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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in this whirlpool of emotions over there.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

That incredible ability of cats to only throw up on carpeted floors.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Mothers will invent chores just to be mad you’re not doing them too.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

It’s important to listen to both sides of the debate because you need to hear both the reality of the situation and also the dumbest thing anyone’s ever said.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

No ChatGPT for me, thanks. I will be asking Liam Gallagher on Twitter.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

I’m gonna start sending women unsolicited pizza pics.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

My favorite part of adulting is borrowing money from myself and paying myself back.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

“Just circling back on this.” – “Take another lap.”

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,541

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I haven’t posted a selfie in a while, but I’m still very cute. Just to keep you updated.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

That pile of clothes on my bed, seems to have strange powers and gets higher on its own.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Podcasts are like babies, they’re too easy to create and not everyone should have one.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Today’s toddlers can switch on laptops and use apps. When I was little, I ate sand.

Breaking via Twitch:

Al guys are like, “We can’t use it to cure cancer, but we can suck all the joy and purpose out of life so that dying isn’t sad.”

Trending via WeChat:

Therapy only works if you have a lower IQ than the therapist.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Sure, my internet service is overpriced and spotty but you can’t put a price on unintentionally being dropped from every Zoom meeting.

Going viral on Slack:

I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Sorry for being socially awkward. It’s just that I’m socially awkward.

Funny bladder quotes

Funny bladder quotes 💦 bring the perfect mix of humor and relief to those awkward bathroom moments 🚽😂 Whether you’re stuck in traffic or at a long meeting, these witty lines remind us all to laugh when nature calls! So, get ready to chuckle and never take your bladder too seriously again 😄🚀 #BathroomHumor #LaughItOut

New funny bladder quotes 👇

Who needs an alarm clock when you have a bladder.

1 week ago

alarm, alarm clock, bladder, clock, humor, morning, morning routine, needs, routine, waking, waking up
The incontinent optimist sees the bladder as half empty.

1 week ago

bladder, empty, half, half empty, humor, irony, optimist, perspective
I can’t believe the gall of this bladder.

2 weeks ago

believe, bladder, bodily, bodily functions, disbelief, functions, funny observation, gall, humor, i, observation, surprise
If being hydrated is such a great thing, why does it feel like my bladder is pissed off?

2 weeks ago

being, bladder, feel, frustration, great, health, humor, hydrated, hydration, irony, pissed, thing
You can’t boss me around. You’re not my bladder.

2 weeks ago

around, authority, bladder, boss, control, humor, independence, me
My fairytale would be called the princess and the pea sized bladder.

3 weeks ago

bladder, comedy, fairytale, humor, pea, princess, storytelling
I had big plans to sleep in today, but my bladder canceled.

3 weeks ago

big, bladder, cancel, humor, i, morning, plans, sleep, today, wake, wake up
I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.

3 weeks ago

40, age, alarm, alarm clock, bladder, changes, clock, humor, i, life, life changes, need, over, over 40, sleep, waking, waking up
I always need to pee, but it’s just because my heart is so big it pushes on my bladder.

3 weeks ago

always, big, big heart, bladder, bodily, bodily function, exaggeration, function, heart, humor, i, just, need, pee
You’re over 35. Better go pee before you leave, pee when you get there, pee while you’re there, and pee before you leave.

3 weeks ago

35, advice, age, aging, bathroom, before, better, bladder, funny advice, health, humor, leave, over, pee, routine, while

All funny bladder quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on Slack this month:

Life tip: If all of your bathrooms are full and you’re waiting for someone to finish, just turn off the WiFi in the house.

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Stop animal testing! Use my ex!

76 shares on X this month:

Having a horse run off on you in medieval times must have been crazy. Imagine if your car got scared and ran away, and you found it a day later by itself at a gas station.

24 shares on X this month:

This coffee isn’t working. Think I need holy water.

67 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s always a huge relief when I’m reading a list of symptoms of a deadly disease, and it says unexplained weight loss.

96 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m at the age where I understand that paying a little extra for convenience and comfort is absolutely okay.

85 shares on Instagram this month:

Told my homie I was “going through it” and he just said “go around it”.

71 shares on Reddit this month:

For a girl that loves sleep and hates stress, my career choice is questionable.

42 shares on Threads this month:

You know you’re over 50 when you have “upstairs Ibuprofen” and “downstairs Ibuprofen”.

31 shares on YouTube this month:

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t assume anything except the fetal position.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m only here while I wait for that Nigerian prince to follow through on his end of the bargain.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Person in murder documentary: This is a small town. Things like this don’t happen here. Me: Um, based on the shows I watch, that’s all that happens in small towns.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

As it turns out, the only way to avoid work stress is not going.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Venting to ChatGPT is crazy, y’all turning schizophrenic.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Prime Video will find the movie you were looking for and then say, “Oops, you gotta pay for it.”

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Yes, liquor store clerk, I do need help. But I decided to come here instead.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m always best at the things I shouldn’t do.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,625

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

I had 99 problems but getting divorced solved 98 of them.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

This football season, we need to bring back getting drunk and calling in to your team’s local radio show after the game. Such a lost art.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

I don’t understand why it isn’t socially acceptable to choose to be nocturnal. The angry hot sky ball is gone, my internet is fast, everyone finally shut up, what’s not to like.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

If you pass out in front of your kids they will either try to call an ambulance or use you as a trampoline. You just don’t know.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I have a mental illness that makes me think that people will change their minds if I present the correct arguments with the appropriate facts and data.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Most of my shoulder workout comes from shrugging when people ask me questions.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Growing up means choosing cozy couch moments over crowded club scenes. Cheers to adulting!

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Bob Ross could paint a forest in 10 minutes. I’ve been ‘working on myself’ for years, and I’m still unfinished.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

Please do not ask a bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Nothing can break the bond between me and peanut butter.

Trending via WeChat:

I love my cat, but I hope in her next life she’s reincarnated as the owner of a very whiny cat.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Spice up your meltdown through interpretive dance.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Hate when you’re trying to take a nap and the dentist is all “Please open your mouth.”

Spotted on Telegram:

My two moods are eating a breakfast sandwich or wishing I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Of course, because I’m wearing a white shirt, my coffee chose violence.

Spotted on Twitch:

I hate when people can’t let go of the past. Debt collectors are the worst.

Just shared via Facebook:

My favorite animal is me when my feelings are hurt.

Trending via Facebook:

Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

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