45 Funny drive quotes

• I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

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  2 months ago

  6, am, around, delay, drive, driving, early, early morning, humor, i, late, leisure, morning, retire, retirement, slow, slow drive, tardiness, wait, work, work delay

• Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

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  2 months ago

  diet, drive, eat, fasting, fitness, health, humor, humor quote, i, intermittent, joke, lifestyle, sarcasm

• I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.

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  2 months ago

  cause, cliff, comedy, drive, driving, grateful, gratitude, humor, i, irony, me, people, reckless, remember, safe, safety, sarcasm, tell

• Please stop adding touchscreens to cars. Most of these idiots can barely drive as it is.

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  2 months ago

  annoyance, car, cars, distraction, drive, driver, driving, humor, idiots, most, please, safety, stop, technology, touchscreen

• I drive safer when there’s food in my passenger’s seat than when there’s a person sitting there.

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  2 months ago

  distracted, distracted driving, drive, driving, driving humor, effect, food, humor, i, passenger, passenger effect, person, road, road safety, safety, seat, sitting

• Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

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  2 months ago

  accident, billboard, car, distraction, drive, driving, humor, irony, reading, safety, said, text, texting

• I don’t drink and drive, but some people drive me to drink.

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  2 months ago

  alcohol, drama, drink, drinking, drive, driving, friendship, humor, humor quote, i, me, party, people, relationship

• I wish I had the determination of my wife, who’s still flipping through radio stations as we pull into our driveway.

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  2 months ago

  daily, daily life, determination, drive, driveway, family, flipping, humor, i, life, patience, perseverance, pull, radio, radio station, relationship, station, stations, still, through, wife, wish

• The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.

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  2 months ago

  accidentally, comedy, drive, fitness, gym, hit, humor, i, laziness, motivation, only, procrastination, workout

• I have the sex drive of a potato.

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  2 months ago

  comparison, drive, humor, i, potato, relationship, self-deprecation, sex, sex drive, wit

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