28 Funny 50 quotes

• You will give your period 50 acres of prime pad, and it will still choose to encroach on your underwear.

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  4 weeks ago

  50, care, choose, encroachment, give, humor, menstruation, pad, period, personal, personal care, prime, still, underwear

• If your coffee shop has a passive-aggressive ‘no Wi-Fi, pretend it’s the old days’ sign, I’m gonna smoke in there and pay 50 cents for coffee.

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  4 weeks ago

  50, coffee, coffee shop, days, humor, old, old days, passive-aggressive, pay, payment, pretend, shop, sign, smoke, Wi-Fi, wifi

• If I walk into a girl’s house and she got like 50 plants, I know she’s a keeper because she already takes care of a bunch of useless things. What’s one more?

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  4 weeks ago

  50, care, caretaker, girl, girls, got, house, humor, i, keeper, know, pet, plants, relationship, responsibility, things, useless, walk

• I’ve got 50 minutes to make it look like I’ve been flossing for the last 6 months.

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  4 weeks ago

  50, 6, care, dental, dental hygiene, flossing, got, humor, hygiene, last, minutes, months, oral, oral care, pressure, procrastination, time, time pressure

• The worst part about being in your 40s is the 10 years of listening to people say, “Wait till you’re 50.”

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  4 weeks ago

  40s, 50, 50s, age, being, humor, life, life stage, listening, people, say, stage, wait, waiting, worst

• If I had 50¢ for every math test I’ve failed, I’d have $7.20.

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  4 weeks ago

  50, calculation, every, fail, failed, humor, i, ID, joke, math, money, school, test

• Like most people my age, I’m 50.

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  4 weeks ago

  50, age, humor, joke, middle, middle age, most, people

• Cooking your own meals really is the best way to devote 50 hours of your life every month to save $50.

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  4 weeks ago

  50, best, budget, cooking, every, food, hours, humor, irony, life, meal, meals, money, month, own, save, saving, time

• The thing about being 50+ is that whenever an opportunity to pee is available – you’re wise to take it.

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  4 weeks ago

  50, 50 plus, age, aging, available, bathroom, being, humor, opportunity, pee, plus, take, thing, whenever, wisdom, wise

• Why would I get married when it’s a well-known fact that only 50% of all marriages end in divorce?

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  4 weeks ago

  50, divorce, end, fact, humor, i, joke, marriage, married, only, relationship, satire, wedding, why

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