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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

It probably feels so good to ram your head into something as a cat.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

No show does a misunderstanding / miscommunication plot better than Modern Family does.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Chuck Norris passed his driving test on foot.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Santa doesn’t check the naughty list anymore, he just checks social media.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Dear food, either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Sometimes when I’m having a particularly stressful day, I take a pregnancy test to remind myself that at least one thing in my life is still going as planned.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

If my family starts talking politics at Thanksgiving, I’m changing the subject by announcing I’m pregnant.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

This year has been the perfect blend between me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence. For example: Jill ate her friend’s sandwich VS Jill ate her friend’s colon.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1834 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,996

Funny Quotes Topics

14,796

Funny Quotes Images

11,996

1 minute ago

3,455

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

Get married and have kids so that you can Google things like “How to teach your kid to not bite”.

Spotted on Snapchat:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I’ve sacrificed a sheep.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

People who pee in the shower, have you thought about peeing before you get in the shower?

Just shared via Facebook:

I am just a man, a man who told a woman to calm down, so I guess this is goodbye.

Making waves on Telegram:

Before you call me an idiot consider this: I know!

Going viral on Telegram:

You’re either really good at wrapping presents or you’re really beautiful and funny. It’s one or the other.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Anyone know how to grow a money tree?

Seen just now on YouTube:

The biggest first-world problem is having your favorite makeup product be discontinued.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Christmas is the season of giving, and I’m giving up for good.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Petition to make weekends longer. Two days isn’t enough.

Home » Funny Lateness Quotes

11 Funny lateness quotes

Funny lateness quotes 😂⏰ are the perfect way to turn those “running late” moments into laughs! Whether you’re a chronic snooze-button hitter or just love a good excuse, these witty sayings will have you smiling (and maybe forgiving yourself) every time the clock is against you. Ready to embrace your tardy side with some humor? Let’s dive into the funniest takes on being fashionably late! 🚶‍♂️⌛️😄

New funny lateness quotes 👇

2 days ago
Share →: Sorry, I’m late. I got caught up at home being happy.

Commentary:
When happiness holds you hostage, even alarms wave white flags! 😂⏰🏡
4 days ago
Share →: Sorry, I’m late. I was trying to convince a bathroom hand dryer that I exist.

Commentary:
I totally get it! Those hand dryers are more skeptical of my existence than my cat when I try to feed her something new. 🙆‍♂️🌀🐱
2 weeks ago
Share →: Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

Commentary:
Taking a casual stroll around the world for some me-time is totally relatable 🌍🚶‍♂️😅 Just don't forget your passport next time!
2 weeks ago
Share →: Sorry, I’m late. Time isn’t real, and I’m not convinced I am either.

Commentary:
"Finally embraced my inner unicorn on 'imaginary time,' but I couldn't make the meeting… or did I? 🦄⏰✨"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Sorry, I’m late. I found my old CD collection.

Commentary:
Sure thing! Here's a playful comment:

"Ah, lost in the nostalgic abyss of 90s tunes! 🎶😅 #TimeMachine"
3 weeks ago
Share →: Sorry, I’m late. My alarm didn’t go off because I didn’t set it, because I don’t want to be here.

Commentary:
"Running on 'wishful thinking' time ⏰😴🚀 #AlarmClockFail"
2 months ago
Share →: If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”

Commentary:
"When you're late but bribery is baked into your plan 🍰🕒😅 #CroissantDiplomacy"
2 months ago
Share →: Sorry, I’m late. I sat on my bed in a towel for 45 minutes, staring at the wall.

Commentary:
"Time flies when you're contemplating your towel life choices! 🚿🕒😂"
2 months ago
Share →: Sorry I’m late — I was standing in the shower, thinking about stuff.

Commentary:
"Brainstorming session went a little longer than expected! 🚿🧠🤔🌧️ #DeepThoughts"
2 months ago
Share →: Sorry I’m late. It’s just because of who I am as a person.

Commentary:
"Running on personality time! ⏰😅 #FashionablyLate"

For even more funny lateness quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny lateness quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1834 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,996

Funny Quotes Topics

14,796

Funny Quotes Images

11,996

1 minute ago

3,429

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Why waste words or gestures when a raised eyebrow is enough to make a statement?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

I hate when people ask me what I’m doing tomorrow, I don’t even know what I’m doing today.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Damn, all this overthinking and I still be making dumb decisions.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

They’re releasing another “Jurassic” movie. Let me guess: The dinosaurs get loose.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

As long as I can dip something in something, I’m happy.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

“God has a plan for you!” Okay, well, I have some notes for him.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

My home security system is just a copy of my paycheck taped to my front door.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

My toxic trait is that I expect people to have common sense, and I get mad when they don’t.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

First date idea: you rescue me out of the tree I got stuck in while looking through your windows.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

Overthinking should at least burn calories.

Just landed via Reddit:

Shoutout to drug dealers for teaching the metric system to Americans.

Spotted on Telegram:

I made all my money in the 80s selling Rubik’s Hammers. They were for those cubes that thought they were smarter than you.

Trending via WeChat:

Folding laundry is like packing to stay home.

Broadcasted on Discord:

The shower is the only one who gets turned on when I’m naked.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Lost another rap battle by just agreeing with everything the other guy said.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Don’t worry password, I’m insecure too.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I’m basically a taxi today for the kids and dogs.

Spotted on X:

Unfortunately, I don’t think before I speak, so l am just a shocked as you are.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Meow means woof in cat.

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