Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched the argument I baited you with.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Professor: Most of you won’t pass this course. Me: Cool, so you’re like, real shitty at your job.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I may as well go while I’m here.”

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

I’m blunt because the universe rolled me that way.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Instagram is run by celebrities. Twitter is run by the streets.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

The most difficult thing you’ll do as a parent is not rearrange the ornaments after the kids put them on the tree.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Your annoying online persona has captured my heart.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Shit posting is cheaper than therapy.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Nobody warns you of the devastation two days of stuffing will bring upon your digestive system.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Turning to the person next to me and saying “thanks for nothing” as I get off the train.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,635

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Somebody just told me I was living the dream, I can assure you I have never dreamt of this shit right here.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I knew school was a scam when my business teacher didn’t own a business, and my PE teacher was fat.

Breaking via Threads:

After hearing that I have too many books and too many bookshelves, I’ve decided to cut back on the amount of people I listen to.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

There should be a “Take Your Friend to Work Day,” so we can actually see what our friends do all day and meet the characters from all their work stories.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I was having a great day, and then, people.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

If Twitter has taught me anything, a lot of us aren’t ready for a spelling bee.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Having to confirm your past purchases over the phone with your bank’s fraud department is a truly harrowing moment of self-examination for chronic little treat buyers.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Strict parents raise good liars.

Spotted on Threads:

If you’re curious what the priciest item in a store is just bring a kid along because they’ll definitely find then break it.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Nice to finally get back that hour they stole earlier this year.

13 Funny jail quotes

Funny jail quotes bring a hilarious twist to life behind bars 😂⛓️ Whether you’re looking to lighten the mood or share a cheeky laugh with friends, these witty lines turn tough times into comedy gold 🎭🤣 Get ready to chuckle at the unexpected humor found in the most unlikely place – jail! 🚓📜 #LaughOutLoud #JailHumor

New funny jail quotes 👇

You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax, and rich people can go to jail.

7 days ago

board, board game, game, humor, irony, jail, luxury, luxury tax, money, Monopoly, old, old game, people, person, rich, rich person, tax, tell, wealth
There’s a guy who thinks he’s going to Yale, but it’s jail.

1 week ago

going, guy, humor, irony, jail, joke, misunderstanding, prison, Yale
Traveling long distance without earphones feels like you’re serving a jail term.

1 week ago

confinement, distance, earphone, earphones, entertainment, feels, frustration, jail, journey, long distance, long journey, noise, serving, silence, term, travel, travel frustration
I feel like I’m in jail when I’m around unfunny people for too long.

1 week ago

around, boredom, feel, frustration, humor, i, jail, loneliness, people, situation, social, social situation, too, unfunny
Just did my own taxes, I should be in jail by Friday.

1 week ago

financial, Friday, humor, i, jail, joke, just, own, responsibility, self-assessment, tax
You should get one IG story in addition to your one phone call when you’re arrested.

2 weeks ago

arrest, arrested, call, communication, humor, ig, IG story, jail, life, media, modern, modern life, phone, phone call, should, social, social media, story
If I ever went to jail for murder, it would be for murdering my printer.

2 weeks ago

crime, ever, frustration, humor, i, jail, murder, printer, technology
There should be a Jaws sequel where the shark finally gets arrested for his crimes and goes to jail.

2 weeks ago

arrested, comedy, crimes, humor, jail, Jaws, movie, sequel, shark, should, where
I need to go to jail for a while to catch up on all my reading.

2 weeks ago

activity, catch, catch up, humor, i, irony, jail, need, reading, time
Mail is crazy because it’s like 99 pieces of straight up garbage and 1 that if you don’t reply to you’re going to jail.

2 weeks ago

anxiety, communication, crazy, garbage, going, jail, letter, mail, pieces, reply, straight

For even more funny jail quotes, hit next 👇

All funny jail quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on WeChat this month:

Instead of writing LOL, I’m going to start writing SALTS (smiled a little, then stopped). It’s more accurate.

62 shares on Reddit this month:

A good substitute for love and and personal fulfillment is a big bowl of fries.

93 shares on Facebook this month:

So, Earth is basically auditions for heaven and hell.

13 shares on X this month:

Viewing everyone’s stories like the morning paper.

41 shares on Pinterest this month:

Welcome to your 40s: you get tired from sleeping now.

71 shares on Reddit this month:

How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

100 shares on Threads this month:

We can’t all be underemployed creatives. Someone in the group chat needs to know what an insurance is.

20 shares on Messenger this month:

Reverse cowgirl is not a fair trade because, why do you get a view of my sexy back, and all I’m seeing are your toes throwing gang signs?

20 shares on Twitch this month:

You lose some, you lose some more.

27 shares on Messenger this month:

Start every meeting with, “Let’s just agree to disagree.”

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

We should all go into advertising and fix what’s going on with commercials. They need our help.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

January 1st: anything is possible. January 2nd: but not today.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I want a girlfriend so hot that people walking down the street know that I am funny.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulting means growing hair in places you’re not supposed to and losing hair in places you don’t want to.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

We need to stop making more Christmas music. We have enough.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

There are no laws against pineapples on pizza.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t worry. Artificial intelligence will never replace actual ignorance.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,618

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

When I write “I hope this email finds you well” I’m referring to the email’s skills in tracking you down.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

I’ve just learned terrible news. My department at work is planning a team-building retreat. Thank you for your thoughts during this difficult time.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

My wife almost fell down the stairs today and that got us into a heated argument whether my gasp was out of concern or excitement.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

After you’ve been married a long time, you become able to communicate nonverbally. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s why we never speak.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

“Still gangsta” I whisper to myself as I drink my chamomile tea with a heating pad on my back.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

The only narcissist I allow in my life is my cat.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

“Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have” is all well and good until you’re rocking a tutu.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Having a car is crazy cause you gotta take it to the car doctor.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

I’m starting to think that the secret to having a happy life is avoiding people.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Reddit:

Maybe somewhere in a parallel universe, I wake up feeling refreshed and energetic each day.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Pomegranates are worth the mess.

Just landed via Reddit:

I’ll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.

Trending via Twitch:

It ain’t easy being America’s sweetheart during these dark times, but someone gotta do it!

Seen just now on Pinterest:

The ‘b’ in ‘subtle’ totally is.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Today, I’m wearing pink to raise awareness for people like me who forget to separate their red laundry from their whites.

Going viral on YouTube:

Giant-sized bag of candy: I’m resealable. Me: That won’t be necessary.

Just landed via TikTok:

I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

Spotted on Slack:

God invented war so that Americans can learn geography.

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