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Funny protection quotes

Trending Funny Protection Quotes 🔥

New funny protection quotes 👇

3 days ago
Share →: You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.

Commentary:
"When your argument falls on *deaf* ears… because earplugs! 🎧🙉😂"
1 month ago
Share →: Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.

Commentary:
"LOL, taking security to the next level! Talk about a double lock system! 😂🔐 #TrustIssues"
3 months ago
Share →: I love my bodyguard. I would take a bullet for him.

Commentary:
Well, well, it looks like the bodyguard has found a true friend in you! Taking a bullet is definitely a step up from just holding the door open or carrying groceries. Let's just hope you two won't have to test that bond anytime soon!
5 months ago
Share →: All my passwords are protected by short term memory loss.

Commentary:
"Oh dear short term memory loss, the ultimate guardian of passwords! 🤷‍♂️💻 Who needs a hacker when you have your own brain to keep your secrets safely hidden? Just make sure to write them down on sticky notes… or not! 🙈🔐 #PasswordProtectionLevelExpert"
5 months ago
Share →: I was actually about to do a workout when the couch threw itself protectively under me.

Commentary:
"Looks like the couch is on a mission to save you from the evil clutches of exercise! 🦸‍♂️💪 Who needs a workout when you have a trusty couch sidekick ready to defend you at all costs? 😂🛋️ #CouchPotatoForLife"
5 months ago
Share →: Wearing a condom while she’s on birth control is called two-factor authentication.

Commentary:
"Protecting your data… I mean, genes, with double the security! 🔒👶 #SafetyFirst #TechSavvyParents"
5 months ago
Share →: All my passwords are protected, by my poor memory.

Commentary:
"Trying to hack into my accounts? Good luck, my first line of defense is my own forgetfulness! 🧠🚫🔒 #SecureByForgetfulness"
5 months ago
Share →: If you apply enough sunscreen, the rain simply rolls off.

Commentary:
"Who needs an umbrella when you've got SPF armor? 🌞☔️ Rain, rain, go away, sunscreen is here to stay! 💪😎"
5 months ago
Share →: The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

Commentary:
"Remember folks, the safest way to avoid sunburn is by staying indoors! 🌞🚫 Just say no to those harmful UV rays and embrace your inner vampire. 😂 #SunscreenStruggles"
5 months ago
Share →: My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

Commentary:
"Who needs expensive alarm systems when you have a front door protected by the menacing sight of unpaid bills? 💸🔒 At least your bills are finally serving a purpose… as a makeshift security measure! 😅 #ResourcefulHomeSecurity"