Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

I use karate strictly as a last resort, after I’ve exhausted fleeing and screaming.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

We were never supposed to have this much access to stupid people’s thoughts, beliefs, and opinions.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Let’s call it a year. I’ve had enough. Merry Christmas, y’all.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

When you tickle a man to death by accident, it is manslaughter.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Moment of silence for those who received mugs that aren’t microwave- and dishwasher-safe.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

I see why history can repeat itself. People are really stupid.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Girlfriend is temporary, ex-girlfriend is forever.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Are you coming to the party? There will be noise and lights but I found a corner for us to hide.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

It’s difficult to play hard to get when I’m already hard to want.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,544

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

My soulmate is chocolate cake.

Seen just now on Discord:

Whoever came up with “penny for your thoughts,” “don’t nickel and dime me,” and “another day another dollar” sure knew how to coin a phrase.

Going viral on Pinterest:

If your wife uses “I” it means she will be doing something. “We” means you will be.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Oligarchy sounds like something you dip your breadstick in at the olive garden.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Throwing a spear at your enemy is a bad gamble. If you miss, you have no spear now and he’s just fine. He’s better than fine; now he has a spear.

Spotted on WeChat:

And where did Mr. Pepper receive his degree from exactly?

Seen just now on Twitch:

I think I just hit a Labubu with my car.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

How inappropriate is it to ask a stranger to scratch your back? Need to know ten minutes ago.

Just landed via YouTube:

Funny thing about zombie movies – they never seem to go after the cameraman.

Breaking via Twitch:

Maybe in another life, I’m a spoiled nepo baby — jobless and doing nothing but shopping all day with my equally nepotised friends.

12 Funny monster quotes

Funny monster quotes bring a spooky twist to your day with a dash of laughter 👹😂 Whether you’re a fan of quirky creatures or just love a good chuckle from the creepy side, these hilarious sayings will make monsters less scary and way more fun! 🎃👾 Get ready to giggle at the quirks of these playful beasts and add some monstrous humor to your feed! 🧟‍♂️🤣

New funny monster quotes 👇

For even more funny monster quotes, hit next 👇

All funny monster quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Relationship status: my last pickpocket had really gentle hands.

18 shares on TikTok this month:

ADHD is: being pretty good at basically anything you want to be, and absolutely terrible at anything you need to do to live.

86 shares on Threads this month:

Don’t scare me, I fart easily.

52 shares on Messenger this month:

If I’m too much for you, then go and find less.

40 shares on Messenger this month:

Oh no, we don’t go in there. That room belongs to the spiders.

96 shares on Twitch this month:

Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

73 shares on LinkedIn this month:

App idea: couples upload their arguments. The internet votes on who was right.

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When I get tired of shopping, I sit down and try on shoes.

86 shares on YouTube this month:

Who wants to do all my adult stuff for me today?

25 shares on Messenger this month:

You cannot hurt me. You are not a hip-height table corner.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand why it isn’t socially acceptable to choose to be nocturnal. The angry hot sky ball is gone, my internet is fast, everyone finally shut up, what’s not to like.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I just love the lack of privacy in the pharmacy line. Just standing there shouting out my name, date of birth, and exactly what is wrong with me for the world to hear.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Waking up early is always beneficial. You just gotta make it past those first 10 minutes of being irritated.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Had a shower and put on clean pajamas. It was a productive day.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls … I understood why they advise us to get married and have kids before 25. Because after that, our brain starts working, and the decision won’t seem so reasonable anymore.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Why can’t hackers just delete everyone’s bad debt, credit, and mortgages?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Happiness is an inside job.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Went for a run this morning. That bee was huge!

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve cooked for men I should have poisoned, so yeah, I do have self-control.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing in a household is said more lovingly than, “Can you bring me some toilet paper?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,340

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

When I die, throw me on Mount Everest so it looks like I was trying to do something.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

This entire year has been the Nightmare Before Christmas.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

I think Australians should have to go three rounds in the ring with a kangaroo before they eat him.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Can we start the weekend again? I wasn’t ready.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Age regressing by coughing like a toddler, with my tongue out.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Every year I realize how dumb I was a year ago.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

In banana years, I am bread.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Getting sent money you didn’t ask for is very sexy.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

Al guys are like, “We can’t use it to cure cancer, but we can suck all the joy and purpose out of life so that dying isn’t sad.”

Just landed via Threads:

You know who’s gonna love you in the end? Your dog.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Oh, gross. I didn’t know there was protein in this powder. I was only drinking it for the lead.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I assume people who bookmark my posts are building a case against me.

Seen just now on Reddit:

God saw you do that.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I’m always in a rush to go home, and do absolutely nothing.

Just shared via Reddit:

Don’t ever forget where you came from. That’s where you left your car.

Going bananas on Twitch:

When someone has “Do Not Disturb” on, it’s like, oh, okay, I didn’t realize the great philosopher was in their hour of seclusion. Pardon me for even daring to enter their precious mind palace.

Just landed via Messenger:

Bro, you will never rewatch that 7-minute video you took of fireworks. Just live in the moment.

Making waves on Instagram:

You haven’t experienced proper anger until you have a sister.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴