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21 Funny life lesson quotes

Tried to be a responsible adult today. Won’t be doing that again.

1 month ago

Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.

1 month ago

It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.

2 months ago

That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people.

2 months ago

Sometimes you just gotta say LOL and move on.

3 months ago

All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.

3 months ago

Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot.

3 months ago

This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone. But it will pass.

3 months ago

Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.

3 months ago

I have never in my life learned from another person’s mistakes, I would literally let a giant wooden horse into my house right this second.

3 months ago

Being an adult is when you ask the babysitter when you should be home.

3 months ago

Group projects in school weren’t meant to teach you teamwork, they were meant to teach you how to deal with the incompetence of your coworkers in the workplace.

3 months ago

Wisdom of the day: Don’t do anything you don’t want to explain to the paramedic.

3 months ago

The most important thing I learned in life, and I can’t stress enough, it doesn’t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that you’re really hot.

3 months ago

I am grateful for my experiences. I just didn’t need them all.

3 months ago

If you ever think you can solve a parenting problem by doing the opposite of what didn’t work last time, the universe will just be like “Lol, nice try, dummy!”

3 months ago

I’ve learned two important things in life, I can’t remember the first one, but the second one is to write everything down.

3 months ago

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

3 months ago

When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.

3 months ago

My kid is turning out just like me. Well played, karma. Well-played.

3 months ago