Commentary:
Trying to be a morning person is like trying to fold a fitted sheet—best left unsaid and unseen. 🤫😴🛌
If you don’t have dating allegations with your best friend, you are not bestfriending hard enough.
Commentary:
Guess I need to turn up my bestfriending game—time to start planning a fake romantic getaway! 😂👫💕
I get so embarrassed for no reason after posting on social media, like, why am I showing my life?
Commentary:
Posting on social media is like trying to exit a room you just walked into by accident: awkwardly hilarious and full of surprises! 😂🤳 #AccidentalOvershare
Womansplaining is when a woman tries to explain to you what you’re thinking/feeling, and is just totally 100% wrong.
Commentary:
When she's sure she knows your feelings better than you do, it's like she's got a PhD in Mind Reading-ology 😂🧠📚
Applying lip balm when you know someone’s watching you is a power move.
Commentary:
Who knew moisturizing could feel like wielding a tiny stick of confidence? 💄😎✨
Coke tastes like tapping into your ancient ancestral petroleum reserves, while Sprite tastes like being connected to a big, beautiful energy grid.
Commentary:
Sounds like Coke is my inner caveman's choice, but Sprite makes me feel like I'm solar-powered! 🌞🦖🔋
I would do absolutely anything for my friends, except answer their text messages.
Commentary:
LOL, I'm the ultimate friend—forever in your heart, but never in your inbox! 😂📵🤷♂️
Not gonna lie, the age I’m turning this year sounds a little serious, and I don’t like it.
Commentary:
Sounds like we need to negotiate with Father Time for a more fun age! 🎉😅🔄
Aliens probably have group chats called Don’t Stop on Earth.
Commentary:
Looks like we're the pit stop nobody asked for 🚀👽😅
Today I was in a taxi, and the taxi driver said, “I love my job. I am my own boss, nobody tells me what to do!” Then I said, “Turn left.”
Commentary:
That's a quick way to show him who's really in charge! 😂🚖👌