Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

Commentary:
Relationship Status: Playing it cool with the pup, hoping he doesn't realize he's been pied 😂🐶🍃 #PuppyRejection #LeafDistraction
6 months ago
Share →: An eye exam where the optometrist makes you read a menu under dim lights.

Commentary:
"Trying to read a menu at a dimly lit restaurant, or just getting an eye exam? 🕶️🔦 Talk about a fine line between ordering pasta and checking your vision! Who knew squinting could become a gourmet experience 🍝😂 #EyeStrainMenuGain"
6 months ago
Share →: My yoga instructor was drunk today. Put me in a very awkward position.

Commentary:
Oh, downward dog-gone it! 🧘‍♂️🍸 Looks like your yoga class took a twist worthy of the corkscrew pose! 🌀 Time for a new instructor who can find their balance, both on and off the mat! 😉 #TipsyTreePose
6 months ago
Share →: How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? Do you just call them and say you can’t come?

Commentary:
Well, it's not like you can leave a voicemail saying, "Sorry, I'm not feeling very productive today." 🙈💦 Just imagine the awkwardness of that phone call – "Hello, yes, I need to cancel my reservation at the sperm bank… No, no reason in particular, I'm just feeling a bit… drained?" 😂 It definitely raises some intriguing logistical questions!
6 months ago
Share →: Turning to the person next to me and saying “thanks for nothing” as I get off the train.

Commentary:
"Well, that was a ride as smooth as a square wheel! 🚂😜 Leaving the train like a pro with a parting shot, 'Thanks for nothing!' 🙄 Farewell, dear locomotive, until we meet again on the rollercoaster of life! 🎢😄"
6 months ago
Share →: You never forget your first kiss. Or your first meeting with HR.

Commentary:
"Ah, the nostalgia of firsts! 😘💼 Remember that awkward dance of paperwork and office policies? Definitely a memorable – if not slightly traumatizing – experience! 🤣 #OfficeLife #HRhilarity"
6 months ago
Share →: The guy in the stall beside doesn’t know he can shut off his camera shutter.

Commentary:
Looks like he's accidentally treating the bathroom like a photo shoot! 📸 Maybe he's just trying to go for that "caught in the act" aesthetic? 🚽😄 Just a heads-up buddy, it's not the best setting for a surprise photo op! #BathroomBlunders
6 months ago
Share →: Meeting Beyoncé and telling her I loved her in Goldmember and mentioning nothing about her music career, just to see if it throws her off.

Commentary:
"Imagine being Beyoncé and having someone come up to you gushing about Goldmember instead of your iconic music career 🤯 Maybe she'll just respond with 'I'm a survivor, I'm not gon' give up' 😂🎤 #OopsIDidItAgain"
Jan 26, 2025
Share →: I’m uncomfortable around tall people. What if they pick me up and put me on their shoulders?

Commentary:
"Being around tall people gives a whole new meaning to the phrase 'getting a leg up'! 🦵👀 If they ever try to lift you up, just pretend you're part of a trust fall exercise gone wrong! 😂 #ShortPeopleProblems"
Jan 26, 2025
Share →: If you stand too close to me in the check out line, you may as well pay for my stuff while you’re breathing down my neck.

Commentary:
Ah, the invisible force field of personal space in the check out line! 🙅‍♂️🛒 Just remember, if you cozy up too close, you might end up involuntarily sponsoring someone's grocery run! 😂💸 #NeedMySpace