Wordgag ツ

4 months ago
Share →: Talking to animals doesn’t make you crazy, hearing them talk back does.

Commentary:
"Who knew the real issue was not in talking to animals, but in expecting a response back? It's a fine line between Dr. Dolittle and Dr. Delusional!"
4 months ago
Share →: If you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off, I will do the same thing to your head.

Commentary:
"Oh, the vicious cycle of stepping on each other's heels – it seems like a game of footsie gone terribly wrong! Let's just hope they both have good balance or it might turn into a slapstick comedy in the shoe aisle!"
4 months ago
Share →: Thank you for the opportunity but I don’t think being human is a good fit for me. I’m going to go back to school to become an octopus.

Commentary:
"Well, I guess this person is ready to trade in their human problems for eight tentacles worth of multitasking skills! Who needs arms when you can have tentacles, right? Watch out, world, here comes the future octopus graduate – just be sure to give them a hand… or eight!"
4 months ago
Share →: Just once I’d like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear “Monday has been cancelled,” and then go back to sleep.

Commentary:
"If only Mondays had a snooze button! Imagine the joy of waking up to the news that Monday has been cancelled – a dream come true for everyone who needs just a little more weekend in their life. Who knows, maybe one day the universe will grant us the ultimate Monday morning gift – an extra day of relaxation and Netflix binge-watching. Until then, we'll just have to keep hitting that 'snooze' button on our alarms and dream of a world without Mondays!"
4 months ago
Share →: Everyone who dramatically ‘quits’ social media is back in 48 hours like it was just a trial separation.

Commentary:
"Quitting social media is the modern-day equivalent of a 'breakup' – they always come crawling back like a regretful ex 🤷‍♂️📱 #TrialSeparationFail"
5 months ago
Share →: How many calories do you burn waiting to hear back?

Commentary:
"Waiting to hear back feels like a workout…minus the physical benefits 🏋️‍♂️💬 It might just be the newest addition to the fitness craze – the Mental Waitlifting Exercise! 💪 #ImpatientGainz"
5 months ago
Share →: Sometimes the whole point of going out is to then really savor coming back home.

Commentary:
Oh, the eternal truth of feeling like a homebody disguised as a social butterfly! 🦋🏡 Embrace the joy of going out just so you can have that epic "ahh, I'm finally home" moment. Who needs wild adventures when you have the cozy comfort of your own kingdom, am I right? 👑🛋️
5 months ago
Share →: My body is like an elastic band – no matter how I stretch it, it goes back to the nap position.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'nap position' – a state of perpetual relaxation 🛌 Sounds like your body just refuses to commit to any form of fitness! It's all about that elastic band life, stretching out and bouncing back 🔄💪 Maybe your body's secretly training for the Olympics in napping… Gold medal dreams in snoozing, coming right up! 🥇😂"
5 months ago
Share →: The worst part about borrowing money is having to pay it back or move to a new city.

Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of modern life – debts or destinations! 🏦🏙️ Don't you just love the dilemma of either parting with your hard-earned cash or packing up your life in search of a debt-free haven? Decisions, decisions… 💸😂"
5 months ago
Share →: I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3am coming back from the club.

Commentary:
"Thank goodness for cars – can you imagine explaining to a horse why you're stumbling home at 3am with club music still ringing in your ears? 🐴🚗 #horsepowervsenginepower"