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112 Funny everything quotes

More funny everything quotes 👇

  • Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

    Commentary:
    “Who needs self-reflection when you can have a scapegoat instead 🤷‍♂️🎯 #BlameGameStrong”

  • Don’t forget to make everything about you today.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the golden rule of self-absorption!🌟 Remember, it’s your world, we’re all just living in it.💁‍♂️🌎 #MeMeMe”

  • My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the mystical powers of the bed! It’s like a memory-refreshing time machine 🛌✨ Who knew procrastination could be so cozy and comfortable? Now, if only it could magically finish all those forgotten tasks too! 💤🪄 #BedMagic”

  • Never lie to Indian girls. That red dot be recording everything.

    Commentary:
    “Attention everyone: the red dot isn’t just a fashion statement, it’s also a surveillance system! 🕵️‍♀️🔴 Better watch your words around Indian girls, lest you become the star of their next reality TV show! 😂 #RedDotConfidential”

  • Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or wont text me back.

    Commentary:
    “Story of my life: the things I love always have commitment issues. 💸🚔📱 #expensive #badboyfriendmaterial”

  • I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do.

    Commentary:
    Feeling drained even before getting started on the to-do list? 😅 Sounds like you’re taking pre-exhaustion to a whole new level! Remember, taking breaks and having a laugh can be productive too 😉💪 #ProcrastinationGameStrong

  • I can resist everything except temptation.

    Commentary:
    Ah, the eternal struggle between willpower and desire! As Oscar Wilde so succinctly put it, “I can resist everything except temptation.” It’s like trying to resist the allure of a warm, gooey chocolate chip cookie on a strict healthy eating plan – temptation always seems to have the upper hand! But hey, who can blame us? Sometimes, giving in to temptation is just too irresistible to resist!

  • I have everything you could possibly ever need in my purse, except for money.

    Commentary:
    “If only wishes and good intentions were accepted as payment, this purse would be a goldmine! But alas, the world runs on cold, hard cash – much to the disappointment of this well-equipped but flat broke bag.”

  • A moment of silence for everything I have to do but am not doing.

    Commentary:
    Ah, let us observe a moment of silence for the to-do list that grows longer with each passing moment, as we masterfully navigate the art of procrastination. May we find solace in the fact that tomorrow is another day to ignore those tasks with renewed determination!

  • Parents be like “don’t believe everything you see on the internet” then believe everything they see on Facebook.

    Commentary:
    “Parents: the only people who simultaneously teach you skepticism and fall for a ‘Free Cruise to the Bahamas’ ad on Facebook. The irony is strong with this one!”

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