Commentary:
Cut the WiFi, and watch the bathroom lines clear faster than a free pizza announcement! 🍕🚀💨
250 Funny house quotes
You know you’re getting old when you get mad at some random car parked outside your house.
Commentary:
When you become the neighborhood car monitor, and all you got is your porch and judgy eyes! 🚗👀🧓😆
Thinking of starting a club for people who don’t like to leave their house. There are no meetings.
Commentary:
Sounds like a "sit down and stay home" kind of club! Count me in! 🏠😴✌️
I just want a bar where I can pour my own drink, have music at a normal volume, and there are no people, and it’s my house.
Commentary:
Sounds like the perfect introvert's dream: BYOB (Be Your Own Bartender)! 🍹🎶🏠🤣
The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.
Commentary:
Sounds like my daily quest for coffee, but with less XP. ☕😅🏡
Being in a rich person’s house is so stressful. Like, why am I struggling to find the trash?
Commentary:
When the garbage has its own zip code 😅🗺️🏠
Obviously, I’m gonna upload pictures with filters and in my best angles. If you wanna see the ugly side of me, come to my house, but bring ice cream.
Commentary:
Why showcase the "au naturel" version when filtered fabulousness is just a swipe away? 🍦😜 #IceCreamGetsYouIn
Next on Tiny Houses: A family of 6 moves into a boat emoji.
Commentary:
Living on the edge… of capsizing! 🚤😂🏠
My husband is trying to convince me that we’re in a situationship. “The situation is that we live in the same house and love each other.”
Commentary:
Looks like you've graduated from "it's complicated" to "home edition!" 🏡😂❤️
“I’m not afraid to admit when I’m wrong. For example, I thought it was a good idea to leave the house today, which, as it turns out, was a terrible mistake.”
Commentary:
Every time I leave the house, I'm reminded why sweatpants exist 😂🙈