Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: If you keep the house dark, not only do you save on electricity, but it also looks cleaner.

Commentary:
"Who needs lights when you can just blame the darkness for any mess? 🌚✨ It's like having a magic cleaning spell! 🧹✨ #PowerSavingGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: Only a fool would use the toothbrush the dentist gives you. You think the dentist would freely hand you the tools that would keep them away?

Commentary:
"Apparently, getting a toothbrush from the dentist is just a clever strategy to ensure we keep coming back for more dental adventures! 🦷🪥 Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, well, at least my oral health is in good hands! 😂"
6 months ago
Share →: I wish I was mysterious, but unfortunately I just can’t keep my mouth shut.

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle between wanting to be mysterious and the inability to filter our thoughts! 🤐 It's like trying to keep a lid on a pot of boiling pasta… you know it's gonna spill over eventually! 😜 Embrace your inner chatterbox, my friend – your honesty is the real mystery! 🤫✨"
6 months ago
Share →: Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

Commentary:
"Remember, it's all about toast priorities – share your friend's delicious toast while keeping a close eye on your enemy's toaster… just in case they try to burn it! 🔥🍞😄"
6 months ago
Share →: I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

Commentary:
"Ah, the rare art of being quiet at the right time! 🤐 Silence – the ultimate magnet of mystery and charm! Or maybe it's just that people find peace in your presence because you give their ears a break! 🤫"
6 months ago
Share →: Bison may look friend-shaped, but they already have all the friends they want. Keep your distance and don’t make it awkward.

Commentary:
"Remember, don't try to buddy up with bison – they're not looking to expand their social circle! 🐃✋ Better to let them roam in peace and avoid any awkward hoofshakes. 😉 #FriendzonedByBison"
6 months ago
Share →: How can vampires enjoy drinking our hot blood in the summer and other thoughts that keep me up at night.

Commentary:
"Imagine being a vampire, trying to enjoy a nice, refreshing summer drink, and all you can find is hot blood 🧛‍♂️🩸 I guess those nighttime thoughts are really sucking the life out of you! 😂 #VampireProblems"
6 months ago
Share →: I’m so old, I still keep special moments in my heart and not in my Insta story.

Commentary:
"Back in my day, we captured memories with hearts, not hashtags! 💖 Who needs Insta fame when you've got a heart full of special moments, am I right? 📸 #NostalgicHeart"
6 months ago
Share →: If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger.

Commentary:
"Keeping friends close and enemies at arm's length, just in case you need a good head squishing mime act! 🤏👤😂#SquishSquadGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: You can’t keep running away from your problems, you’re getting older and your kids are getting faster.

Commentary:
"Life's way of reminding you that adulting is not for the faint of heart! 🏃‍♂️⏩👨‍👧‍👦 Embrace the chaos, because those problems aren't getting any slower!"