Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

His hands wouldn’t stop talking to me, your honor.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

I’ve tasted being employed, and I’ve tasted being unemployed. I recommend not being born.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

My kids are asking for another dog that I can feed and walk.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Yabba dabba doo used to be a rad way to start a Saturday.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Shoutout to coughing on the bus. Haven’t tried it myself but seems really popular.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Holding back your sarcastic replies takes a lot of inner strength.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Source? Divine intuition, gut instinct, and cryptic symbolism from my dreams.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,720

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

I’m now at the age where happy hour is a nap.

Spotted on Instagram:

Your birthday as an adult mainly consists of texting back ‘Thanks!’ to people you haven’t talked to in 5 years.

Breaking via Instagram:

Sorry for running at you on all fours, I was excited to see you.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Winter is actually awesome because if you put on a couple of movies at 5 p.m., it’s already pitch black and the evening is super long, so it feels like you’re staying up til 2 a.m., but in reality, it’s only 11 p.m. 10/10!

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I did vote once but only because I thought the line was to a buffet.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Apparently the term for migraine-sufferer is ‘migraneur.’ Nice getting recognition as a kind of artisan of suffering.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Why can’t I cry money instead of tears?

Freshly posted on X:

Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.

Shared recently on Threads:

When I die, I want to come back as a speed bump so I can piss people off.

More funny quotes 👇

I pray this boy wins in life. I wanna see him on top of me.

0

5 months ago

ambition, boy, humor, i, life, me, pray, prayer, relationship, top, win, wish
Went to the gym two days in a row. This is a fitness account now.

0

5 months ago

account, days, exercise, fitness, gym, humor, motivation, routine, row, workout
A female will ghost you, and the whole time she is waiting for you to text back again.

0

5 months ago

again, back, communication, female, ghost, ghosting, relationship, text, texting, time, waiting, whole
What is the morning wood equivalent for women, and why do I always have it?

0

5 months ago

always, biology, curiosity, equivalent, humor, i, morning, morning wood, question, why, women, wood
Amazing if accurate: bleeding money.

0

5 months ago

accurate, amazing, bleeding, expense, finance, humor, money, sarcasm
Making a cult with only intuitive introverts so we can all sit in silence, side-eyeing each other suspiciously.

0

5 months ago

behavior, cult, humor, introvert, making, only, side eye, silence, sit, social, social behavior, suspicion
No revenge, but I hope you stutter every time you try to dirty talk with someone.

0

5 months ago

awkwardness, dirty, dirty talk, every, hope, humor, i, insult, revenge, someone, stutter, talk, time, try
The more attention you get on this website, the less you enjoy being on it.

0

5 months ago

attention, being, enjoy, enjoyment, experience, irony, less, media, online, online experience, social, social media, website
Socialism isn’t wrong because it has compassion. It’s wrong because it doesn’t work.

0

5 months ago

compassion, failure, humor, ideology, politics, socialism, work, wrong
Long-distance couples be like, “I can’t wait,” and then they wait.

0

5 months ago

anticipation, communication, couple, couples, humor, i, long distance, long-distance relationship, love, relationship, wait, waiting

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Telegram this month:

The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.

86 shares on YouTube this month:

I’ll be like “I’m fine” then shake my leg at 150 mph.

99 shares on Threads this month:

You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.

45 shares on Twitch this month:

I went downstairs to get my charger. I came back up with a bowl of ice cream and no charger.

25 shares on WeChat this month:

The fastest mammal on earth is the smartass on the web.

13 shares on Messenger this month:

Once you book a trip, it becomes hard to focus on life.

51 shares on X this month:

That awkward moment when someone keeps watching you while you are eating.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

My life plans are fading like Marty McFly’s family photo.

67 shares on X this month:

I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.

73 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t know how to knit, so I made you a tinfoil hat.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

I exaggerated on my job application and said I wanted to work for a living.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

If you respond to my sarcasm with better sarcasm, then I might just catch feelings.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

I’m sorry I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Don’t ask me for work advice, I’m just going to tell you to quit your job.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Ponytails are only hot on women, bro.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

You’re not lazy, you’re just buffering in HD.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

The females who don’t go through phones will definitely find out through dreams.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m going to be real pissed if I get my shit together and the world ends.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Instead of presents this year, I’m giving everyone my opinion. Get excited!

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Judging by the hair on my couch, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

I’m so bored of being bored, because being bored is really boring.

Just landed via X:

Please don’t take illegal substances. Or at least, don’t take MY illegal substances.

Just shared via Twitch:

I’d like to shrink you down and add you to my keychain.

Spotted on Messenger:

No more relationships for me, the last one was an embarrassment to my gangsta.

Just shared via TikTok:

I’m not being smart, I’m just a skilled trained professional in pointing out the obvious.

Breaking via YouTube:

The fact it costs $15 to get a basic meal at a fast-food restaurant now is comical.

Live now on Threads:

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I had bad luck with women twice. The first left me, the second stayed.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Please try to schedule meetings around my need for attention.

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨