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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

When people give me directions and they’re like “you can’t miss it,” I’m like, “Oh, you do not know what I’m capable of.”

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Never understood when the movie rating says “May contain nudity.” Are there people on the ratings board who aren’t sure if they just saw someone naked?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Wish my metabolism worked as fast as my anxiety.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

This weekend was so busy, I hardly had time to sit around in my pajamas and doom scroll.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

What would boomers do without their paper shredder?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

I don’t know why “you made your bed now lie in it” is a bad thing. It sounds great! I’ll even lie in a bed I didn’t make.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Whatever happened calorically this weekend can never happen again.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

I try to contain my craziness, but the lid keeps popping off.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

People who pee in the shower, have you thought about peeing before you get in the shower?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1837 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,999

Funny Quotes Topics

14,798

Funny Quotes Images

11,999

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

Sometimes I want to sleep, but my brain decides to do a little tap dance through every mistake I’ve ever made, instead.

Trending via Telegram:

I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.

Just shared via YouTube:

Flirting back when you’re bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Just landed via X:

If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all: I watched Rebel Moon 2 and the Netflix app worked well. Showed me the entire movie. In color.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I had a hard time coping with the divorce. I’m fine now, but at first I was almost crazy with joy.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

My life is ruined. I wish to live no more. Never mind, I found the remote.

Seen just now on X:

Shaved my bush and went down a pants size.

Spotted on X:

When you drink red wine from a cup, it looks like fruit tea and you are also admired by others for your healthy lifestyle.

Trending via Instagram:

Stop worrying about being weird and start being weirder.

Spotted on Reddit:

I thrive in a waiting room. You need me to sit in a chair and look at my phone? No worries, love, I do this at home.

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112 Funny thinking quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1837 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,999

Funny Quotes Topics

14,798

Funny Quotes Images

11,999

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

I didn’t know that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I wasn’t on that job.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

I don’t need Halloween. I have strange characters around me all year round.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

How am I supposed to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

If “live each day as if it’s your last” means being paralyzed with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, then I am absolutely nailing it.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

I think I’ll just sit here and waste oxygen all day.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

I hate the saying: “Get up, the sun is shining!” What am I supposed to do? Photosynthesis?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

You’re all using your crystals wrong. Put them in a sock and start swinging.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

If you like Christmas so much, why don’t you merry it?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

Please don’t ever speak to me about math. I’ve moved on.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

As long as I can dip something in something, I’m happy.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I don’t know when people started calling hot dogs ‘glizzys,’ but I hate it, and you all need to stop immediately.

Shared recently on Slack:

Twitter is an abusement park.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I can’t believe I slept good all night. What a rush.

Seen just now on Telegram:

In my 20’s: might hit the club tonight. In my 40’s: might go to the grocery store to listen to some bangers.

Just shared via Slack:

There are two types of people in the world, those who have to go to Walmart, and those who get to go to Walmart.

Trending via X:

Just found out it don’t matter how early I go to bed, I just don’t wanna go to work.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

My dad thought Siri would be more helpful finding a lemon ricotta recipe if he used an Italian accent.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

80 years ago we would have all been institutionalized and I think that’s beautiful.

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