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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

I suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes it look like you’re an angry serial killer.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Gay? We don’t use that word anymore. Person of rainbow.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

I don’t need a fancy watch to tell me I’m not fit one bit.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

People always love to claim that a celebrity’s death is “unexpected”, but they never actually release the data on which celebrities they expected to die that day.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Nobody watches you harder than people who don’t like you, so give them a show they will never forget.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Saw an article on “100 things to do before you die.” Was surprised Call 911 didn’t make the list.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

A driver that delivers Indian food is called a curryer.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Most men will receive their first bunch of flowers at their funeral.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Gnocchi: The small, chubby children of spaghetti and potatoes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

771 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,933

Funny Quotes Topics

13,906

Funny Quotes Images

10,933

Updated

11 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via LinkedIn:

The only things that are really cool in my company are my salary and me.

Reported on Instagram:

Life on other planets be like: “I hope those lunatics don’t discover us!”

Seen just now on Threads:

“PTO” stands for “prepare the others” because you’re not gonna be there.

Reported on Snapchat:

Hey, are you an aurora borealis or why am I waiting in vain for you to appear?

Broadcasted on Threads:

Of course I have critical thinking skills, I’m thinking critically of you right now.

Making waves on Messenger:

In the future, there will be grandmas who can’t bake but have tattoos on their backs.

Seen just now on WeChat:

When there’s food around, our cat is like an adorable, fluffy shark circling round.

Seen just now on Facebook:

My yoga instructor was drunk today. Put me in a very awkward position.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I just want what every middle-aged person wants: to remember what it was that I wanted.

Seen just now on Slack:

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

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62 Funny school quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

771 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,933

Funny Quotes Topics

13,906

Funny Quotes Images

10,933

Updated

11 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

I want to be a garbage man, so I only have to work one day a week.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Girl, are you an Uber driver? Because you are driving me to drink.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

How great is it to do absolutely nothing and follow it up by taking a rest.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Sorry I can’t come today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and it was tragic.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Jealous that my phone can just die for a little while.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

We are so shocked by “Butthead” that we ignore the strangeness of the name “Beavis”.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer the term selective participation.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Accidentally wore a blue shirt to Walmart and now I’m in the stockroom showing Sue how to use the forklift.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

I wonder if people that fall asleep right away know that we hate them.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

Never vacuuming so I don’t disrupt my carpet’s natural micro biome.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’m not actively avoiding you. I don’t actively do anything.

Making waves on Discord:

Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.

Spotted on Instagram:

I need a chiropractor for my brain.

Making waves on Messenger:

My co-workers found out when my birthday is so now I need to find a new job.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I would like to have the peace of mind of a cow. I already have the body.

Making waves on X:

Stop using ChatGPT. I can feed you misinformation too and I’m also beautiful and funny sometimes.

Spotted on Slack:

The golden rule of three beverages: one to hydrate, one to caffeinate, and one to celebrate.

Seen just now on WeChat:

An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

Shared recently on WeChat:

I bought a 12 year old whiskey. His parents are furious.

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