Commentary:
Sounds like an Olympic-level event in the procrastination marathon 🏃♀️🥇🧹🌱📞
5670 Funny i quotes
I love icebreakers. They really give me time to anxiously reflect on what the most fun fact about me is, while I don’t listen to anyone else at all.
Commentary:
"Fun fact about me: I once survived an icebreaker by using 'um' as a flotation device! 😅🧊🚤"
Getting an extra 20 minutes in the day when someone cancels a meeting is like finding a penny on the ground. Not gonna use it for anything, but wow, am I excited.
Commentary:
Feels like finding a unicorn in my calendar! 🦄⏰ Now, what to do with this magical bonus time? 😆✨
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but I think people who say ‘I don’t know who needs to hear this’ know exactly who needed to hear it.
Commentary:
Clearly, it's some kind of reverse psychology Jedi mind trick. 🧙♂️🔮😂
I like people who make eye contact like they know something I don’t.
Commentary:
When they give you that gaze, it's either deep wisdom or they remembered where they hid your snacks! 👀😂
Procrastination isn’t a horrible thing. I mean, you always have something to do tomorrow… plus you have nothing to do today.
Commentary:
Sounds like my schedule is booked with a whole lot of nothing today! 😆🛌✨
Airplanes are so weird because how does a giant metal box stay in the air like that, and why am I craving tomato juice?
Commentary:
Flying: the only time when sitting in a metal tube at 36,000 feet makes you crave a drink you'd never buy on the ground! ✈️🤷♂️🍅
Been acting really busy today because I can tell my coworker wants to talk about something in his personal life.
Commentary:
Dodging drama like a professional ninja while perfecting my 'busy bee' impression 🐝🙅♂️🤫
Annoyed because I want to live my life without a job.
Commentary:
Living my best life: professionally unemployed 😂🏖️✨
I wonder how many calories I can burn petting my cat.
Commentary:
Burning calories, one purr at a time! 🐾💪😺