41 Funny drive quotes

• 

  3 weeks ago

  Share →: I drive safer when there’s food in my passenger’s seat than when there’s a person sitting there.

  Commentary:
  "Priorities: keeping fries safe since day one! 🚗🍟😄 #FoodOverFriends"

• 

  3 weeks ago

  Share →: Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

  Commentary:
  "Guess they forgot to add 'Don't read billboards and drive' too! 🚗💥📱😂"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: I don’t drink and drive, but some people drive me to drink.

  Commentary:
  "Designated drivers beware: some folks are too talented at being backseat comedians! 😂🚗🍷"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: I wish I had the determination of my wife, who’s still flipping through radio stations as we pull into our driveway.

  Commentary:
  "Your wife's dedication is unmatched! 🚗🎶 She won't let a driveway stop her from finding THE perfect song! 😄🙌"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like my GPS has 'muscle memory' for the drive-thru! 🚗💥🏋️‍♂️🍔"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: I have the sex drive of a potato.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the elusive 'potato libido' – reliable, consistent, and always ready to mash things up! 🥔💥 Who needs passion when you can have starch-filled satisfaction? Keep on being your spudtacular self!" 🤣🥔🚀

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: If my coworker doesn’t stop asking questions on this Zoom meeting, I will drive across town and slap his face on the call.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like this Zoom meeting just turned into a virtual slapstick comedy – tune in for the next episode of 'The Questionable Colleague Chronicles'!"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

  Commentary:
  "Dear music-less drivers, are you out here silently contemplating life or composing symphonies in your head? 🤔🧠🎶 #BrainUnplugged"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Are they honking at me because I’m cute or because I can’t drive.

  Commentary:
  "🚗🤔 Honk if you love a mystery! Are these horns a form of flattery or just a friendly reminder to work on those parallel parking skills? 🚗😅 #CuteButClueless"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: I drive regularly so that my brain doesn’t forget swear words.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew driving was the ultimate language lesson? 🚗💬 Just remember, road rage vocabulary count as… 'creative expression', right? 😜🤬"

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