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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Every Jurassic Park movie should end with an insurance adjuster getting a phone call and immediately throwing up.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Stop making Fast and Furious movies.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Doggystyle, so we can both look at the river.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Sometimes I wish I could turn down the volume on certain people.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

What no one tells you about having kids is that within a few years you’re in possession of a lot of teeth that you have no idea what to do with.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

I wish I could put an AirTag on my sanity.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

We must all do our part for the planet. The other day I unplugged a row of electric cars nobody was using.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Conflicts may arise but always remember to be the bitter person.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,719

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Cynics are – beneath it all – only idealists with awkwardly high standards.

Live now on Threads:

In retrospect, I guess “one drunken night of stupidity” isn’t the best response when a child asks you where babies come from.

Broadcasted on Threads:

When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.

Breaking via Slack:

Rather than touching grass, I recommend going to a concert and experiencing the live performance of that one song you hold religiously close to your heart.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I really miss kissing. I hope next year favors my lips.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

On a dare, my son sprayed deodorant in his mouth. Now he speaks with an Axe scent.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Blaming the full moon for whatever unhinged decision I make tonight.

Spotted on Slack:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a hot tub.

Just shared via Facebook:

Remember when Mustangs were muscle cars and not an embarrassment to the name.

Trending via Instagram:

Every day, I go to work and draw a little tick on everyone who didn’t say goodbye to me the day before.

168 Funny fashion quotes

More funny fashion quotes 👇

Please take your Apple Watch off if you are wearing a dress or formal attire. You look like a spy kid.

0

3 months ago

accessory, apple, Apple Watch, attire, dress, fashion, formal, formal attire, humor, kid, outfit, please, spy, spy kid, style, take, watch
Once you love wide-leg pants, there is no going back from that.

0

3 months ago

back, clothing, fashion, going, love, once, pant, pants, style, trend, wide-leg, wide-leg pant
It’s all fun and games until your jeans no longer fit.

0

3 months ago

clothing, fashion, fit, fun, gain, game, games, humor, jean, jeans, longer, weight, weight gain
Sorry if I seem sad, I got a new long-sleeve shirt for fall, but I haven’t been able to wear it yet because it’s 94°.

0

3 months ago

able, clothing, fall, fashion, frustration, got, heat, hot, hot weather, humor, i, long-sleeve, long-sleeve shirt, mismatch, new, sad, seasonal, seasonal frustration, shirt, sorry, temperature, wear, weather, weather mismatch
“Because my hair is not done” is a very valid reason to decline an outing.

0

4 months ago

care, decline, done, excuse, fashion, hair, humor, outing, personal, personal care, reason, refusal, socializing
By age 40, you should have an entire wardrobe of clothes—one size too small—that you keep in eternal optimism that you’ll fit in them again one day.

0

4 months ago

40, again, age, age 40, body, body image, clothes, day, eternal, fashion, fit, humor, image, keep, optimism, should, size, size too small, small, too, wardrobe
Mini skirts are so cute and fun, like, oops, my ass is out.

0

4 months ago

ass, clothing, cute, fashion, fun, humor, malfunction, mini, mini skirt, oops, skirt, style, wardrobe, wardrobe malfunction
wearing no bra and oversized clothes is self-care at its finest

0

5 months ago

bra, clothes, comfort, fashion, humor, no bra, oversized, oversized clothes, relaxation, self-care
Fall fashion: where we all transform into stylish, toasty marshmallows!

0

5 months ago

autumn, clothing, cozy, fall, fall fashion, fashion, humor, marshmallow, style, transformation, warmth, where
Oh, I’m so excited to wear Uggs, beanies, and oversized sweaters. I can feel fall creeping up.

0

5 months ago

autumn, beanie, cozy, excited, excitement, fall, fashion, feel, i, oh, oversized, sweater, Ugg, wear

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All funny fashion quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Telegram this month:

At the doctor’s office, booing all the names being called that aren’t mine.

97 shares on Slack this month:

Sorry, can’t make it, just remembered I don’t want to.

27 shares on Telegram this month:

Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I might not be able to speak another language but I can speak English slower!

80 shares on Messenger this month:

Welcome to Twitter, where people never let their lack of knowledge get in the way of expressing a strong opinion.

26 shares on Twitch this month:

Your DM doesn’t match the Bible quote in your bio. Uh-oh.

16 shares on Instagram this month:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a kid that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

92 shares on Facebook this month:

“You’re so chill.” Thanks, I gave up.

72 shares on Twitch this month:

Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!

86 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m disgusted by the amount of nudity on Netflix these days. There’s hardly any. What am I even paying for?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

“You’re so understanding,” yeah, because I don’t want to go to prison for the rest of my life.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Harry Potter is sort of crazy. I would have never fought a war for my high school.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Sorry, but if you’re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, you’re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if you’re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, I’m thinking enemy.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

I wish we were cats so you could just randomly slap co-workers for no reason.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

My favorite emails are the ones that say your order has shipped.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

80% of Americans just want to put on sunglasses and say, ‘Let’s do this.’

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand why it isn’t socially acceptable to choose to be nocturnal. The angry hot sky ball is gone, my internet is fast, everyone finally shut up, what’s not to like.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Sorry, my bedroom looks like a child with a credit card decorated it. Do you still want to bone?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Manipulative birthday text to an ex idea: thank you for loving me briefly in the way that only you could.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

I wish flies spoke English, so I could say, ‘Hey, if you don’t leave right now, I am going to kill you so hard.’

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

My ex thinks I’m with someone else, someone else thinks I’m with my ex, everyone wonders where I am. Here I am. Just enjoying my own life.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Another Monday that no one asked for.

Spotted on Reddit:

What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

Just landed via Reddit:

Every retail employee should get to hit one customer a year and there is no way for customers to tell if they’ve used it yet.

Going viral on Telegram:

I feel like everyone who has ever had a hamster has some kind of traumatic experience with it.

Live now on Threads:

If we’ve got the technology to make heated car seats, then where the hell are the seats that automatically cool down in the summer? Make it happen, nerds.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Attention to detail is so sexy, study me, baby.

Spotted on Reddit:

Person in murder documentary: This is a small town. Things like this don’t happen here. Me: Um, based on the shows I watch, that’s all that happens in small towns.

Going viral on Facebook:

What do you even say when someone knocks on your bathroom stall … like, what’s the protocol?

Breaking via Instagram:

You can fake an American accent all you want, but “literally” will expose you.

Activity Log ✨

168 Funny fashion quotes

More funny fashion quotes 👇

All funny fashion quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨