127 Funny man quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: The inventor of archery: Man, I really wanna stab that guy over there.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the inventor of archery had quite the direct approach to conflict resolution! 🏹😄 Seems like 'stabbing' was the original inspiration for the bow and arrow! 🎯😆"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the age-old conundrum of wanting what one can't have 🤓💍 Don't worry ladies, the intelligent men are too busy pondering the mysteries of the universe to worry about changing their facebook status to married! 😉🌌

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  5 months ago

  Share →: It’s awkward touching hands with another man inside a popcorn bag, especially if you don’t know the man and he doesn’t know you’re eating his popcorn.

  Commentary:
  "Popcorn dilemma: Sharing hands or sharing popcorn? 🍿😄 Either way, make sure you know whose fingers you're reaching for in that buttery sea of snacks! #AwkwardMoments"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Toys R Us went out of business because their mascot was a stupid giraffe when it could’ve been a toy dinosaur called the Toysaurus. It was right there man.

  Commentary:
  "Talk about a missed opportunity! 🦒🦖 Toys R Us really missed the mark by not capitalizing on the potential of a toy dinosaur mascot named Toysaurus. They could've been roaring back into business! 🦕💔 #DinosaurVsGiraffe"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: When I say I like when older men tell me what to do, I am talking about Yoda and his teachings.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, wise Yoda, the ultimate older man 🌟 When seeking guidance, who needs a sugar daddy when you've got a Jedi master? 🧙‍♂️ May the Force be with you as you navigate life's ups and downs, young Padawan! 🌌 #YodaWisdom"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Hit my coworker with “you’re a lucky man” after I saw a picture of his wife just to let him know that I want to sleep with her.

  Commentary:
  Hmm, I hope your coworker didn't take that comment as a job application! 🙈 Remember, it's all fun and games until HR gets involved! 😂 #OfficeShenanigans

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  5 months ago

  Share →: The man who invented autocorrect walks into a barn. He orders a bear.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the irony of modern technology meets wilderness! 🐻🤖 One can only imagine the autocorrected text message "I'll have a bear, not beer, please" 🍺. In a bizarre twist of fate, the inventor finds himself face to face with a furry mammal instead of a chilled drink. Autocorrect strikes again, this time in the real world! 🤯

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  5 months ago

  Share →: If you give a man a fish, that fish is basically gone. Way to lose your fish.

  Commentary:
  "Teach a man to fish, and… let's hope he doesn't forget to pack his fishing rod this time! 🎣 Don't leave your fishy fate in the hands of forgetfulness, folks! 🐠"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: The only time your man will surprise you is when you specifically tell him what you want.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the great mystery of men… It's like playing a game of charades where you have to shout out the answer before they even make a move! 🤷‍♀️💡 But hey, who needs surprises when you've got clear communication, am I right ladies? 😂💁‍♀️"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: If I’d married a wealthier man, I’d be lying on a fancier couch right now refusing to clean bigger rooms.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs bigger rooms to clean when you can just hire someone to do it for you? 😆💰 #RichWifeGoals"

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