Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Moose would have been a better name for a cow.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Name something cuter than a baby in a bucket hat on the beach.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

The ’90s were a time of blissful ignorance where we expected rock stars to sleep with groupies.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

A man messaged me on Insta and said, “You are not looking bad.” This might be the one, y’all.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

I would go out of my mind, but I can’t find the exit.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Super excited about a brand new year full of questionable life choices.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

I’ll rewind a movie, get on my phone, and miss the same part.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Watching a movie and subtitles not syncing is low-key pain.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Experts say that human interaction is important for brain health but I’m willing to risk it.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

If you ever go backpacking in the wilderness, be sure to wear corduroy pants, so you can start a fire if needed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,910

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

I’m not good with plants or people, but I am good with books and buffets.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I knew I had issues when motivational speakers started to irritate me.

Just landed via Twitch:

If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

Just landed via Facebook:

So many spreadsheets and not once did I feel excelled.

Live now on Telegram:

She took all my money, called me fat, AND stabbed me in the arm. I hate doctor appointments.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Tornadoes are the most relaxing things in the news.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

The history of mankind would have been completely different if Adam and Eve had been Chinese. They would have left the apple hanging and eaten the snake.

Breaking via Discord:

I hate it when I’m at work and someone asks “are you at free at the moment?”. Please expand further so I can know if I’m free or not.

Just shared via YouTube:

Letting her be the passenger princess cause I care about my safety.

Going viral on X:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you either have a naked window neighbor or you are the naked window neighbor.

More funny quotes 👇

Hey, people, my age. Remember going into the computer lab at school?

0

5 months ago

age, childhood, computer, computer lab, going, humor, lab, memory, nostalgia, people, remember, school, technology
Unpopular activity: minding your own business.

0

5 months ago

activity, behavior, business, humor, minding, minding business, own, personal, personal space, sarcasm, social, social behavior, space, unpopular, unpopular activity
Guy in front of me at the movies was reading the popcorn Wikipedia page while he was eating popcorn.

0

5 months ago

eating, entertainment, front, guy, humor, me, movie, observation, page, popcorn, reading, snack, while, Wikipedia
“Work smarter, not harder.” Brother, I’m not doing either of those things.

0

5 months ago

brother, doing, harder, humor, laziness, motivation, procrastination, productivity, smarter, things, work
My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and I’m like, cool, can one of you reach the top shelf for me.

0

5 months ago

boy, boys, cool, humor, joke, me, milkshake, reach, shelf, top, top shelf, yard
I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

0

5 months ago

confidence, dating, high, high-quality, humor, i, me, relationship, standard, standards, want, woman
Celebrities should not be allowed to name children.

0

5 months ago

allowed, celebrity, child, child name, children, culture, humor, name, naming, parenting, pop, pop culture, should
All the world’s a stage, and I always forget my line.

0

5 months ago

acting, always, forget, humor, i, line, performance, stage, world
Work beers should be a daily thing.

0

5 months ago

beer, beers, culture, daily, daily routine, humor, office, office culture, relaxation, routine, should, socializing, thing, work
The people that sing their heart out, but terribly, are my people.

0

5 months ago

bad, bad singer, community, heart, humor, music, passion, people, self-expression, sing, singer, singing

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on Snapchat this month:

A collective orgasm would fix the world.

69 shares on Pinterest this month:

And then the vodka whispered, “Say what you really think.”

60 shares on Telegram this month:

I’d rather you don’t watch me while I’m liking my own post.

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Another day waiting, and wishing, and wanting.

62 shares on Instagram this month:

They’re selling me on Temu tomorrow.

45 shares on Instagram this month:

At my size, I’d be called Buffet the Vampire Slayer.

45 shares on YouTube this month:

My dating era has come to an end. I’d like to thank those who participated.

37 shares on TikTok this month:

To be blocked is to be seen and to be seen is to be loved.

67 shares on X this month:

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

76 shares on Instagram this month:

Researchers have discovered that birthdays are healthy. People who have more grow older.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Drugs do not ruin your career. Drug tests do.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Kids don’t love anything as much as they love arguing with each other.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

How do I get someone to unknow me? I no longer want to be known by these people.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Don’t talk to me unless you are a ham sandwich.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

The billionaires have decided that the people with nothing have too much.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Banana boats are powered by bananas. Everyone knows this.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

I wish berries were the size of apples. Just imagine for a second.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

The audacity of my parents’ oldies station now playing 80s music.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Who you are when you’re stuck behind a slow driver is the real you.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Not to brag, but my date returned after using the restroom.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

I’m so thankful I had a childhood before technology took over.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Sorry, Mom, I can’t go outside, I’m ugly.

Just shared via Telegram:

Someone needs to make an app for a Tamagotchi that you keep alive by going offline.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I giggle before I go crazy. Gotta start my engine.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you give it a really good massage?

Going bananas on X:

I need to consult the woods about this.

Trending via WeChat:

Stop eating cakes with the fakes and come eat a bundt with a cundt.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I can’t be bothered with people that can’t be bothered.

Shared recently on Threads:

I love single sign-on because you only have to sign on once, 8 times a day.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨