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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

I’m never wrong. Just different levels of right.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

At the airport, and a wife asked her husband, “Where are our seats?” and he responds, “In the airplane.”

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Long sandwiches should have suitcase handles.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

The way people who are really into each other look moments before kissing is so hot. It’s like seeing a glimpse of cannibalism.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

I like my mornings to be slow and quiet. I want the day to romance me a bit before it tries to mess me up.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

It’s like winter is mad and keeps storming out, then coming back yelling ‘and another thing!’

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

My body’s check engine light has been on for years.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

So why is it that when Star Trek ‘boldly go where no one has gone before’ they always find someone there?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

If I’m ever in a coma, please pluck my chin hairs.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Of course women need more pockets, where are we supposed to hold all of our grudges?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

4,055

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

I don’t know why doctors only give stickers to kids? Like, hello, I was also brave today.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

Shared recently on Discord:

I suck at charging my phone, 21 percent charged, and I’m taking it off so I can lay the other way.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Putting sunscreen on kids feels like cardio.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Regrettably, my children appear to have befriended a child I find annoying.

Just landed via X:

And once again my day begins without a red carpet! Guys, I’m really disappointed in you.

Freshly posted on Slack:

In the 90s, you could tell who won the rap battle by who was still alive.

Trending via Facebook:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Lately life has been all panic no disco.

Just landed via WeChat:

My kids have been joking for weeks about a new Pokémon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life.

Home » funny comparison » Page 3

25 Funny funny comparison quotes

More funny funny comparison quotes 👇

Trying to work outside on a laptop is like sunbathing on a melting ice cube.

0

4 months ago

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Having a horse run off on you in medieval times must have been crazy. Imagine if your car got scared and ran away, and you found it a day later by itself at a gas station.

0

4 months ago

animal, animal behavior, away, behavior, car, comparison, crazy, day, found, funny comparison, gas, gas station, got, having, horse, humor, imagine, later, life, medieval, medieval times, modern, modern life, ran, run, runaway, runaway horse, scared, station, times, transportation
Dropped my skinny boyfriend between the bed and the wall like a vape or a TV remote.

0

4 months ago

bed, boyfriend, comparison, dropped, funny comparison, humor, item, lost, lost item, remote, skinny, TV, vape, wall
Don’t know how to explain this, but “hot honey” is the pickleball of condiments (derogatory).

0

4 months ago

comparison, condiment, derogatory, explain, food, food humor, funny comparison, honey, hot, hot honey, humor, know, pickleball, slang
Dating after 40 is like trying to find the least damaged item at the thrift store that doesn’t smell.

0

4 months ago

40, adult, adult dating, after, chance, comparison, damaged, dating, funny comparison, humor, item, least, over, over 40, relationship, second, second chance, smell, store, thrift, thrift store, trying

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All funny funny comparison quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t know what’s more fun—grocery shopping or making the old men blush by asking if these melons look ripe.

51 shares on Slack this month:

If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

98 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Love when a doctor emails me about my “outstanding bill”. If it’s so good, why don’t you pay it?

70 shares on LinkedIn this month:

In my retweeting era, because I’m just speechless.

35 shares on Twitch this month:

There’s nothing worse than being in public and you touch something that shouldn’t be sticky and it is.

12 shares on YouTube this month:

Plants are like “I’ll have a light lunch.”

68 shares on Discord this month:

About to form my very first opinion.

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I had the most impatient and rudest cashier. I’m never using self-checkout again.

17 shares on X this month:

Dear predictive text, I am tired of sending people “Thanksgiving” when they send me a recipe or directions.

36 shares on TikTok this month:

Dogs are like chicken nuggets; every time I see one, I want it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Welcome to adulthood: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Bought a house plant so I wouldn’t be the only one dying of dehydration around here.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s being annoyed by stupidity.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

I mean, sex is all right, but have you ever experienced the sheer sensuality of having rock-solid proof that a problem at work was someone else’s fault, even though it really, really looked like it was yours?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

The world contains protons, neutrons, electrons, and morons.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

I bought all this healthy food at the grocery store today and now I’m trying to decide if I want Chinese food or pizza delivered for dinner tonight.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

I don’t know what millennial needs to hear this, but throw away the box your phone came in. You don’t need it. You will never need it.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Discord:

Keep posting, I’m diagnosing you.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Shark tooth necklaces are the perfect accessory if you want to look tough but also tell the world, “I’ve been to a gift shop.”

Making waves on Snapchat:

Technically mixed martial arts can include tickle fighting.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Everyone says “Do what makes you happy”, until you push them down the stairs.

Making waves on WeChat:

Incorrectly is the only word that, when spelled correctly, is still spelled incorrectly.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

A general rule of parenting: if you’re having a great day, the day isn’t old enough yet.

Trending via WhatsApp:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok.” Well, I just made some shit up, and people believe me because I’m well read and use big words.

Going viral on WeChat:

Toddlers: the brutally honest roommates nobody asked for!

Shared recently on Discord:

Sadly, I do my best proofreading after I hit “send.

Shared recently on Twitch:

If the universe is continuing to expand then why does my rent keep going up?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

25 Funny funny comparison quotes

More funny funny comparison quotes 👇

Trying to work outside on a laptop is like sunbathing on a melting ice cube.

Having a horse run off on you in medieval times must have been crazy. Imagine if your car got scared and ran away, and you found it a day later by itself at a gas station.

Dropped my skinny boyfriend between the bed and the wall like a vape or a TV remote.

Don’t know how to explain this, but “hot honey” is the pickleball of condiments (derogatory).

Dating after 40 is like trying to find the least damaged item at the thrift store that doesn’t smell.

All funny funny comparison quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨