Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

“It could be drugs,” I tell myself as I buy more books.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

I wasn’t feeling well so I googled my symptoms. I either have allergies or I died two days ago.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Home is where you can say anything because nobody’s really listening, anyway.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Every retail employee should get to hit one customer a year and there is no way for customers to tell if they’ve used it yet.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

It’s crazy people waste their time with hobbies and family when there are strangers on the internet who need to be argued with.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Every family needs a delusional daughter who is ambitious about relieving all her family’s struggles solely by winning the lottery one day.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

I’m changing the game. I’m starting to thank people from the top of my heart.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

The real miracle is how Jesus managed to book a table for twenty-six people on the night before the Easter holiday, and then only half them showed up.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Underrated life skill: only doing what feels genuinely right and letting everything else go.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

At the plastic surgeon: Please, Doc, help me. My Barbie doll has appendicitis.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

4,027

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

The word synergy sounds like a mix of the words sin and energy. Like, to be debauched but to do it with flair and zest.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

No one shoots at your feet and tells you to dance anymore.

Spotted on Threads:

Dating scene and the job market are the same right now, just stay where you are.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Watching Jaws with my kid because I’m sick of going to the beach.

Going viral on Facebook:

Light is faster than sound. That’s why people seem so bright until you hear them talk.

Spotted on Reddit:

“This is a great weekend to clean out the garage,” according to my wife and other people who won’t be cleaning the garage.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Apologies for the late response, instead of spending three minutes answering your email, I ignored it and felt anxious for two weeks.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Welcome to middle age, where you wake up hungover whether you’ve had a drink or not.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Gnocchi: The small, chubby children of spaghetti and potatoes.

Spotted on X:

I made coffee and carried it to the couch. I’ve done everything I had planned for this Sunday.

More funny quotes 👇

Reading fanfics is so fun, I wish romantic attraction was real.

0

4 days ago

attraction, fanfic, fun, humor, i, reading, real, romance, romantic, thinking, wish, wishful, wishful thinking
You amuse me, Jester. You may enter my bed chambers.

0

4 days ago

amusement, bed, bed chamber, chamber, enter, flirtation, humor, jester, me, medieval
Guess I’ll be getting the same thing for Christmas, again. Fat!

0

4 days ago

again, Christmas, fat, getting, gift, guess, holiday, humor, joke, repetition, same, self-deprecation, thing
Took a break from social media because my cat was asleep on my phone.

0

4 days ago

asleep, break, cat, funny situation, media, phone, situation, sleep, social, social media
I smile at all animals, just not the human ones.

0

4 days ago

animal, animals, human, humor, i, just, ones, sarcasm, smile
Men make money to be with a woman, but women make money to not have to be with a man. Clock it!

0

4 days ago

clock, difference, gender, gender difference, humor, independence, man, men, money, relationship, woman, women
“Don’t judge a book by its cover” is a beautiful, powerful sentiment that I fully ignore when book shopping.

0

4 days ago

beautiful, book, cover, humor, i, ignore, judge, judgment, powerful, sentiment, shopping
Imagine having someone to come home to who doesn’t have fur.

0

4 days ago

companionship, fur, having, home, humor, imagine, pet, someone
The world started without permission again.

0

4 days ago

again, event, humor, permission, sarcasm, started, unexpected, unexpected event, world
The Angry Birds assaulted me and made me rip their disgusting bong.

0

4 days ago

angry, Angry Bird, assault, bird, birds, bong, disgusting, game, humor, me, parody, video, video game

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Threads this month:

Schedule your bikini wax for the first thing in the morning, and you won’t need that cup of coffee.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

An escape room, but it’s a bean bag chair in a hammock on a water bed in a bouncy house and you’re over 40. Good luck!

92 shares on WeChat this month:

“I’m not even close to how crazy I’m legally entitled to be.”

89 shares on TikTok this month:

Turns out I’m not an afternoon person either.

92 shares on Messenger this month:

My favorite pirate song is “Aye of the Tiger”

87 shares on Twitch this month:

Vanilla perfumes are so nice. It’s like walking into a bakery but you are the bakery.

100 shares on YouTube this month:

This call, should’ve been a message in a bottle I never found.

65 shares on Snapchat this month:

Reading a book and coming across a character’s name that you don’t know how to pronounce, so for the rest of the book, every time you see it, your brain just goes ‘skdjfkskakfk.’

80 shares on Twitch this month:

No, it’s totally fine, Grandma. Nobody else needs to use the stairs today.

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t need Halloween. I have strange characters around me all year round.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Name a better duo than sad and depressed.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Had some plain yogurt with protein powder in it for breakfast, and not only is it high in protein and very filling, it’s also disgusting.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Y’all ever withheld good news so that it remains untouched by negativity?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

When you first meet a man, that fake version of him be so fire.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

I recently discovered “movies.” They’re usually like an hour and a half long, and a pretty good way to kill time. Check it out.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

I like my job, but if I had the opportunity to become a rich housewife, I would take it.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Called in, “Hey, macarena!” this morning.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

“She’s so self-centered”—who’s supposed to be the center of my life? You?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Wish my metabolism worked as fast as my anxiety.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

My level of sarcasm’s gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

If you’re in first class on a flight, sometimes they upgrade you to captain.

Seen just now on Messenger:

The best plans on a Friday night are no plans.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’m not moody; I’m just on shuffle.

Live now on Reddit:

They should invent weekends that are long-lasting.

Just shared via TikTok:

My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

Trending via Telegram:

I’ll never understand people who go through self-checkout line and slowly and carefully scan their items. This line is for stealing.

Making waves on WeChat:

Nothing is more fake than my friendliness on the phone at work.

Just shared via Reddit:

If you can’t say anything nice, say something funny.

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨