I’ve shouted so much sporting advice from my sofa already this summer. It’s very tiring but hopefully it’s helping.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

I wish I was a cat, because the fatter you are, the more people like you.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

The nice thing about egotists is that they don’t talk about other people.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

I still can’t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. I’ve got 8 of them now and don’t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

I generally don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I’m really good at it.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

In honor of Charles Dickens, I will also be poor this Christmas.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

The difference between coffee and your opinion is that I asked for coffee.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something is wrong with me.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

I wonder if my recorded call has ever been used for training or quality purposes.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

You can either have a nice evening or you can help your child with their math homework. You can’t have both.