Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately for the haters, I will continue to keep being me.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Rich people go to parties. It’s what they do, and somehow we must all watch videos of it.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

The concept of warding off vampires with crosses is so interesting to me. I wonder if it applies to any other religion or if they’re allergic to just Catholicism.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

I only look up to people that are taller than me and really that’s about the extent of it.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

My parents told me I could be anything I wanted so I became unacceptable.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Not really into dating right now, but very into flirting, and that’s where things get complicated.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

The Angry Birds assaulted me and made me rip their disgusting bong.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

The closest I’ve come to mastering a martial art is figuring out how to wash my feet in the shower.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

If you’re going to stare all night and not say hello, do you mind taking your fingers and squishing my head from across the room?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Most of being a woman is just removing exclamation points from emails before you send them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,423

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

I’m running out of people I like.

Going viral on Twitch:

Idiocracy wasn’t supposed to be a documentary.

Just landed via YouTube:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with her.

Seen just now on Slack:

Everyone thinks they’re a badass until seaweed brushes their leg.

Live now on Messenger:

You try to fart in the toilet in the morning without waking the whole house and thanks to the brilliant acoustics of the toilet bowl, the horn of Gondor sounds.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

It’s been too long since I partook in shenanigans.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I will never forget when my dad had a guy from Verizon call me in middle school to tell me that I was using more data than Obama and that I need to stop.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

When I say “the other day”, it can be anytime between yesterday and my birth.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Asking my boyfriend if he would still date me if an alien had done experiments on me that killed me but, as a gesture of kindness, replaced me with a perfect replica, and he was the only one who knew.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

My body is a temple. An ancient, creaky temple with questionable plumbing.

Funny homes quotes

Funny homes quotes bring laughter and charm to the heart of every house 🏠😂 Whether you’re dealing with messy kitchens, quirky roommates, or just the everyday chaos of family life, these witty lines capture it all perfectly! From cozy chaos to lovable quirks, get ready to smile and relate as you celebrate the joy and humor found in every corner of home sweet home 🛋️🎉✨

New funny homes quotes 👇

American homes are so strange because, why is your front door in the living room?

0

2 months ago

American, American culture, architecture, culture, design, door, front, front door, homes, house, house design, humor, interior, interior design, living, room, strange, why
Me pulling into a full parking lot: Don’t these people have homes?

0

2 months ago

annoyance, everyday, everyday situation, full, home, homes, humor, lot, me, parking, parking lot, people, sarcasm, situation
People that never want to leave the house unite! Separately at our own homes.

0

2 months ago

homebody, homes, house, humor, introvert, leave, never, own, people, separately, unite, want
Everyone is always talking about raising money for dogs without homes, but what about the ones who don’t have cars?

0

2 months ago

always, car, cars, charity, dog, dogs, everyone, fundraising, home, homes, humor, joke, money, pet, raising, talking
Warning: People who need to leave their homes today are advised that it is extremely Monday outside this morning.

0

2 months ago

advice, home, homes, humor, leave, Monday, morning, need, outside, people, today, warning
I’m looking for friends with benefits. And by that I mean friends who have pools, boats and beautiful vacation homes.

0

2 months ago

beautiful, benefit, boat, friend, friends, friendship, fun, home, homes, i, leisure, looking, luxury, mean, pool, pools, summer, vacation, vacation home
I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels.

0

2 months ago

connection, friends, fun, homes, i, secret, tunnels, underground, wish
I kind of can’t wait for my generation to be bumping 90’s hip hop, rap, and heavy metal at the old folks’ homes.

0

3 months ago

90s, 90s hip hop, citizen, folks, generation, heavy, heavy metal, hip, home, homes, hop, humor, i, kind, metal, music, nostalgia, old, old folks’ home, rap, senior, senior citizen, wait

All funny homes quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Messenger this month:

Hug your children as often as you can. They can’t break things during this time.

23 shares on Slack this month:

If you get cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and still participate in family game nights.

32 shares on Facebook this month:

“God has a plan for you.” OK, is God open to a little feedback?

18 shares on Instagram this month:

My morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired I am.

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you send a man to war today, he’s gonna go there and take dark exposure aesthetic pics.

25 shares on Slack this month:

My husband doesn’t find it nearly as amusing as I do when I sing, “Someday My Prince Will Come,” while I’m cleaning.

59 shares on Reddit this month:

An agenda reveal party, where I surprise everyone with all the things I hope to accomplish this weekend.

43 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The bowling ball actually hangs out with the pins after work. There isn’t beef there.

22 shares on WeChat this month:

Dr. Pepper just unseated Pepsi as the second most popular soda in America. Don’t tell me that getting your PhD isn’t worth it.

82 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Dear deodorant manufacturers, please stop writing “72h” on your products. There are people who believe that. And they sit next to me on the bus. Always. All of them!

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone know how to grow a money tree?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

This quote is invisible. Only people who masturbate a lot can read it.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

We really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Brushing your teeth at night is a hellish chore. Walking from bed to bathroom feels harder than working in the mines all day. I’m getting pissed just thinking about it.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

When did making sense stop making sense?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I like to just appear out of nowhere and say, “this looks like a job for a binder clip.”

24 folks are currently checking 👀

You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you lost was a normal pigeon.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The feminine urge to say “ouch” when I bump into things that doesn’t even hurt.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If only men knew the power “I made reservations, I’ll pick you up at 7” held instead of “I don’t know, whatever you wanna do.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,382

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

I could never journal, I’d start lying in there too.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

You know you’re getting older when you keep asking “Why do they have to make the instructions so small?”

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Drinking through a straw is the opposite of snorkeling.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

If food delivery apps had never been invented, I would either be wildly rich or dead.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

You give a man your heart and he’s gonna put it under another girl’s picture.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

I haven’t cleaned my shower in so long, it’s becoming a terrarium. Absolutely gorgeous.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

(guy who’s not even that into you) I love you.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Vibrators are wrong and unnatural. The Bible said Adam and Eve, not Florence and the Machine.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

The older I get, the more I start to understand the appeal of birdwatching as a hobby. I do find myself watching these little troublemakers quite often.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised as I thought she was at home with the kids.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

Seen just now on Threads:

I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

Trending via TikTok:

Cleaning your glasses is like changing from 360p to 1080p.

Trending via Pinterest:

Not all people have bad neighbors. The ones next door have a great one.

Making waves on Facebook:

“Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.

Trending via Twitch:

Oasis didn’t just write good songs. They wrote the soundtrack for a whole generation.

Shared recently on X:

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

Trending via TikTok:

“Life is a marathon, not a sprint.” Cool, I dislike both of those things.

Seen just now on WeChat:

So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴