Funny fired quotes

• Someone at my job mentioned severance, and I was like, “Oh my God, I love that show,” and they said, “No, I’m about to get fired.”

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  2 months ago

  fired, firing, God, humor, i, job, love, misunderstanding, oh, reaction, said, severance, show, someone, TV, TV Show, workplace

• Pilot is one of the few jobs where you can get fired for going above and beyond.

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  2 months ago

  above, aviation, beyond, fired, firing, going, going above and beyond, humor, job, jobs, pilot, profession, where, workplace

• Whoever allowed me to become an adult needs to be fired.

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  2 months ago

  adult, allowed, decision, fired, firing, humor, life, me, needs, responsibility, sarcasm, workplace

• All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy.

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  2 months ago

  cat, dog, fired, job, lazy, spend, think, time

• Got fired from my job at the zoo because I kept trying to wax the turtles.

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  2 months ago

  animal, fired, humor, i, job, trying, turtles, wax, workplace, zoo

• I got fired from my job at the massage parlor. No specific reason, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.

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  2 months ago

  fired, humor, i, job, joke, just, massage, parlor, people, reason, rub, specific, wrong, wrong way

• Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers ‘my pharmily’.

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  2 months ago

  calling, coworkers, day, drugstore, fired, first day, humor, joke, new, pharmily, pun, working, workplace

• You didn’t get fired, your job “fumbled you”.

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  2 months ago

  fired, Fumble, humor, job, workplace

• I got fired for telling customers if they wanted “smoking or non-smoking”. Apparently, the correct term in the funeral home business is “cremation or burial”.

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  2 months ago

  burial, business, correct, cremation, customer, customer service, customers, fired, funeral, funeral home, home, humor, i, job, job loss, loss, misunderstanding, service, smoking, term, wanted, workplace

• Congrats on hitting your Q3 numbers. Here’s an even bigger Q4 number that you’ll be fired for missing.

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  3 months ago

  bigger, business, congrats, deadline, even, fired, firing, hitting, humor, missing, number, numbers, performance, pressure, q3, Q3 number, q4, Q4 number, work

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