Funny fired quotes

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  2 weeks ago

  Share →: Pilot is one of the few jobs where you can get fired for going above and beyond.

  Commentary:
  "Guess there are some real flying limits! 😂✈️ #SkyHighExpectations"

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  2 months ago

  Share →: Whoever allowed me to become an adult needs to be fired.

  Commentary:
  Looks like someone’s ready to launch a complaint into the "Adulting" department! 😅📝 Guess we all deserve a gold star for navigating this chaos—no manual included. 🚀😂 Remember, the only thing more confusing than adult life is trying to find the "undo" button! 🤪🔄

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  4 months ago

  Share →: All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy.

  Commentary:
  🐶 "Our dogs see us as dedicated full-time playmates, always ready for a game of fetch or a belly rub. Meanwhile, our cats just assume we're part of the 'sleeping 18 hours a day' club. Hey, at least we're keeping them entertained with our unemployment shenanigans!" 😺 #FurBabyPerspectives

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Got fired from my job at the zoo because I kept trying to wax the turtles.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like the turtles weren't fans of a 'shellac' treatment! 🐢💅 Maybe stick to your day job next time! 😂 #TurtleWaxingFail"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: I got fired from my job at the massage parlor. No specific reason, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, getting fired from a massage parlor for rubbing people the wrong way? That's quite the twist 😂 Maybe they just couldn't handle your unconventional 'deep tissue' technique 🤔 Keep those massages strictly PG next time! 💆‍♂️💼 #RubbedTheWrongWay"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers ‘my pharmily’.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like they couldn't handle your 'pharmily' charm 😂 Maybe they were just jealous of your pun game 💊👨‍🔬 Better luck with your next job where they appreciate your dose of humor!"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: You didn’t get fired, your job “fumbled you”.

  Commentary:
  "When life gives you a 'fumble', just do a touchdown dance on your way out! 🏈💃 Losing a job is just a fancy word for 'forced career change'. 😉 #FumbleNotFired"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: I got fired for telling customers if they wanted “smoking or non-smoking”. Apparently, the correct term in the funeral home business is “cremation or burial”.

  Commentary:
  Seems like this employee was just thinking ahead to accommodate all preferences, even in the afterlife! 😂🔥⚰️ Who knew that in the funeral business, it's all about the final smoking vs. non-smoking section! #RestInPeaceOrInAshes

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