Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Saving on divorce lawyers by staying single.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Took a break from Twitter for my mental health, so I’d figure I’d come back to ruin it again.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

If it turns cold one more time, I’m gonna put the Christmas tree back up.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

The state of my house can best be described as “there seems to have been a struggle”.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Feeling weird from my cookie-based diet.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

At least men and women can agree on one thing: it feels amazing to take a bra off.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

First date idea: we walk around a graveyard and guess how people died.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Dollar Tree need to just go ahead and change the name to Tree of Unexpected Prices.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Hate Google’s Gemini. If I wanted to get misinformation from a Gemini, I’d talk to my mother.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Five out of six people find Russian Roulette to be a safe activity.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 19, 2026

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

One minute you’re young and carefree. The next minute you can feel in your knee when it starts to rain.

Spotted on Snapchat:

The miracle of DoorDash is that I just pick up my phone, punch a few things into it, and within half an hour I have, at my door, a $52 salad.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

What’s wrong, babe? You hardly touched your own advice you give to others.

Shared recently on Facebook:

The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

Trending via YouTube:

Life so stupid, I just want a burger and to be held.

Making waves on Telegram:

If barking at nothing was an Olympic sport, my dog would win gold.

Trending via Reddit:

If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

Breaking via Facebook:

When my wife packs for a trip she basically moves out.

Going viral on Threads:

If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Your future doctor is using ChatGPT to pass med school so you better start eating healthy.

16 Funny teacher quotes

Funny teacher quotes add a dose of humor to the often intense world of education! 🍎😂 From witty observations about classroom antics to playful jabs at the challenges of teaching, these quotes capture the lighter side of the profession. Dive into the funny side of education and enjoy a laugh with these humorous takes on the life of a teacher! 😄📚

New funny teacher quotes 👇

Can’t believe I spent so many years of my life asking teachers if I was allowed to use the bathroom, and sometimes be told no. What the hell?

2 months ago

allowed, asking, authority, bathroom, believe, childhood, hell, i, life, memory, permission, school, sometimes, spent, teacher, told
I knew school was a scam when my business teacher didn’t own a business, and my PE teacher was fat.

2 months ago

business, business teacher, education, fat, humor, i, irony, own, pe, PE teacher, physical, physical education, scam, school, teacher, weight
Is it okay for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school, or am I just a terrible teacher?

2 months ago

am, drinking, drinking habit, habit, humor, i, joke, just, kid, kids, me, okay, parenting, school, soon, start, teacher, terrible
Sorry, can’t. I’m currently nodding in class so the teacher doesn’t feel sad.

2 months ago

boredom, class, excuse, feel, humor, nodding, pretending, sad, sorry, student, teacher
I’ve learned my lesson so many times that I could be a teacher.

2 months ago

experience, humor, i, irony, learned, learning, lesson, sarcasm, teacher, teaching, times
I hate when teachers put “?” on my work, like I don’t know either.

2 months ago

education, frustration, hate, humor, i, irony, know, put, question, school, teacher, work
Be nice to your children’s teachers. Especially elementary ones, cause kids have loose lips and that teacher has all the dirt on you.

2 months ago

advice, children, dirt, elementary, humor, kids, lip, loose, loose lip, nice, parenting, teacher
I handed in my exam blank so that the teacher has more time to celebrate Christmas with her family.

2 months ago

blank, celebrate, celebration, Christmas, exam, family, handed, humor, i, procrastination, teacher, time
A lot of y’all don’t understand politics because your history teacher was the football coach.

2 months ago

coach, education, football, history, humor, lot, misunderstanding, politics, teacher, understand
The world needs to chill out. There’s no way future history teachers can cram all this nonsense into a semester.

2 months ago

chill, future, history, needs, nonsense, semester, teacher, world

For even more funny teacher quotes, hit next 👇

All funny teacher quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on Reddit this month:

If she says “so just what exactly is THAT supposed to mean”, you’re gonna have a bad time.

44 shares on Discord this month:

I miss the way I viewed the world before I found out too much about it.

100 shares on X this month:

If we “talk,” you ain’t single. We’re in a pending relationship. You’re in the cart.

53 shares on TikTok this month:

When I’m not posting or returning messages, just know that I’m probably out doing superhero shit.

51 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s awkward touching hands with another man inside a popcorn bag, especially if you don’t know the man and he doesn’t know you’re eating his popcorn.

39 shares on TikTok this month:

Building a snowman so I can punch it in the face.

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Not the sharpest cheddar on the charcuterie board.

87 shares on Telegram this month:

You can’t boss me around. You’re not my bladder.

40 shares on Discord this month:

I accidentally said “large” instead of “venti” at Starbucks and now the cops are here.

18 shares on Twitch this month:

We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

One day you’ll find someone obsessed with you. It’s probably going to be a squirrel.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Bro, did you really just mix up e.g. and i.e. in front of the hoes?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel like my greatest accomplishment today has been not saying what I’m thinking out loud.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If you love me, please don’t ask me to go camping with you.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Breaking news is really breaking me.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I will never forget how to spell bananas, thanks to Gwen Stefani.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

We need a holiday at the end of every summer that honours all the women who wore sundresses.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The longest and most adventurous journeys begin with the words: “I know a shortcut.”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Every few months, the urge to eat buttered toast will possess you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,732

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

A cheat code to adulting is to always have something to look forward to, no matter how small or big.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

25 is the new 0 years old.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

They’re making me do work at work.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

I hope we’re good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

A large group of people is called an “eww, no thank you”

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Every time my neighbors start moaning, I pause my music to rate the performance.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

I mostly stopped responding to emails three years ago, and aside from various consequences, it’s been fine.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

The Recipe for Disaster in me, recognizes the Appetite for Destruction in you.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

You’re a ghost driving a meat-coated skeleton made from stardust, riding a rock, hurtling through space. Fear nothing.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

Nose so runny it just signed me up for a 10k.

Just shared via Instagram:

“What’s your 5-year plan?” I’ll probably go to the movies next week, I think.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

If anyone wants to sponsor me, I’ll be running a 0.002K this weekend to raise awareness for laziness.

Going viral on TikTok:

I sign all anniversary cards with ‘Way to commit to the bit!’

Going viral on Discord:

Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.

Going viral on Twitch:

Do you all introverts ever open a text and think, ‘I’ll reply when I have the energy,’ and then it’s three weeks, and you have to live with the guilt of being a horrible friend.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Never trust a wet fart.

Freshly posted on X:

I hate apps that shut off your music when you open them, like how fu*king important do you think you are?

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can’t eat anything when I’m asleep!

Freshly posted on Slack:

All the wrong decisions in this country are based on the fact that my balcony faces out the back and so I can’t speak to the people.

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Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴