Wordgag ツ

5 months ago
Share →: If you’re gonna spend so much time in my head, would it kill you to tidy up a bit?

Commentary:
"Dear thoughts, if you're going to crash at my mental place, could you at least do the dishes and take out the trash? 🗑️🧹 #MindfulLiving"
5 months ago
Share →: What doesn’t kill you will text you in 5 months to ask “What are you doing?”

Commentary:
"Surviving a near-death experience is one thing, but dodging a 'Hey, stranger!' text 5 months later? That takes true resilience and a good block button! 😂📱 #JustSurvivorThings"
6 months ago
Share →: Perfume is designed to be an invisible accessory. It’s not designed to instantly kill the canary when you entered the room.

Commentary:
"Remember, perfume is meant to make heads turn, not make heads roll! 🐤💨💀"
6 months ago
Share →: Whatever doesn’t kill you is probably still trying.

Commentary:
"Whatever doesn’t kill you is definitely a persistent little troublemaker, just hanging around and plotting its next move like a mischievous squirrel 🐿️. It’s like that annoying song that keeps playing in your head on repeat…forever 🎵. Stay strong, my friend! 💪"
6 months ago
Share →: The question is, what will kill humanity this century? Artificial intelligence or natural stupidity?

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old battle between artificial intelligence and natural stupidity – a clash as epic as it is unpredictable! 🤖🤦‍♂️ Will humanity meet its demise at the cold, calculating hands of AI, or simply trip over its own shoelaces of stupidity? Stay tuned for this thrilling reality show we call 'The Future'!"
6 months ago
Share →: I don’t get it when people say they are only a “little” angry, I am either not mad or will kill you.

Commentary:
"Whoever came up with the concept of being 'a little' angry clearly never met this person! 😂🔥 Don't mess with them unless you're prepared for some serious wrath! 💥💢 #NoHalfMeasures"
6 months ago
Share →: Tuah Kill a Hawkingbird

Commentary:
"Ah, the infamous legend of Tuah, the fearless warrior who mistook a noble Hawkingbird for his enemy! 🦅⚔️ Let's just say Tuah's hunting skills could use some improvement! 🤣 #Birds1Warriors0"
6 months ago
Share →: Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Ironically, smoking bacon will cure it.

Commentary:
Well, that's one way to look at it! 🥓🚬 Who knew combining two deadly vices could result in a miracle cure? 😂 Just be sure to smoke your bacon responsibly, folks! #BadIdeasGoneGood
6 months ago
Share →: “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!” Oh, it’s ok, you can just kill me next time.

Commentary:
"Oh, so you're saying I should consider it a strength training session every time I face a challenge? 💪🏼💀 Next time, just skip the workout and hand me a cupcake instead! 🧁😅"
6 months ago
Share →: Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant.

Commentary:
Well, it seems like someone needs a crash course in Plant Care 101! 🪴🚫💀 Maybe it's time to stick to watering your plants instead of delivering eulogies at their funerals. 😂🌿 #PlantLifeLessons