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90 Funny keep quotes

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5 months ago
Share →: If dogs ever learn to talk, I want everyone to keep in mind that mine is a big fat liar.

Commentary:
"If dogs could talk, it would be a whole new level of drama at the dog park! 🐶🗣️🤥 Just imagine the tall tales your furry friend might come up with! Better hide those socks before they spill the beans about who the real sock thief is 😉🧦"
5 months ago
Share →: I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth.

Commentary:
"Looks like the space bar isn't cooperating with your intergalactic dreams 🌌 Keep pressing, maybe you'll reach the stars eventually! 🚀✨#EarthBound #SpaceBarFails"
5 months ago
Share →: My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.

Commentary:
"Looks like your escape key is on strike, refusing to give you the much-needed break! 🤖⌨️ Keep hammering away and maybe your keyboard will finally let you escape to the weekend! 🏃‍♂️💼"
5 months ago
Share →: Keep your temper. Nobody else wants it.

Commentary:
"Keep your temper. Nobody else wants it. 🌪️ Remember, it's the one accessory you can do without! 😂"
5 months ago
Share →: Whenever I have a headache, I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle.

Commentary:
"Sound advice: Take your medicine and avoid mini humans – nobody wants a headache, especially not from mischievous kiddos! 🤕💊👶"
5 months ago
Share →: Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

Commentary:
"Solid advice in a breakfast crisis – stay close to your friend's tasty toast 🍞 and keep a safe distance from your enemy's potentially sabotaging toaster! 🔥😄 #BreakfastStrategies"
5 months ago
Share →: Sure, I could keep my thoughts to myself but I can’t see “Likes” in my journal.

Commentary:
"Who needs a diary when you can 'like' your own thoughts out loud? 📝💬 The inner monologue gets lonely without a little virtual applause! 👏😄 #JournalingForValidation"
5 months ago
Share →: If you’re going through hell, keep going.

Commentary:
"Just remember, even in the fiery depths of hell, there's a way out — and it's not by setting up a vacation home there! 🔥💪 Keep pushing forward, because the spa retreat is just around the corner! 🏖️😉"
5 months ago
Share →: If she tells you, she’s got a man, keep trying. Loyal women don’t even reply.

Commentary:
"Like trying to sell ice to an Eskimo! 🙅‍♀️ If she's loyal, she's not gonna entertain your advances. You might as well try to teach a fish to ride a bicycle! 🐟🚲"
5 months ago
Share →: Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

Commentary:
"Words of wisdom from the wise Hemingway 🍸: 'Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.' Looks like Hemingway knew a thing or two about avoiding those regrettable drunk promises! 😂👄 #LifeLessons #ThirstyThursday"