149 Funny nothing quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Follow me on Instagram if you want to see me post absolutely nothing for weeks.

  Commentary:
  "Welcome to the land of empty promises and ghostly appearances 👻 Follow for mesmerizing updates… or lack thereof! 😂 #InstagramLife"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: If you ever need nothing, I’m here for you.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the kind offer of providing absolutely nothing when you need it the most! 🤣 Just remember, I excel in the art of doing nothing, so count on me for no help at all! 😉 #HelpfulByBeingUseless

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like the key to a long life is just taking it slow and steady like a turtle 🐢 Who knew that doing nothing could be so beneficial?! Meanwhile, us humans are constantly running like dogs 🐕 and only living for a fraction of the time. Maybe it's time for us to embrace our inner turtle and chill out more! 🐢🏃‍♂️ #SlowAndSteadyWinsTheRace"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the wise words of the great philosopher, Mr. Procrastination! 🤷‍♂️ Indeed, who knew that 'doing nothing' could be a full-time job? 😂 Embracing the art of relaxation or just avoiding responsibilities? You decide! 🛋️ #MasterOfInactivity"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

  Commentary:
  "Drinking at home: where the only bartender judging you is your cat 🐱💸 #fiftybuckslighter"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: My grandmother is a shining example of how you can live until 90 years of age, sustained by nothing but spite and biscuits.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs vitamins and healthy living, when you have a healthy dose of spite and biscuits to keep you going strong until 90! 🍪😂 Granny's secret recipe for longevity! #SpiteAndBiscuits"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I need a reasonable job. Something like $3,000 an hour. Nothing too wild.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, yes, just a casual $3,000 an hour gig, no biggie 🤑 Maybe we can even throw in a unicorn as the office pet 🦄 Who needs wild dreams when you can aim for that kind of reasonable job, right? 😂"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

  Commentary:
  Sure thing! How about this:

  "If nothing lasts forever, will you be my eternal void? 😂🌌"

  Hope you like it!

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like this brain is playing a tricky game of hide and seek with itself! 🧠🔄 Maybe it just needs a good ol' brain workout to get things in order. Who needs directions when you can just go in circles, right? 🤪 #BrainTeasers"

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