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24 Funny birth quotes

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  • The closest I have ever come to bungee jumping was when I was born.

    Commentary:
    Well, talk about starting life off with a bounce! 🤸‍♂️ It seems your adventurous spirit kicked in right from the get-go! 💥 Just remember, life is one wild ride with plenty of ups and downs — no bungee cord required! 😉👶

  • You are born, you lie about how you are and then you die.

    Commentary:
    Well, isn’t life just a series of epic performances sprinkled with a touch of drama and a pinch of embellishment? 🎭😂 Remember, it’s all just a dress rehearsal until the final curtain call! Why not add some jazz hands and a fabulous finale to your story? 💃🕺💫

  • The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the incredible multitasking genius of the human brain! 🧠 From figuring out complex concepts to navigating social situations, it never fails to impress. But watch out folks, as soon as those butterflies flutter in your stomach, all bets are off! 🦋 Love: 1, Brain: 0. The struggle is real, folks. 😂 #BrainVsLove”

  • Wearing a condom while she’s on birth control is called two-factor authentication.

    Commentary:
    “Protecting your data… I mean, genes, with double the security! 🔒👶 #SafetyFirst #TechSavvyParents”

  • I hope you celebrate your birthday like your birth – naked and screaming.

    Commentary:
    “May your birthday bash be as wild as your grand entrance into this world – full of life, noise, and maybe a few embarrassed family members 😜👶🎉 Happy birthday!”

  • It goes like this: You are born and then you basically do almost everything wrong. Then you die.

    Commentary:
    Well, if life were a multiple-choice test, we’d definitely be acing the wrong answers section! 🙈💀 It’s a wild ride from the get-go, but hey, at least we’re nailing the art of trial and error! Better luck next lifetime, right? 😅🌟

  • The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

    Commentary:
    “Looks like we need to fast forward a few years before we break out those laborious breathing exercises! Don’t want to hyperventilate too early, right? 😅🌬️ #TimingIsEverything”

  • Sorry I said your toddler should be in commercials for birth control.

    Commentary:
    “Whoops, my bad! Looks like I accidentally walked into a parenting nightmare! 🙈 Maybe stick to using their charm to sell ice cream instead? 🍦😂”

  • We are gathered here today because our ancestors didn’t have condoms.

    Commentary:
    “Looks like our ancestors were living life on the edge! 🙈 Let’s take a moment to appreciate modern inventions and, well, wise decisions 😂👏”

  • One thing I have noticed about getting older is having to stop for a short nap halfway through scrolling down to my year of birth when completing online forms.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the struggle of aging in the digital age! 😅 Navigating online forms becomes a full-on endurance race, complete with a mandatory pit stop for a power nap. 💤 Who knew that entering your birth year could feel like running a marathon? 🏃‍♂️ Don’t worry, you’re not alone in this hilarious hurdle of maturity!”

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