Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

So tired of looking in my wallet and not finding $10,000

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Thanks for leaving my door open; I was running low on houseflies.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

The perfect number of cats is two stupid cats. Preferably siblings. But they can’t both be the same type of stupid. One needs to be stupid (dumb) and one needs to be stupid (annoying).

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

After my death, I’ll be very busy. The list of people to whom I want to appear as a ghost is getting longer every day.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

I always make sure the garage door is shut. Wouldn’t want hoodlums stealing the stuff I’ve been meaning to get rid of for years.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Italians, look away now. I break my spaghetti in half before I cook it.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

I want to clarify that what I publish on social media does not define me as a person; I am worse.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Quitting my job to focus on staying inside.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

I really understand why boomers text with ellipses between everything… it feels so good…

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,501

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Most of my shoulder workout comes from shrugging when people ask me questions.

Shared recently on Slack:

“Seize the day!” No thank you. I will leave the day alone and hope it extends me the same courtesy.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Ain’t nothing better than knowing you were right when everyone else thought you were crazy.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.

Trending via Threads:

The sexual tension when everyone arrives at a 4-way stop at the same time.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Just once I’d like my dog to give me a treat.

Going bananas on X:

Catching me in person is rare. I move like a ghost.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Everything will kill you so pick something fun.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Sorry I’m unavailable… the horrors of reality insist upon themselves.

Just shared via Slack:

Next time I feel butterflies, I’m chugging down a bottle of tequila so they drown.

Microdosing hell by checking the web every day.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
Feeling edgy? Just browsing the web – it's like dipping your toes into the chaos pool! 🔥😂📱

addiction, checking, daily, daily routine, day, every, hell, humor, internet, microdosing, routine, sarcasm, web

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Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Reddit this month:

Tried a smile yesterday and my white blood cells attacked it.

93 shares on X this month:

It’s not jingling to you that I’m standing on Christmas.

25 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t care for the term drug mule, why can’t it be a drug unicorn.

89 shares on Reddit this month:

Caught my husband staring at me again. He’s probably weighing his pros and cons.

46 shares on WeChat this month:

If bugs could talk, they would probably say things like, “What the bug?”

48 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Being depressed is so embarrassing. It’s like, look at me, guys. I have nothing positive to say, and I make everything miserable.

40 shares on Messenger this month:

“You look tired”. No, I’m just ugly.

43 shares on Pinterest this month:

My boss denied me a raise before my shift today. What’s some music you have never wanted to hear in a coffee shop?

33 shares on Threads this month:

I love beating a dead horse with the girls. There is nothing better than a Saturday night rehashing, and never letting that horse rest in peace.

16 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If kids these days had a perfume, it would be called Audacity.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Why can’t I cry money instead of tears?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever watched the teams you hate be first-round exits?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Jacket I left on a chair that sometimes looks like a person at night stuns in new evening nightmare.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

How do you know I’m not just a figment of your imagination?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

If I’d married a wealthier man, I’d be lying on a fancier couch right now refusing to clean bigger rooms.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

I’m looking for friends with benefits. And by that I mean friends who have pools, boats and beautiful vacation homes.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Dear brain, please finally learn the difference between hunger and boredom. I’m getting fat.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

I had a sex dream last night that felt so real, I’m just gonna go ahead and add it to my body count.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

I might not be able to speak another language but I can speak English slower!

Going bananas on Twitch:

If reports from this daisy are accurate, she loves me not.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I’m forced to conclude that not liking my posts is a you problem.

Just landed via YouTube:

I love sleeping. You don’t spend any money and you don’t miss anyone.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Buying something nice for myself, cuz today would’ve been my birthday if I was born today.

Going viral on Twitch:

Airport beer at 6 a.m.? No problem. The airport is a lawless place that is free from judgment.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Engaging in deforestation (trimming my bush).

Spotted on TikTok:

I actually do check to see if you told me happy birthday before I tell you.

Just landed via TikTok:

Done with work today. The work day isn’t over, I’m just done with it.

Going viral on Twitch:

Is there a job where I can lay on the floor and listen to music?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Microdosing hell by checking the web every day.

1pm, the perfect time to start doing the work I woke up early to get a jump on.

It’s a shame that you can’t hold people up to the light like banknotes to see whether they are fake or real.

If you’re not dropping it like it’s hot, then what the hell are you doing?

Answering your cell when you don’t recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.

I keep myself humble by messing up all the time.

(lost in the labyrinth and I’m wearing a Fitbit) Nice, got my 10,000 steps.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Microdosing hell by checking the web every day.

Keep the laugh going 😂

1pm, the perfect time to start doing the work I woke up early to get a jump on.

It’s a shame that you can’t hold people up to the light like banknotes to see whether they are fake or real.

If you’re not dropping it like it’s hot, then what the hell are you doing?

Answering your cell when you don’t recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.

I keep myself humble by messing up all the time.

(lost in the labyrinth and I’m wearing a Fitbit) Nice, got my 10,000 steps.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨