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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Some days you have breakfast for dinner and live life on your own terms.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

As a retiree, I have two pairs of pajamas. Bedtime and daytime. Sometimes I get them confused.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Be the horrifying lore of your family’s lineage.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

I will sit in the rain about this.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

My kids had to work extra hard this morning but they were able to get the clean house back to it’s normal messy state just in time for the guests to arrive.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Scrolling should count as cardio.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

I get it, orcas. Sometimes you just need to ruin a yacht to feel something.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Sorry to interrupt your scrolling, but I hope life gets better for you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,671

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Life hack: if you run out of treadmill space for your clothes, get a piano.

Making waves on Threads:

Sure, I could keep my thoughts to myself but I can’t see “Likes” in my journal.

Shared recently on TikTok:

When you tickle a man to death by accident, it is manslaughter.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Welcome to your 40s: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Talking to animals doesn’t make you crazy, hearing them talk back does.

Spotted on Facebook:

People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean, don’t they have thoughts?

Just landed via TikTok:

The meteorologist who devised the wind chill factor has died. He was 86, but he felt like 75.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

Just shared via TikTok:

Me: “I should treat myself to something.” My bank account: “Dream on.”

Random Funny Quotes

Random funny quotes to crack you up. 😎✌️

Random funny quotes 👇

I read that Miley Cyrus will be starring in a remake of Silence of the Lambs. She’ll be playing Hannibal Montannibal.

0

2 months ago

celebrity, comedy, culture, cyrus, hannibal, Hannibal Montannibal, humor, i, lambs, miley, Miley Cyrus, montannibal, movie, movie remake, parody, playing, pop, pop culture, read, remake, silence, Silence of the Lambs
My husband is the do-it-yourself type. I asked him to take out the garbage and he said, “do it yourself.”

0

2 months ago

asked, chores, do-it-yourself, garbage, humor, husband, i, marriage, relationship, take, type, wit, yourself
Sure, breakups are hard, but have you ever had to wait for your phone to stop ringing so you can start using it again?

0

2 months ago

again, annoyance, breakup, ever, hard, humor, phone, ringing, start, stop, sure, technology, using, wait, waiting
Headless mannequins are great because they let you see how you’ll look wearing a new shirt after you’ve been decapitated.

0

2 months ago

after, decapitated, fashion, great, headless, humor, irony, let, mannequin, new, self-image, shirt
Caffeine isn’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat a gun.

0

1 month ago

caffeine, coffee, cutting, eat, energy, exhaustion, frustration, gun, humor, i, joke, need, sarcasm
God doesn’t do nearly enough smiting anymore.

0

2 months ago

divine, enough, God, humor, joke, religion, sarcasm, smiting
Y’all be riding them bikes in the street like I don’t gotta look up my next song.

0

3 months ago

bike, distraction, humor, i, music, next, riding, song, street
You know where I’d like to go? Missing.

0

2 months ago

desire, escape, humor, ID, know, missing, travel, where, wish
Do other people remember toasters with wings flying across our computer screens or was that a fever dream I just had?

0

2 months ago

across, computer, dream, fever, fever dream, flying, humor, i, just, memory, nostalgia, people, remember, screens, toaster, wing, wings
When someone has “Do Not Disturb” on, it’s like, oh, okay, I didn’t realize the great philosopher was in their hour of seclusion. Pardon me for even daring to enter their precious mind palace.

0

2 months ago

disturb, do not disturb, enter, even, great, hour, humor, i, interruption, me, mind, mind palace, oh, okay, palace, pardon, philosopher, precious, privacy, realize, sarcasm, seclusion, solitude, someone

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

One day we will tell our grandkids how far we had to scroll to get to the recipe.

27 shares on LinkedIn this month:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at social gatherings.

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Limiting my replies to introverts, wizards, freaks and vampires only.

71 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sometimes I use big words I don’t always fully understand, in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.

91 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m convinced that if Earth explodes, all the cats will land safely on the moon, on their feet.

47 shares on Facebook this month:

Apparently the term for migraine-sufferer is ‘migraneur.’ Nice getting recognition as a kind of artisan of suffering.

61 shares on WeChat this month:

We got our carpet cleaned today, so I’m just waiting for the dog to throw up.

92 shares on X this month:

Just bought a new umbrella for the person that finds it tomorrow.

61 shares on Discord this month:

Apparently, everyone on the Zoom calls outside my office finds my singing distracting.

83 shares on Telegram this month:

Me: I’m an introvert. Vodka: No, you’re not.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Sex is like tacos. I wish I were having some now.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Meow means woof in cat.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

You think you’re aging well and then you feel an earlobe hair blowing in the wind.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Nobody says “boom shakalaka” like they used to.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Incredibly annoying that exercising, eating right, and drinking water can make you actually feel good.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

To accommodate the size of my wife’s new water bottle, we’ve replaced the passenger seat of her car with a cupholder.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Do you ever stress about money, then accidentally order from Amazon?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

I haven’t broken a mirror lately, but my water broke and I’ve had seven years of kids crawling into my bed.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

When intelligence meets empathy and kindness, it’s so sexy.

Making waves on YouTube:

I’ve been asked to join a swingers club, but I’m a little nervous. What if I’m not good enough? I haven’t been on a swing since I was 9.

Making waves on WeChat:

If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Men tell you “I know a place” and bring you to the brink of madness.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Every group chat has that one person who never replies, and it’s me.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

364 days until Christmas, and people already have decorations up. Unbelievable.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

You better pray to whatever god you serve that this email finds you before I do.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I regret to inform you all that I just plan on getting hotter and weirder.

Breaking via Twitch:

Everytime I spend $20 I think this is fine because I won’t do it again. And then would you believe.

Activity Log ✨

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨