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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Shoutout to everyone who remembers their childhood landline number but can’t recall the password they made yesterday. You’re my people.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

The most annoying child in our house is that of my mother-in-law.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Never underestimate the healing power of a grilled cheese sandwich.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

I’m not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Grammar is important. It’s the difference between feeling your nuts and feeling you’re nuts.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

“How am I supposed to avoid Al when I’ve procrastinated on a paper?” With a night full of caffeine and nicotine like your forefathers, you babies.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Given the amount of clowns around here, you’d think it would be more entertaining.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Dads were right. Walking around with your hands behind your back and looking at everything around with a mild look of disgust and annoyance is so much fun.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

“Because my hair is not done” is a very valid reason to decline an outing.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

James Bond really accurately predicted that the biggest threat to life on Earth is super-rich businessmen, whose money didn’t make them happy, and now their hobby is destroying the world.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,395

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

If you’re a man and don’t feel well or are going through something tough, just remember no one cares.

Shared recently on Discord:

Today I choose kindness, but we’ll see, it’s still early.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Don’t listen to them, little password. You are strong.

Spotted on X:

It whistles, doesn’t it? Your head when it’s windy.

Spotted on Threads:

I honestly have no idea what a vitamin is. It’s in a banana but it’s also the sun? Sure.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

Seen just now on Facebook:

If chickens knew how good they tasted, they would understand.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I have re-entered the Band of Brothers rewatch stage of male depression.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

If I sing “Hello” and you think of “Lionel Richie” and not “Adele,” then you can probably predict the weather with one of your knees.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I used to question authority, but now I question everything.

105 Funny parents quotes

More funny parents quotes 👇

Welcome to your parents’ house, where the wifi password is fEtbqP2LVp3U6Hkh

3 weeks ago

family, home, house, humor, parents, password, technology, welcome, where, wifi
When I was little, I didn’t care what I wore. I just went along with what my parents chose. When I look in old photo albums, l realize that they didn’t care either.

3 weeks ago

album, along, care, childhood, fashion, humor, i, just, little, memory, nostalgia, old, parents, photo, photo album, realize, self-expression
When I was a kid, there were two ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

3 weeks ago

back, cause, childhood, die, discipline, family, humor, i, kid, natural, natural cause, parents, talking, talking back
Legos are too expensive nowadays. They should go back to costing as much as they did when my parents paid for them.

3 weeks ago

back, childhood, expensive, Lego, much, nostalgia, paid, parents, pricing, should, too, toys, value
My parents told me I could be anything I wanted so I became unacceptable.

3 weeks ago

anything, expectations, humor, i, identity, me, parents, self-deprecation, told, unacceptable, wanted
The first thing you learn to draw in art school is money from your parents bank account.

3 weeks ago

account, art, art school, bank, bank account, draw, financial, financial support, humor, learn, life, money, parents, school, student, student life, support, thing
If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

3 weeks ago

cause, confusion, cousin, family, gatherings, humor, interaction, lot, parents, party, partying, relationship, sibling, social, social interaction
There should be a special rating system for movies that tells you how uncomfortable you’ll be if you watch them with your parents.

3 weeks ago

family, humor, movie, parents, rating, should, special, special system, system, uncomfortable, watch
As parents we have to make sacrifices all the time. Today, I had to eat my kid’s ice cream because she couldn’t finish it.

3 weeks ago

cream, eat, finish, food, humor, i, ice, ice cream, kid, kids, parenting, parents, sacrifices, time, today
I wanna meet the person whose parents are super disappointed he went to medical school instead of becoming a stand-up comedian.

3 weeks ago

career, career choice, choice, comedian, disappointment, humor, i, medical, medical school, meet, parents, person, school, stand-up, stand-up comedian, super

For even more funny parents quotes, hit next 👇

All funny parents quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on Facebook this month:

The next man who speaks to me will be sacrificed to the gods for a bountiful harvest.

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

Forget about “long story short”… I’m gonna start saying “short story long,” and take you on a journey you didn’t ask for.

48 shares on Instagram this month:

Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.

84 shares on Instagram this month:

I highly recommend getting yourself a “How can I help” partner and not a “You will be fine” partner.

34 shares on TikTok this month:

Some things are better left unsaid, unless you’re on X.

52 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My fairytale would be called the princess and the pea sized bladder.

41 shares on Facebook this month:

First date idea: we walk around a graveyard and guess how people died.

57 shares on Facebook this month:

Google Maps should not count towards my screen time. I’m not addicted to my phone, I’m disoriented.

47 shares on Slack this month:

I’m busy watching the vegan couple next door arguing about the Big Mac wrapper I hid in their trash can.

59 shares on TikTok this month:

If I buy the circus, the monkey will be the manager.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Setting up a camera to go and pretend you just woke up from bed is another level of mental illness.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

In my years of experience, people who disagree with me are usually wrong.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

My fairytale would be called the princess and the pea sized bladder.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

The amount of inappropriate thoughts I have is a little concerning.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

We need a Disney princess who’s a greedy profiteer, so we can cheer for the poison apple.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food, and all I find is ingredients.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

If you see me looking zoned out, it’s because I’m having a therapy session with myself in my head.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

I become someone I don’t recognize when I play Monopoly.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Taylor Swift should write a song about people who don’t return their shopping carts to the corrals.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

I love when I come home, I put on my Adam Sandler clothes.

Shared recently on Messenger:

At the gym, everyone thinks exclusively about how little weight I can lift and how quickly I’m out of breath, because the world revolves around me.

Going viral on WeChat:

“You’re always drinking wine!” God forbid a girl enjoys the first miracle of Jesus.

Just landed via Reddit:

Phones are wild… we really just sit around tapping glass all day.

Spreading quickly via X:

The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

Making waves on Facebook:

The meeting of the Anonymous Pessimists was canceled. It wouldn’t have helped anyway.

Going bananas on Discord:

I have a very particular set of useless skills.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

You’ve agreed to go out with me, so that’s going to immediately count against you.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I’m at that age where I can no longer refer to other people as “elderly.”

Activity Log ✨

105 Funny parents quotes

More funny parents quotes 👇

All funny parents quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨