20 Funny afterlife quotes

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed over their chest because of the belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed over their chest because of the belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

Probably the most humiliating thing that can happen when you die is that you come back as a fitted-sheet ghost.

Probably the most humiliating thing that can happen when you die is that you come back as a fitted-sheet ghost.

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025

Do we lazy people actually go to heaven? Or are we being picked up?

Do we lazy people actually go to heaven? Or are we being picked up?

Funny Quotes Jan 22, 2025

The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.

The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.

Funny Quotes Jan 21, 2025

If you’re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night.

If you’re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night.

Funny Quotes Jan 21, 2025

I'm going to hell in every religion.

I’m going to hell in every religion.

Funny Quotes Jan 21, 2025

I'm putting free wifi on my gravestone, so people will come visit me.

I’m putting free wifi on my gravestone, so people will come visit me.

Funny Quotes Jan 20, 2025

"Well at least I don't have to wake up any more." Is what I want my tombstone to say.

“Well at least I don’t have to wake up any more.” Is what I want my tombstone to say.

Funny Quotes Jan 20, 2025

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Funny Quotes Jan 19, 2025

Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.

Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.

Funny Quotes Jan 19, 2025