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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Just had a salad but it didn’t make me laugh like women in stock photos.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Either you’re violently frolicking with me or you’re violently frolicking against me.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Bugs Bunny taught me that my choices aren’t limited to fight or flight, I can also pretend I’m a pretty lady.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Sorry, I’m late. I found my old CD collection.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

I respect the moon because it controls three of our most precious entities: oceans, wolves & women.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

If you can stand me, you deserve me!

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Am I finishing my education or is my education finishing me?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Right before rock bottom, you’ll have a city builder game on your phone.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

I’m 45% coffee, 40% wine and 6% cheese.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,787

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.

Spotted on TikTok:

I just ate, and now I’m going swimming, so I guess this is goodbye.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Accidentally manifested an emotionally intelligent man that is hot and can cook. We’re currently staring at each other.

Just shared via Discord:

Good morning to everyone except the baristas who don’t tighten the lid.

Spotted on TikTok:

I have browser tabs open that are older than you.

Just shared via Threads:

I need you to think about me 23/7. You get 1 hour a day for yourself.

Going viral on Instagram:

A spoonful of peanut butter from the jar will fix me.

Going viral on Messenger:

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Just shared via TikTok:

“There’s a particular type of insufferability that rich people from poor countries have, that I don’t yet fully know how to verbalize.”

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Cooking with glasses on is so humiliating. Why did I just get blinded by steam?

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t understand how some people find love several times in their lives. I first have to find someone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

62 shares on Pinterest this month:

Can’t believe I didn’t get invited to that party I would have made up an excuse not to go to.

100 shares on Reddit this month:

HR is giving me a hard time because I’ve been starting all my work emails with “Dearly Beloved”.

10 shares on Telegram this month:

Every time we try to eat healthy, along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday, and ruins it for us.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

65 shares on Reddit this month:

“Date” is just another word for: Jeez, had I known that before, I would have stayed home.

62 shares on Threads this month:

My chakra went out for cigarettes.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

Deeply unfair of people to assume I have my life together just because I’m boring.

83 shares on Threads this month:

If you stand too close to me in the check out line, you may as well pay for my stuff while you’re breathing down my neck.

48 shares on Threads this month:

My favorite part of socializing is when it’s over.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

A fun thing to do on a first date is wear a wedding dress.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I identify as a weather forecast: Anything’s possible.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If Keith Richards survived the ’70s, the ’80s, and 1.2 million Marlboros, I can probably survive anything.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t believe I slept good all night. What a rush.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Crying at my desk while also finding time to cry in the shower makes for a healthy work-life balance.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

On the internet it’s super easy to take credit for stuff you had nothing to do with. That’s why I invented it.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

And to my children I leave my collection of tote bags and gift bags.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,700

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

I want a small, tasteful wedding. No family. No friends. No groom. Just me eating a big cake.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Dogs will go through amazing effort to get a better view of your plate.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

I would like even faster food.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Have I made bad decisions when I was drunk? Sure. But have the sober ones been any better? Not really.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Some people are like ads, just skip.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Printers and computers treat each other like they broke up the night before, and you’re their mutual friend.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Due to unfortunate circumstances, things are no longer fergalicious nor bootylicious.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

I was going to go for a run, then realized I could just run my mouth on here.

Just shared via Slack:

My mom sent me a text message so long I had to refill my Adderall prescription to read it.

Just shared via Discord:

I love my new crockpot. Now we can wait longer to eat my horrible cooking.

Shared recently on Reddit:

There’s something so spiritual about new life. When I look my baby nephew in the eyes, I can’t stop thinking about how amazing it will be to connect with him on LinkedIn.

Just landed via WeChat:

My red flag is that I don’t make playlists on Spotify. I just add every song I’ve ever liked to the ‘Liked Songs’ playlist and shuffle that, like an iPod.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Can we talk about what little red riding hoods actual grandma must have looked like?

Making waves on Slack:

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m not saying it’s been a while, I’m just saying I completely blanked on the name of my gym.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Do you ever want sleep but sleep doesn’t want you?

Going viral on Facebook:

For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.

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