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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Sorry I didn’t get you an anniversary card, babe, but you opted in to paperless affection on our third date.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Grandma complained that with age, her joints were getting weaker. Told her to just roll them a little tighter.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

I’m exactly where I want to be. At home, avoiding people.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Lord of the Rings is wild cause Gandalf told Frodo he had to go on a super dangerous journey and Frodo was like “Ok, can I bring my gardener?”

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s. You now pay for 7 streaming services, only use 4 and can’t remember the password to any of them.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Picking up women at the bar and then gently setting them down.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

If she wants the moon, you get her the moon.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

This could have been an email. Me, while attending a wedding ceremony.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

I know some people don’t like me, but what can I do, not everyone has good taste.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,505

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Discord:

Before they perfected the Q-tip, you have to wonder what kinds of horrific things went wrong with tips A-P.

Just shared via Pinterest:

My body is like an elastic band – no matter how I stretch it, it goes back to the nap position.

Seen just now on WeChat:

You okay, babe? You’ve hardly touched the promises you made me.

Breaking via Telegram:

I gotta ask, what part of ‘I don’t eat sugar’ don’t I understand?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The answer is a cabin in the woods, by the way.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

We’re all naughty, some just more than others.

Trending via Discord:

If you don’t laugh at my jokes then I will.

Breaking via Threads:

So stupid how New York is actually as cool as everyone says.

Trending via WeChat:

You call it nagging, I call it ‘listen to what I said the first time!’

Broadcasted on Messenger:

People should come with warning labels.

Women pretending not to see men staring at them is an essential survival skill.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
Mastering the art of "ignore and walk away" like a ninja in heels! 🕶️💁‍♀️💃

essential, humor, interaction, man, men, pretend, pretending, skill, social, social interaction, stare, staring, survival, survival skill, woman, women

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

0

2 months ago

bottom, coffee, food, free, free sandwich, give, hit, hitting, hitting bottom, humor, i, life, life struggles, me, rock, rock bottom, sandwich, should, struggles
I don’t know which is worse, people stealing your jokes or people not stealing your jokes.

0

2 months ago

comedy, humor, i, irony, joke, jokes, know, opinion, people, stealing, worse
I’m tired of things costing money.

0

2 months ago

cost, expense, financial, humor, money, sarcasm, things, tired
Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”

0

2 months ago

back, digital, digital footprint, embarrassment, footprint, God, humor, media, nostalgia, oh, online, online embarrassment, past, past posts, posts, privacy, share, social, social media, social media humor, somebody, something, sometimes, think, timeline
I hate when I’m trying to spell a word, and my phone can’t do it either.

0

2 months ago

autocorrect, frustration, hate, humor, i, language, phone, spell, spelling, texting, trying, typo, word
Obituaries should have clickbait titles.

0

2 months ago

clickbait, death, humor, irony, obituary, satire, should, title, titles

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on Threads this month:

So, Earth is basically auditions for heaven and hell.

83 shares on Twitch this month:

My one cat vomited her dinner and then the other cat went in and started eating it. And that, my friends, is what ChatGPT is to me.

82 shares on Reddit this month:

I’ve decided to handle this like a mature adult, I’m telling your mom.

61 shares on Threads this month:

Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have Internet.

12 shares on TikTok this month:

Life would be so much easier if you could push a button that makes dickheads fall through a trap door in the floor.

86 shares on X this month:

People at the library need to learn how to be quiet. Some of us are trying to beatbox over here.

56 shares on Messenger this month:

So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Not to brag but I don’t need alcohol to do something stupid.

14 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m too tired to shower. Anyone want to wash my back?

31 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Onion rings? I’m answering.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Having a sore throat as a giraffe must really suck.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Oh, you like NYC? Name every rat.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Someone in their late 20s giving advice to someone in their early 20s is exactly like when a toddler is obsessed with a newborn.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Getting my next boyfriend a flip phone. He doesn’t need anything more.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

I can’t work under these festive conditions.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

I should have peed before I left, and other things I’ll never learn: A memoir

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Roses are red. Pizza sauce is too. I ordered a large. And none of it’s for you.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

I’m not getting fatter. I’m increasing my content.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

First caveman to see fire: Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs (stomps it out) and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Single bells, single bells, single all the way. Oh, what fun it is to watch those couples fight all day, yay!

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Toast doesn’t talk. How do you know it’s French?

Just shared via Facebook:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you start eating chips.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Doctor said I am terminally chill.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Women pretending not to see men staring at them is an essential survival skill.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

I don’t know which is worse, people stealing your jokes or people not stealing your jokes.

I’m tired of things costing money.

Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”

I hate when I’m trying to spell a word, and my phone can’t do it either.

Obituaries should have clickbait titles.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨