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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Village life is when you send two kids out to play and six kids come back hungry.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

I’m not saving daylight. I’m the one that needs saving.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

How I flirt? I look at an attractive person several times and hope that they are bolder than me.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Me in hell: “So did it hurt when you fell from heaven.” Lucifer: “Get out!”

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Sawing a hole in a table from underneath to steal a cake is a lot harder than cartoons would have you believe.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Too shy for influencing. Too dumb for crypto. Too honest for a scam. Too lazy for 9-5. How can I make money?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

I don’t remember if I took my pills, but I can’t check because I can’t remember where I put my glasses.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

You’d think the heat and humidity would steam some of the wrinkles out of my body.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Flirting with submissives is actually really easy. All you gotta do is send a gif of a small animal and say, ‘This is so you.’

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

There’s no sadder tableau in all of humanity than the smoker’s terrarium at the airport.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,413

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

The amount of people who “find God” after doing something evil needs to be studied.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I don’t get involved in anyone’s business, let alone their drama. You should try it.

Trending via TikTok:

You’re so cultured I’mma start calling you Yogurt.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I don’t drink and drive, but some people drive me to drink.

Spreading quickly via X:

You should never donate to people that collect money for marathons. They just take your money and run.

Spotted on Telegram:

All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

Going viral on Telegram:

Shoutout to all ladies dating silently without making noise on social media. May God give you another man as a bonus.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I’m running out of people I like.

Seen just now on YouTube:

How can people lift weights? My arms get tired just by putting my hair up in a ponytail.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

That feeling when it’s Friday, you blink once, and somehow it’s Monday again.

1409 Funny life quotes

More funny life quotes 👇

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

3 weeks ago

Earth, existential, humor, life, love, relationship, soulmate, wondering
I wanna be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have some new ideas.

3 weeks ago

14, again, change, humor, i, ideas, life, new, nostalgia, ruin, youth
I like to describe the difference between theory and practice with shopping lists and receipts.

3 weeks ago

comparison, describe, difference, everyday, everyday life, humor, i, life, list, practice, receipt, shopping, shopping list, theory
It goes like this: You are born and then you basically do almost everything wrong. Then you die.

3 weeks ago

birth, born, death, die, everything, humor, irony, life, mistakes, wrong
Every girl is defined by their one lost love. And by that I mean the one fast food item that was discontinued without warning, subsequently ruining their life.

3 weeks ago

discontinued, discontinued item, every, fast, fast food, food, food memory, girl, humor, i, item, life, life ruin, lost, lost love, love, mean, memory, nostalgia, ruin, ruining, warning
I could have been the favorite mistress of the Sun King at Versailles, but nooooooooo I had to be born into late stage capitalism.

3 weeks ago

born, capitalism, choices, disappointment, favorite, historical, historical reference, humor, i, irony, king, late, life, life choices, mistress, reference, stage, sun, Sun King, Versailles
You should be able to mute someone in real life. Annoying coworker? Silence them for 24 hours by booping them on the nose!

3 weeks ago

able, annoying, annoying coworker, booping, coworker, hours, humor, life, mute, nose, real, real life, should, silence, someone, workplace
I just come here for the free life advice and inspirational quotes from people who’s lives are complete train wrecks.

3 weeks ago

advice, complete, free, free advice, growth, here, humor, i, inspirational, inspirational quote, irony, just, life, life advice, people, personal, personal growth, self-help, train, train wreck, wreck
Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed over their chest because of the belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

3 weeks ago

activity, after, afterlife, belief, burial, buried, chest, fun, hands, humor, life, over, Pharaoh, slide, water, water slide
I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.

3 weeks ago

achievement, chair, comfort, going, humor, i, life, me, miles, office, office chair, productivity, sitting, work, work life

For even more funny life quotes, hit next 👇

All funny life quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on X this month:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had garlic bread?

91 shares on Twitch this month:

I know there are bigger problems in the world right now, but I’ve just realized I’ve never seen a baby seagull.

83 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Mom asked me what I was drinking the first time I got drunk and I said “breast milk” and now she’s not talking to me.

87 shares on Messenger this month:

If someone asks you why you’re single, just answer with: “Got lucky.”

11 shares on Telegram this month:

The word ‘stan’ comes from the Eminem song “Stan” which is about one of his obsessed fans. What if Eminem named the fan ‘Dennis’? We could be saying, “I dennis Beyonce.”

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

At the plastic surgeon: Please, Doc, help me. My Barbie doll has appendicitis.

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

Julia Garner most confusing name because it calls to mind both Julia Roberts and Jennifer Garner, but she is neither.

73 shares on Facebook this month:

I make sure to post my political opinions after my selfies have gone viral to cull the herd.

32 shares on Facebook this month:

Black Friday used to have heart. I wanna see someone get clocked for a Wii.

73 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s important to fuel your body with essential nutrients, which can be found in cookies, chips, and candy.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

I used to have a great future in my past.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Have we checked all food to see if exploding it makes it into something better or did we just stop with corn?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

My level of sarcasm’s gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Can I come over and figure you out?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

I wish companies would use pictures of models looking frazzled and exhausted on their websites, so I can get a real idea of what their clothes will look like on me.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Forgetting your phone at home is the modern equivalent of leaving your sword behind in medieval times.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

You should be allowed to call out of work if you have a really bad nightmare.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Why is nobody questioning the quietness of the cosmos?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Socks try to be monogamous, but most end up either single or having multiple different partners.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

If porn damages your brain, and writing develops your brain, does writing porn even it out?

Spotted on Telegram:

He’s a 10, but it’s the pain scale.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

It’s okay to feed your car a curb, as a little treat sometimes.

Just landed via Twitch:

Bok Choy is a dope name for a vegetable.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

My body is a machine that turns pizza into diarrhea.

Trending via Reddit:

I don’t know who is writing my story, but they got to throw in a win somewhere or put the pen down. I need a break.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Whoever named them fitting rooms has a lot of nerve.

Going bananas on Discord:

That “meeting canceled” ping is a gift from the Gods.

Making waves on Reddit:

Some people are like wallpaper… same pattern repeating every time.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Hey man, be careful on the trampoline, one of my buddies never came back down.

Activity Log ✨

1409 Funny life quotes

More funny life quotes 👇

All funny life quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨