Home » Funny Asleep Quotes

29 Funny asleep quotes

Trending Funny Asleep Quotes 🔥

Fall in love? I can barely fall asleep.
Whoever’s been in charge of the weather for the last few weeks seems to have fallen asleep on the couch with the remote control in their hand.
Not being able to fall asleep is so embarrassing. All I’m asking my brain to do is nothing and it can’t even do that?
If you fall asleep long enough, the steering wheel gives you a pillow.
I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

New funny asleep quotes 👇

1 month ago
Share →: Accidentally falling asleep is always the best sleep — and that’s so irritating.

Commentary:
"Falling asleep on accident: 10/10. Waking up with drool on my sleeve: priceless. 😴💤🤦‍♂️"
3 months ago
Share →: Never underestimate my ability to fall asleep in a moving vehicle.

Commentary:
"Who needs a lullaby when you have a car ride? 😴🚗 Sweet dreams guaranteed, destination: Dreamland! 🌙✨ #SleepyHeadInMotion"
3 months ago
Share →: People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean, don’t they have thoughts?

Commentary:
"Those who can fall asleep faster than a dropped potato 🥔 have got to be hiding some magical sleep secrets 🧙‍♂️. Do they skip the overthinking stage and dive straight into dreamland? 🌙 Maybe they're just professional nappers with a PhD in Dozing Off 😴. Sweet dreams or plot twist: they're actually night ninjas 🌌!"
3 months ago
Share →: My superpower is to wake up more tired than I was when I fell asleep.

Commentary:
"Move over, Superman! This superhero wakes up ready to conquer the world… of nap-taking 💤😂 #SleepySuperpowers"
3 months ago
Share →: I always say “morning” instead of “good morning”, because if it was a good morning, I’d still be asleep.

Commentary:
"Who needs a good morning when you can just have a morning, right? I mean, let's be realistic here – who among us can truly claim every morning is a good one? I'll stick to just acknowledging the fact that I'm awake, thank you very much!"
3 months ago
Share →: Adulthood is basically just trying to fall asleep at night and stay awake during the day.

Commentary:
"Adulthood: where tying to master the art of being a night owl AND an early bird simultaneously 🦉🌞. Who knew being a responsible grown-up would involve so much strategic napping? 😂💤 #AdultingLife"
4 months ago
Share →: Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can’t eat anything when I’m asleep!

Commentary:
"Who knew that the ultimate diet plan was just a comfy pillow away? Forget counting calories, just count sheep and let those extra pounds snooze away!"
4 months ago
Share →: They say there’s no such thing as a stupid question, but then they’ll go and wake you up to ask if you’re asleep.

Commentary:
Well, it seems like some people have a talent for asking questions at the most inconvenient times! Who knew that pondering the existence of stupid questions could lead to such a hilariously ironic wake-up call? Just remember, even if you're asleep, your sense of humor is always wide awake!
5 months ago
Share →: Pretending I’m asleep so my boss has to carry me to the meeting.

Commentary:
"Trying to avoid that Monday morning meeting like 🛌💤 Who needs coffee when you have the 'pretend to be asleep' strategy ready to go? Just don't blame us if your boss starts developing a complex 😉 #workplacehacks"
5 months ago
Share →: Sparkling water tastes like that feeling when your foot falls asleep.

Commentary:
"Sparkling water: giving your taste buds the same fizzy confusion as when your foot decides to hit the snooze button! 🤪🦶✨"