Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

I just sneezed into my elbow and now I’m waiting for a preschool teacher to praise me.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Y’all ever feel like your mouth is stupid but your mind is smart? Like you’re intelligent but you can’t express it when you’re speaking? It’s so frustrating.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

May he drop his phone on his face while he’s texting other girls.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Explain it to me like I’m five then do it for me like I’m one hundred.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Telling your parents about your problems is like adding another problem to your life.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Trying to be cute today but my face isn’t cooperating.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Why are these idiots only giving robots two arms?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Super excited about a brand new year full of questionable life choices.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,810

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’m at that age where someone can call me the wrong name and I’m just like “whatever, I’ll be Dan for a minute”.

Just landed via Messenger:

Someone asked me what my hobby was and I realized that my favorite hobby is doing absolutely nothing.

Spotted on Snapchat:

9-5 is really 10-2 if you’re working remote.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Soup is great for when you’re hungry but want to still feel hungry afterward.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Donuts hug you from the inside.

Trending via WeChat:

Micro-dosing time travel by going to bed.

Just shared via Instagram:

Girls be like “forget it, I’m fine” then set your house on fire.

Just landed via Threads:

“OMG I love your personality,” thanks, it’s a disorder.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I’m not saying I need glasses. But today I watched a bunny in a meadow until it flew away.

Spotted on Threads:

Love it when my brain is like, “You forgot something,” and then refuses to elaborate.

More funny quotes 👇

Jane Austen gave us men who crossed fields in the rain. Mine left me on read, and liked someone else’s story.

0

5 months ago

austen, dating, ghosting, humor, jane, Jane Austen, left, left on read, man, me, media, men, mine, rain, read, relationship, social, social media, someone, story, us
Sawing a hole in a table from underneath to steal a cake is a lot harder than cartoons would have you believe.

0

5 months ago

believe, cake, cartoons, harder, hole, lot, steal, table
Asking myself if that was too weird after I hit send.

0

5 months ago

after, anxiety, asking, communication, hit, i, myself, overthinking, self-doubt, send, social, social anxiety, texting, too, weird, weirdness
I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.

0

5 months ago

4, allowed, day, feel, heart, humor, i, late, late start, purity, start, start time, time
I should go to jail so I can focus on the gym.

0

5 months ago

exercise, fitness, focus, gym, humor, i, jail, prison, should, workout
I was about to organise my closet, but I then I found what I was looking for.

0

5 months ago

cleaning, closet, discovery, distraction, found, humor, i, looking, organise, procrastination, tidying, tidying up
The real me comes out at midnight (it’s just me spending money online).

0

5 months ago

humor, just, me, midnight, money, night, night owl, online, online shopping, owl, real, shopping, shopping spree, spending, spree
Channeling my inner forest ghost: hauntingly fabulous and slightly lost.

0

5 months ago

fabulous, forest, forest ghost, ghost, Halloween, hauntingly, hauntingly fabulous, humor, inner, lost, self-expression, spooky
Seems like the mosquitoes swiped right on me.

0

5 months ago

bite, dating, humor, insect, joke, match, me, mosquito, right, seems, swipe
Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination!

0

5 months ago

humor, laziness, management, nothingness, procrastination, schedule, squeeze, time, time management, today, trying

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Telegram this month:

The new American dream is an alien invasion.

89 shares on Snapchat this month:

Adults should not be twins. Being twins is for children.

85 shares on Instagram this month:

Now I understand why old people sit outside just to sit outside.

43 shares on Messenger this month:

Does your blood pump that way just for me?

69 shares on Reddit this month:

My husband said I use a lot of makeup, so I showed him some makeup tutorials on TikTok and I don’t think he’ll be making that mistake again.

76 shares on TikTok this month:

My bad if I ever left you on read. I didn’t mean to open the message.

66 shares on Slack this month:

Kim Kardashian wants her ashes to be scattered in the sea after her death. As if there wasn’t enough plastic there already.

79 shares on TikTok this month:

Capri Sun tastes as if scientists had bet that they could make fruit juice without fruit.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

“I’m interested in the divorce rate for couples who sleep in queen versus king beds.”

79 shares on Messenger this month:

I didn’t mean to mimic your voice, I just had to know what it felt like to sound like that.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

“Are you ok?” Of course not. Next question!

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Some of these fake tans look like an old Tupperware container that’s had marinara sauce in it.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Love when plans get canceled. It’s like getting a snow day as an adult.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

One day my kids will move out and discover the dishes don’t clean themselves and I feel for them. I really do.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

I read somewhere that playing white noise helps you sleep better, but I didn’t find country music helpful at all.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

The secret to being a private person is to overshare dumb shit so people think you are an open book but then not tell them any of the important details of your life.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

The way people who are really into each other look moments before kissing is so hot. It’s like seeing a glimpse of cannibalism.

Going viral on Facebook:

Why does the dentist have to take an x-ray of my teeth? They right there, bro!

Making waves on Slack:

I see posts like, “If food is too expensive, just grow your own.” Okay, Einstein, why didn’t I think of that?

Shared recently on Twitch:

I haven’t tried Yoga, but I bent over to pick up my keys off the floor, so I’m sure I wouldn’t like Yoga.

Trending via Discord:

When my cat gets in trouble I call him by his full name, Catthew.

Trending via Reddit:

There are rumors that someone came down the chimney last night. This is preposterous. I would have lost my mind.

Just shared via Pinterest:

If it hurts you more than it hurts them, you are holding the taser wrong.

Spreading quickly via X:

I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.

Going viral on Threads:

My fight or flight response has frequent flyer miles.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Being a social worker is crazy because those are literally my two least favorite things.

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨