Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ή has copied:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ώ has copied:

Wow, another wooden ball. Would it kill avocado makers to put a different toy in there?

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡΄ has bookmarked:

Italians, look away now. I break my spaghetti in half before I cook it.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡¦ has shared:

You are the Monday of my life.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ύ has copied:

Introverts be like “I know a place”, then go home.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡ͺ has shared:

There used to be many different names for the childhood game of knocking on doors and running away. But these days, it’s simply referred to as β€˜being an Amazon driver’.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡¬ has bookmarked:

I don’t do exercise because one time I kneed myself in the face doing a burpee.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡΄ has viewed:

Waking up has backfired on me so many times.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ή has shared:

The idiot’s diet is just biting your tongue.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡΅ has downloaded:

In hell, you wait for a β€˜verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

819 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,981

Funny Quotes Topics

13,924

Funny Quotes Images

10,981

Updated

6 minutes ago

Users Online

3,440

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just landed via Slack:

I miss the days when you could simply end a phone call by slamming the receiver down angrily.

Going viral on Messenger:

90% of parenting is wondering when you can lie down again.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Some people are so judgmental, I can tell by just looking at them.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

A bathrobe is being naked with plausible deniability and pockets.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I was having a great time until I remembered that I was ugly.

Just shared via Threads:

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

Reported on Slack:

Before sleeping, most people will imagine stuff they want to happen. Like sleeping.

Seen just now on Slack:

Christmas can be really hard for single people. Everyone else is having a brilliant time and we have to hide the fact that every day is like that for us.

Reported on Snapchat:

Unfortunately, I do enjoy watching the downfall of people who did me wrong.

Home Β» Funny Figure Quotes Β» Page 3

22 Funny figure quotes

More funny figure quotes πŸ‘‡

For even more funny figure quotes, check out the next page, if available πŸ‘‡

All funny figure quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

Trending Funny Quotes πŸ“ˆ

Hot Funny Quotes πŸ”₯

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

819 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,981

Funny Quotes Topics

13,924

Funny Quotes Images

10,981

Updated

6 minutes ago

Users Online

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month πŸš€

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡² has viewed:

I birthed my kid faster than she can put on shoes.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡· has bookmarked:

When I eat rotisserie chicken, I like to pretend that I’m performing an autopsy.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡­ has shared:

Gonna end every insult with β€œbut in a good way”.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡· has downloaded:

I did some soul searching last night. I’m happy to report I still have one.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡³ has shared:

Love crawling into bed like it’s a spa retreat, only to wake up like I survived a bar fight.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡² has shared:

As a sales clerk, you want to shout after some people as they leave the store: “Are you sure you’ve really REALLY touched everything?”

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ͺ has bookmarked:

And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡Ή has shared:

Friendly reminder that double negatives are a big no-no.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ή has viewed:

One of the kids said, β€œCamping looks fun,” so tonight we’re watching The Revenant.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡© has shared:

I’m not addicted to Twitter. I’m just a really good listener so I want to know what everyone has to say.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Spotted on TikTok:

Nosferatu implies the existence of a Yesferatu.

Going viral on Threads:

Me: This show is really boring. Boss: Again, this a zoom conference.

Seen just now on Twitch:

My wife bought new towels and they’re different colors, so I know the entire color scheme of my house is about to change.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

Trending via Messenger:

I always wait 3 minutes after each post for the applause to die down.

Making waves on Discord:

β€œYou’re so funny!” Thanks, I didn’t get laid in high school.

Just shared via WeChat:

The place where you pour in the gas is the car’s gasshole.

Just landed via YouTube:

Saw a shooting star and made a wish for everyone to stop talking to me.

Spotted on X:

My swear jar is filing for an IPO soon.

Just landed via Reddit:

It’s only 9am and I’ve already ruined my son’s entire life by giving him the banana with the brown spot on it.

Share Wordgag πŸ™

Β© 2025. All fights retarded. πŸ€ͺ

Made with ❀️ in Sydney β˜€οΈπŸŒ΄