Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Congrats on hitting your Q3 numbers. Here’s an even bigger Q4 number that you’ll be fired for missing.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

I’m like … if parking too far away from the curb was a person.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Putting together a piece of furniture today, so my kids are about to learn swear words that haven’t even been invented yet.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

The medicine for headache goes to the stomach to do what, exactly?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Apparently, responding to a wedding invitation with “maybe next time” is wrong. I know that now.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

If you’re curious what the priciest item in a store is just bring a kid along because they’ll definitely find then break it.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Am I the only person who would rather almost fall over carrying the shopping than walk a second time?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Please leave me alone. I’m just a 3,000-year-old time-traveling alien who is trying to return to his home planet.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

If an ice cream truck has its music on, are you supposed to pull over and let it pass like an ambulance?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,303

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

I love the idea of a fruitarian, just morally affronted that anyone could eat a baby spinach.

Live now on Snapchat:

I disagree with everyone and think relationships should be easy.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I said when I retire, I would travel. I just didn’t expect it to be to the doctors.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I think we all know who to blame for the generation of parents who put too many Ys in their kids’ names. Lynyrd Skynyrd.

Spotted on Discord:

Every word wishes it could sound as fun as falafel.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

After nearly 40 years, I finally came to understand why some men slip away into a quiet, private life, far from the masses.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Dear men, my ‘biological clock’ isn’t my weakness. It’s your final deadline to prove you’re worthy.

Just landed via Facebook:

The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Getting a nose ring, so I don’t lose my keys.

I was explaining to my Ukrainian colleague the phrase ‘There’s no such thing as a free lunch’. She told me the equivalent in Ukrainian is ‘The only free cheese is in the mousetrap’ — which is so much better.

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess I've been hanging out at the mousetrap buffet this whole time! 🧀😂🐭

better, cheese, colleague, cultural, cultural difference, difference, equivalent, explaining, explanation, free, free cheese, free lunch, humor, i, idiom, lunch, me, mousetrap, much, only, phrase, thing, told, Ukrainian

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you ever think you can solve a parenting problem by doing the opposite of what didn’t work last time, the universe will just be like “Lol, nice try, dummy!”

0

2 months ago

doing, ever, humor, irony, just, last, lesson, life, life lesson, lol, mistakes, nice, opposite, parenting, problem, solve, think, time, try, universe, work
The question is, what will kill humanity this century? Artificial intelligence or natural stupidity?

0

2 months ago

artificial, artificial intelligence, century, humanity, humor, intelligence, irony, kill, natural, natural stupidity, question, stupidity
Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

0

2 months ago

feetish, fetish, foot, humor, just, pun, should, wordplay
Interesting people are my favorite endangered species.

0

2 months ago

endangered, favorite, humor, interesting, people, personality, specy, uniqueness
I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, being, complete, else, everyone, funeral, here, humor, i, ignore, inappropriate, interaction, issue, lightheartedness, opinion, over, personal, personal opinion, saying, social, social interaction, spice, strangers, things, walking, yesterday
The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

0

2 months ago

3, am, best, contact, dreams, fantasy, humor, humor quote, imagination, late, late night, me, meet, night

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s a beautiful morning. Lots of people out walking their phones.

30 shares on WeChat this month:

Girl math is avoiding shipping costs by buying more.

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Stop roasting yourself, you’re not a marshmallow.

31 shares on Twitch this month:

I can’t believe someone ran over my neighbors loud motorcycle tomorrow morning.

49 shares on Messenger this month:

Accidentally manifested an emotionally intelligent man that is hot and can cook. We’re currently staring at each other.

27 shares on X this month:

My favourite yoga pose is the one where you lay really still and do nothing.

44 shares on X this month:

Someone told me I wasn’t thinking clearly, as if that’s even an option.

67 shares on Discord this month:

I have the bruises of a much more active person.

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sorry, but I don’t think we should see each other anymore. Your Katana skills are lacking.

34 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Old people understand Roman numerals. I for one.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Sometimes I’ll pause a YouTube video to scroll on reels. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to be loved genuinely.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

The perfect number of cats is two stupid cats. Preferably siblings. But they can’t both be the same type of stupid. One needs to be stupid (dumb) and one needs to be stupid (annoying).

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

I love how spring sprung and then disappeared again.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Finally my winter fat has gone. I now have spring rolls.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

You can tell they named the aardvark early in the week and the anteater on a Friday.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

A collective orgasm would fix the world.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

I bought a watermelon and all I can think about is filling it with vodka.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Your brain needs exercise just as much as your body does. That’s why I think of running everyday.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

You gotta wonder why they just don’t make all bread garlic bread.

Making waves on Reddit:

My plumber asked me for a Google review. I said I thought it was a really good search engine and I’d give it 8/10.

Breaking via YouTube:

You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

Breaking via TikTok:

I don’t get mad anymore. I’m just like “again?” Ok then.

Just landed via Instagram:

I have to work because the baby is expensive. (I’m the baby.)

Trending via Messenger:

There will always be miserable people inviting you to their misery.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

You cannot trust me at a zoo because I’ll release the animals.

Spotted on Facebook:

Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

Freshly posted on WeChat:

If you’re worried that you added too much cheese to the recipe, I am here to reassure you that you did not.

Shared recently on Slack:

I’m a huge fan of saying “You’re welcome” really loudly when people don’t say thank you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I was explaining to my Ukrainian colleague the phrase ‘There’s no such thing as a free lunch’. She told me the equivalent in Ukrainian is ‘The only free cheese is in the mousetrap’ — which is so much better.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If you ever think you can solve a parenting problem by doing the opposite of what didn’t work last time, the universe will just be like “Lol, nice try, dummy!”

The question is, what will kill humanity this century? Artificial intelligence or natural stupidity?

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

Interesting people are my favorite endangered species.

I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨