26 Funny asleep quotes

Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can't eat anything when I'm asleep!

Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can’t eat anything when I’m asleep!

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

They say there’s no such thing as a stupid question, but then they’ll go and wake you up to ask if you’re asleep.

They say there’s no such thing as a stupid question, but then they’ll go and wake you up to ask if you’re asleep.

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

Pretending I'm asleep so my boss has to carry me to the meeting.

Pretending I’m asleep so my boss has to carry me to the meeting.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

Sparkling water tastes like that feeling when your foot falls asleep.

Sparkling water tastes like that feeling when your foot falls asleep.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

Fall in love? I can barely fall asleep.

Fall in love? I can barely fall asleep.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

I wonder if people that fall asleep right away know that we hate them.

I wonder if people that fall asleep right away know that we hate them.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

Don’t hate me because I can fall asleep within seconds; hate me because I can sleep through the night without having to get up to go to the bathroom.

Don’t hate me because I can fall asleep within seconds; hate me because I can sleep through the night without having to get up to go to the bathroom.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

I wear sunglasses when I'm driving so nobody knows I'm asleep.

I wear sunglasses when I’m driving so nobody knows I’m asleep.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

Telling your child their sibling is still asleep a very effective way to get them to practice their instrument.

Telling your child their sibling is still asleep a very effective way to get them to practice their instrument.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025