Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Sorry for texting you back instantly. My phone was in my hand, and I’m mature and actually like you.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Maybe if we sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

What do you mean a baguette isn’t a female bag?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

I wish I could Shazam a perfume.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

I have information that will lead to where your hug is at.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

There’s no post-breakup healing process for girls. You just wake up one day and be like, “Ew,” and you’re free.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Sometimes being on your phone all day is your destiny.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Handsome, you better get to the point, my beer buzz is starting to wear off.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Terrible things can happen if you go camping. For starters, you could want to go camping again.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I will never understand people’s fascination with their ancestry, isn’t knowing your current family bad enough.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,661

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

Thanks for leaving my door open; I was running low on houseflies.

Shared recently on Slack:

Better to be a wolf that everyone hates, than a donkey that everyone rides.

Making waves on X:

People who grew up with money will look you in the eyes and ask you something insane like, “Do you ski?”

Spotted on Slack:

My kid asked where babies come from and I said everywhere, man, they’re worldwide.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Cool things happen when you start hanging out outside a lot. Animals just appear and stuff.

Just shared via Telegram:

I wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

Freshly posted on X:

100% of all babіes are unemployed. Pathetіc.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’ve been blocked, unfollowed, and unfriended, but I’ve never been told I’m bad in bed.

Live now on TikTok:

Referring to normal shoes as non-bowling shoes.

144 Funny idea quotes

More funny idea quotes 👇

For even more funny idea quotes, hit next 👇

All funny idea quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on X this month:

All strapless bras need to be taken off the shelves. A total recall. We do not have the technology yet.

20 shares on Pinterest this month:

Second day without coffee. I can no longer hear out of my left eye.

41 shares on Threads this month:

How do I un-know people?

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s always better than if you do it yourself. It’s the same with sex.

49 shares on WeChat this month:

Wanted to report a YouTube video, but there is no option for “Cringe”, so I just picked “Terrorism”.

29 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Our parents used to drop us off at school with no water bottle, no phone and no snacks, yet somehow we survived.

28 shares on Messenger this month:

I hate when you leave your phone on the side, and it brings up that red evil clock.

85 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m having an orange, and the dogs keep looking at me like, “stop eating that ball, dude.”

20 shares on YouTube this month:

The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

66 shares on Discord this month:

Spotify Wrapped has a special talent for pulling up an artist I’ve literally never heard of and telling me I actually listen to them 2,000 times per day.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My coffee and I used to be hot. Now, we’re just bitter.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been dieting for a little over a week and I already gained three pounds.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s called the Summer Olympics so one of the events should be running in flip flops to catch the ice cream man.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you all introverts ever open a text and think, ‘I’ll reply when I have the energy,’ and then it’s three weeks, and you have to live with the guilt of being a horrible friend.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

IKEA products should be cheaper, I’m doing all the work here. It’s like ordering takeout food and still having to cook it when it arrives.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I am “We read the newspaper front to back every single day,” years old.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

People say that they want to be tall, but don’t realize how many times tall people are assaulted by spiderwebs.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

In medieval Europe, it was pretty easy to amass vast armies eager to go into battle and have their heads chopped off because no one wanted to be alive in medieval Europe.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

They say money can’t buy happiness, but could someone just give me a lot of it and let me see for myself?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,395

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

People who can’t tell the difference between whole numbers and decimals are missing the point.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

I’ve had enough. I’m ready to spend an eternity in the arms of my lover.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

They should invent a “stay signed in” checkbox that isn’t meaningless.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

I’m chronically online in a different and more sophisticated way than you are.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

We’ve historically done extremely well with regime change, so this should be a piece of cake.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Sorry I didn’t text you back, I was pretending I didn’t see it and ended up actually forgetting.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Went for a run this morning. That bee was huge!

Going viral on Discord:

They should invent a grocery store that’s just for me and no one else.

Going viral on Twitch:

Salted, and I cannot stress this enough, butter.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not a jar of Nutella.

Trending via Pinterest:

(Talking to myself) I just don’t know what to tell you.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Life always has it’s ups and downs. I like to up the music, down the drinks, and then relax and enjoy.

Going bananas on Reddit:

You should get a pension for having to go to school for so many years.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Being Leonardo DiCaprio is like driving in a school zone. You don’t go above twenty-five.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴