36 Funny performance quotes

• Odd—my boss told me to meet him at the abandoned quarry at midnight for my performance evaluation.

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  2 months ago

  abandoned, abandoned quarry, boss, evaluation, funny situation, humor, me, meet, meeting, midnight, odd, odd request, performance, performance evaluation, quarry, request, situation, told, unusual, unusual meeting, work, work humor

• Who can better express pain and grief and misery than a man with a harmonica?

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  2 months ago

  art, better, emotion, express, expression, grief, harmonica, humor, man, melancholy, music, pain, performance

• You can fake a smile, but you can’t fake jazz hands.

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  2 months ago

  dancing, expression, fake, hand, hands, humor, jazz, jazz hand, performance, smile

• Website: We use cookies to improve our performance. Me: Same!

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  2 months ago

  cookie, humor, performance, self-deprecation, tech, tech humor, website

• Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time.

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  2 months ago

  awkwardness, funny moment, humor, just, karaoke, moment, motionless, panther, performance, pink, Pink Panther, song, stage, standing, theme, theme song, time

• Once again, I was not nominated for an Oscar this morning for acting my way through life.

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  2 months ago

  acting, again, awards, drama, humor, i, life, morning, nomination, once, Oscar, performance, self-deprecation

• Imagine hating me and I’m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to ‘In The Air Tonight’.

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  2 months ago

  air, air-drum, confidence, doing, epic, fun, hate, here, humor, imagine, just, me, music, over, performance, solo, tonight

• Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug. But you’re not gonna like the performance.

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  2 months ago

  actually, alcohol, drug, enhancement, expectations, humor, irony, performance

• Rather than touching grass, I recommend going to a concert and experiencing the live performance of that one song you hold religiously close to your heart.

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  2 months ago

  activity, close, concert, experience, fun, fun activity, going, grass, heart, hold, i, live, live performance, music, performance, recommend, song, touching

• Bands are always like “here’s another song”. Yeah, no shit, that’s pretty much all you do.

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  2 months ago

  always, another, band, entertainment, humor, much, music, performance, pretty, sarcasm, shit, song

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