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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Don’t worry, I’m only dead inside from the waist up.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

I miss my Dad opening the windows and talking about cross-ventilation.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Scientists say humans are the most evolved, but bears get to get fat all summer and then sleep for four months, so who’s really ahead.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Through repetition and sheer will I’ve mastered gracefully falling on my head.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

“At your big age” is one of my favorite insults.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

“Stand up for yourself!” Girl, I have low iron.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, knock over a lamp, and land on the floor.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

How come it’s called “thrift store shopping” instead of Goodwill hunting?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

784 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,946

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,946

Updated

25 minutes ago

Users Online

3,421

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

I don’t understand, but I also don’t care, so it works out.

Spotted on Messenger:

Brains are funny. I can remember every word to a song I haven’t heard in 20 years, but I’ve got no clue what my email password is.

Live now on Facebook:

Sometimes I delay my haircut intentionally to look rugged just to make that glow-up more iconic.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Don’t you hate it when you lose things? Like the motivation to do anything.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I grew up in a kinder, gentler age. We pitied our fools.

Just shared via TikTok:

I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.

Shared recently on Telegram:

My four moods: I’m too old for doing that. I’m too tired for doing that. I’m too sober for doing that. I don’t have time for doing that.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I was dismayed to hear the story of Rumpelstiltskin. I had no idea he was like that outside of work.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Processed food was literally designed for you to eat. Organic is just some crap they found on the ground somewhere.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

You can fake a smile, but you can’t fake jazz hands.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

784 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,946

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,946

Updated

25 minutes ago

Users Online

3,429

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

You don’t scare me. You’re not the evil eye I get from my dog when I make him get up from the couch so I can lay down.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, Eat cake.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Once I find a dragon, y’all are toast.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

The real threat to Democracy is the Bureaucracy.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Reoccurring dreams be like: ‘I dunno, here’s a rerun’

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Be the elephant you wish to see in the room.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Where do you see yourself five beers from now? What’s your five-beer plan?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Weddings should have a worst man.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

I’m now at the age where sitting cross-legged on the floor is punishable by about three days of full-body paralysis.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

I was dropped as an adult.

Going viral on WeChat:

To all of you who have never tried blindfold archery: You don’t know what you’re missing!

Making waves on Telegram:

My favorite recipe is the one where I pick up the phone and order food.

Just landed via Facebook:

Having to pee when you’re driving is problematic. Having to sneeze when you’re driving is even more problematic.

Making waves on Slack:

Many greetings from my coffee. Y’all are talking too much again.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

Live now on Facebook:

My hair dryer is so powerful that it doubles as my leaf blower.

Making waves on Threads:

Sometimes it’s the conversations you have with yourself that take the longest.

Reported on LinkedIn:

Teaching myself ukulele! Neighbor keeping the beat on my wall!

Shared recently on Messenger:

I’d like to have a word with the groundhog before he starts working this year.

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