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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

I’m going crazy, y’all. Coming with me?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Having your own apartment by yourself is so funny, cause I really just swept the whole place naked.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

I’ve disappointed better people.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

I just paid my taxes. The roads should be fixed any day now.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

I have no use for mean people. I’ll walk right past you like you’re furniture.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

When I was a kid, they played lame music for middle-aged people in the supermarket, but this morning at Whole Foods, it’s now all amazing bangers from my youth.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

My new diet plan is to hibernate and live off all this fat I’ve accumulated.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Y’all shivering in this cold cause them Shein jackets made outta paper towels.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Jesus spent his time among the mentally ill, the poor and unemployed, the prostitutes. So, in a way, by being on Twitter, we’re like Jesus.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

A dating app for people who self sabotage called Hinder.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,549

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on YouTube:

I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.

Just landed via Facebook:

The IRS needs special envelopes for when you’re not in trouble.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The government even made aliens boring.

Seen just now on Slack:

I hate it when some random company refers to me as their “customer.” I’m like, look, we had one night of drunken shopping, we are not in a relationship.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I’ve literally never copied and pasted text and thought, “I’m so glad it kept the formatting and font from the other document.”

Trending via Pinterest:

If I had a dollar for every time I didn’t know what was going on, I’d be like, why am I always getting all this money?

Shared recently on Slack:

I was living in the moment until I was evicted.

Just shared via TikTok:

Killing with kindness is a murder by compliments.

Spotted on Instagram:

I try to contain my craziness, but the lid keeps popping off.

Making waves on Snapchat:

It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

13 Funny volume quotes

Funny volume quotes turn up the laughter dial 🎉🔊 Whether you’re all about that max sound or prefer the quiet vibes, these witty lines will have you chuckling louder than ever 🤣📢 Ready to crank up the humor and enjoy some noise-worthy fun? Let’s dive into the world where volume meets vibes and giggles galore await! 🎶😄

New funny volume quotes 👇

Is it just my dad, or do all fathers watch videos on their phones with the volume full blast, with no concern for anyone else in the house?

0

3 weeks ago

anyone, blast, concern, dad, distraction, else, family, father, full, habit, house, humor, just, loud, phone, phones, video, videos, volume, watch
Never in my life have I heard my dad sneeze at an acceptable volume.

0

2 months ago

acceptable, dad, family, humor, i, life, never, sneeze, volume
I just want a bar where I can pour my own drink, have music at a normal volume, and there are no people, and it’s my house.

0

2 months ago

bar, drink, house, humor, i, just, music, normal, own, people, relaxation, solitude, volume, want, where
A real smart TV would increase the volume when you started eating chips.

0

2 months ago

chips, control, eating, eating chips, humor, increase, joke, real, relatable, smart, smart TV, snack, snack humor, technology, TV, TV joke, volume, volume control
A real smart TV would increase the volume when you start eating chips.

0

2 months ago

chips, eating, eating chips, entertainment, humor, increase, joke, real, smart, smart TV, snack, start, tech, tech humor, TV, volume
The volume of my TV is 100% dependent on what I’m currently chewing on.

0

2 months ago

activity, chewing, dependence, humor, snack, TV, volume
Sometimes I wish I could turn down the volume on certain people.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, certain, certain person, communication, humor, i, people, person, sometimes, turn, volume, wish
I like my music at a volume where I can’t hear you.

0

2 months ago

distraction, hear, humor, i, music, relationship, volume, where
They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

0

2 months ago

call, call volume, center, customer, customer service, frustration, humor, invention, irony, normal, service, should, volume
I wish my hair had as much volume as my mouth.

0

2 months ago

hair, humor, i, mouth, much, self-deprecation, volume, wish

For even more funny volume quotes, hit next 👇

All funny volume quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on Messenger this month:

Kinda miss being a child and wondering why the moon follows me.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

I miss them days if you couldn’t rap, you didn’t.

69 shares on Reddit this month:

You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

49 shares on Messenger this month:

I was raised to be humble which I excel at cause I excel at everything.

91 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m at the age where any time my mom asks if I remember so-and-so from high school, the news is never good.

24 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t want to adult today, I just want to dog. I’ll be lying down on the floor in the sun, you can pet me and bring me some snacks.

66 shares on Twitch this month:

It may sound crazy but some of us are nice without hidden agendas.

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

75 shares on Telegram this month:

My computer: Consider changing your password. Me: Consider fighting me in the streets.

67 shares on Discord this month:

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can die.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

You couldn’t pay me to do this year again.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Enjoying the consequences of my actions.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Sick and tired of these 30 mins weekends.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

“Winter is literally the best season.” Okay, husky, go sit outside then.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

We interrupt coverage of one horrible story for breaking news of another horrible story.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I was a nothingburger to him, but he was an everything bagel to me…

20 folks are currently checking 👀

First time buying fireworks, and I wasn’t sure I’d picked the right ones until the salesman gave me a wink and high-foured me.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey, I came over because the grass seemed really green here, but now that I’m looking back that grass actually looks crazy green, so I’m gonna go.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

It ain’t easy being America’s sweetheart during these dark times, but someone gotta do it!

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,431

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

For Halloween, you should be mine.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Fishing for compliments like “I’m a mess in this photo that I took all morning to get the right angle and filter and after 50 selfies this is me”.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Hey (with the intention of getting ice cream).

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

It’s always annoying to be woken up by some guy mowing his lawn. Just go around me, man.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

I bet the person who named the fireplace also named the waterfall.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

I can sing all the words to the intro song of DuckTales, what’s your flex?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Yesterday I wore something from 5 years ago and it actually fit. So proud of myself. It was a scarf, but still, let’s be positive here.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

How can vampires enjoy drinking our hot blood in the summer and other thoughts that keep me up at night.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

I was actually a little too thankful yesterday so today I’m going to even it out with some ungratefulness and entitlement.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

The closest I have ever come to bungee jumping was when I was born.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

Please twerk; I have just days left.

Shared recently on Instagram:

That awkward moment when you’re about to leave work and your boss says “before you go”.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Startup idea: Instagram, but it only shows you posts from people you follow, and they’re in chronological order.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I have never in my life learned from another person’s mistakes, I would literally let a giant wooden horse into my house right this second.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

The urge to say “yeah, you should do that”, especially when you have no clue.

Making waves on Threads:

According to my calculations, we’re all screwed.

Spotted on Telegram:

So, if you are too tired to speak, sit next to me, because I am fluent in silence.

Making waves on Twitch:

Girls don’t actually shop. We just walk round touching the clothes saying ‘this is cute’.

Making waves on Discord:

I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

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