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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by asking if they’re drinking enough water.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

If there is a God and He “loves” us, then explain snakes.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

I’m delusional but self-aware, I call that Delaware.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Me, adding fuel to the fire: I’m just here to help.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Horoscope: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, you’d almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Nighty night! Don’t let the horror of existence bite.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

There are two types of people in politics. Avoid them.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

I can’t believe she picked her husband, her boyfriend and her other boyfriend over me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

806 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,968

Funny Quotes Topics

13,932

Funny Quotes Images

10,968

Updated

22 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on YouTube:

Girl math is ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Having a job ruined my life.

Just landed via Instagram:

If a tree falls on your ex in the woods and no one’s around to hear it, you should probably still get rid of the chainsaw.

Spotted on YouTube:

If I was a little smarter, I’d be aware of how stupid I am.

Trending via Snapchat:

Stop animal testing! Use my ex!

Breaking via Twitch:

Your call is very important to us, here’s six days of irritating music.

Seen just now on Telegram:

You can add “cha cha cha” to any sentence you want without explaining yourself. Nobody really appreciates this.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Fundamentally, I understand chess, because I too would never let my king feel unsafe.

Just shared via Instagram:

The phrase “don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate.

Trending via Pinterest:

This meeting could have been an oil painting.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

806 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,968

Funny Quotes Topics

13,932

Funny Quotes Images

10,968

Updated

22 minutes ago

Users Online

3,438

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Maybe your baby is crying because it doesn’t like you.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

I have been nothing but creepy and aggressive to you. Please respond.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

I don’t need a New Year’s resolution, it’s the year’s turn to be better.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

I like my bed more than I like most people.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

My future wife is probably fake laughing at her boyfriend’s lame jokes right now. Be patient, Queen, a true clown is on the way.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

I’ve worn oversized T-shirts so much that I suffocate if I wear one that actually fits.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

I love how every website has a “Keep me signed in on this computer” button and it’s just straight up bullshit.

Live now on Discord:

Interviewer: Can I get you anything? Me: Yeah, a job!

Shared recently on WeChat:

Hey girl, are you an extraterrestrial? ’Cause your husband’s out here acting like you don’t exist.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I can’t watch Sex and the City anymore, because I get really upset at how much money these ladies have.

Making waves on Discord:

Dating me is super easy. I text you at 8; you reply at 8:00:01.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “yeah, but not to you”.

Reported on X:

In a room full of art, I’d still stare at you.

Trending via Messenger:

Hey, you should start your own business and then mind it.

Spotted on Threads:

Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

Making waves on Discord:

I wonder what the part of my brain that used to store people’s phone numbers is doing now.

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