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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

It’s a shame that the know-it-alls know everything better but don’t do anything better.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Lately life has been all panic no disco.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Every Microsoft Teams invite you get lowers your testosterone by 1-2%

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Another fine day ruined by responsibilities.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Do you laugh at your own jokes, or are you emotionally stable?

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

It’s a good friend who, when you want the truth, knows what truth you want.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Sometimes you just gotta say LOL and move on.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Childbirth seems like an awful lot of work for an already saturated market.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

My only knowledge of animals is that turtles like pizza and cats like lasagna.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,296

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

An easy way to check if you’re attractive: send a “Hey” DM and see if they reply.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I like it when it’s raining, because I can hold my umbrella really low and it makes everyone headless.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Men playing hard to get when they’re already hard to want, is so funny to me.

Making waves on Threads:

People watching you so close, you’d think you were a Netflix series.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you give it a really good massage?

Seen just now on Reddit:

I can’t believe that it’s our turn to give money to our nephews and nieces.

Just shared via Pinterest:

When you really want to slap someone, do it and say, “Mosquito!

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’ve been reading the room for 20 minutes. It’s not looking so good.

Making waves on YouTube:

I lied, there’s no sex. Stand over there and tell me if this painting I’m hanging is straight.

Seen just now on Instagram:

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

I was explaining to my Ukrainian colleague the phrase ‘There’s no such thing as a free lunch’. She told me the equivalent in Ukrainian is ‘The only free cheese is in the mousetrap’ — which is so much better.

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess I've been hanging out at the mousetrap buffet this whole time! 🧀😂🐭

better, cheese, colleague, cultural, cultural difference, difference, equivalent, explaining, explanation, free, free cheese, free lunch, humor, i, idiom, lunch, me, mousetrap, much, only, phrase, thing, told, Ukrainian

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You should just baseline mistrust every single politician at every level until they prove themselves worthy of liking.

0

2 months ago

belief, cynicism, every, humor, just, level, liking, mistrust, opinion, politician, politics, prove, satire, should, single, skepticism, trust
Life hack: you don’t need salt if you just cry into your dinner.

0

2 months ago

cooking, cry, dinner, food, hack, humor, just, life, life hack, need, salt, tears
If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.

0

2 months ago

advice, again, comeback, free, freedom, friendship, humor, love, means, nobody, relationship, return, set, someone
I’ve had so much tea trying to get rid of this cold that I’m now speaking with a British accent and am fascinated with the Royal family.

0

2 months ago

accent, am, British, British accent, cold, culture, family, fascination, health, humor, much, rid, royal, royal family, speaking, stereotypes, tea, trying
I generally don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I’m really good at it.

0

2 months ago

confidence, confusion, doing, good, hell, humor, i, irony, know, mastery, self-awareness, skill
The purpose of a meme is to disturb the humorless, and to humor the disturbed.

0

2 months ago

comedy, disturb, disturbed, entertainment, humor, humorless, meme, purpose

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Roses are red. Daisies are white. I’m in a grumpy mood. My underwear is too tight.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

“It’s not that deep.” Of course it’s not. With a shallow mind like yours, nothing ever is.

63 shares on Discord this month:

A web developer and an SEO expert walk into a bar, bars, nightclub, pubs, tavern, beer, alcohol, drinks, alcoholic beverages, bars in my area, places to drink.

48 shares on YouTube this month:

Welcome to your 50s… A new pain will be be assigned to you shortly.

60 shares on Facebook this month:

I keep my eyes in great shape by rolling them constantly.

70 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My youngest had a mandatory drugs and alcohol lecture today at school, and he still can’t mix a proper drink.

71 shares on YouTube this month:

If my cats are going to insist upon me getting up early, they’re going to have to learn how to make coffee.

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Shoutout to everyone who works hard to support their dog’s extravagant lifestyle.

61 shares on YouTube this month:

Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

73 shares on Twitch this month:

If you ever get a chance to date a cute person for one day, where will you take me?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

If women came with instructions, men wouldn’t read them anyway.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Got kicked out of reincarnation club for yelling yolo.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Slipping into something a little more comfortable (psychosis).

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Mornings would be fine if they started later.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not having a job.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

It’s like 10,000 lies when all you need is the files.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Yes, I know there is a really special place in hell for me. It’s called a throne.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Thank god I played a lot of Tetris as a kid or I never would have been able to get everything into the freezer.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.

Live now on Reddit:

Signed an Executive Order that you have to give me a little forehead kiss.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Hot person: wow, everyone here is so nice.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

“I’m asking Santa to bring some of you a sense of humor for Christmas.”

Going bananas on Messenger:

My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.

Making waves on Reddit:

Life is a highway and I’m afraid to merge.

Breaking via WeChat:

If trees offered Wi-Fi, we would plant more of them. Too bad they only produce this oxygen thing.

Going viral on TikTok:

The only thing that could heal me is a memory loss.

Trending via YouTube:

If I meet you at a party and you instantly start asking about my job, you are subhuman to me.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Note to self: Very important! First hang up, then insult.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I was explaining to my Ukrainian colleague the phrase ‘There’s no such thing as a free lunch’. She told me the equivalent in Ukrainian is ‘The only free cheese is in the mousetrap’ — which is so much better.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

You should just baseline mistrust every single politician at every level until they prove themselves worthy of liking.

Life hack: you don’t need salt if you just cry into your dinner.

If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.

I’ve had so much tea trying to get rid of this cold that I’m now speaking with a British accent and am fascinated with the Royal family.

I generally don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I’m really good at it.

The purpose of a meme is to disturb the humorless, and to humor the disturbed.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨