67 Funny bring quotes

• I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?

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  3 weeks ago

  annoyance, bar, bring, conversation, dog, everyone, gathering, humor, i, kids, mad, social

• When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.

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  3 weeks ago

  activity, bring, dog, dog treat, humor, i, never, outdoor, outdoor activity, owner, people, people treat, pet, pet owner, take, treat, walk

• Men tell you “I know a place” and bring you to the brink of madness.

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  3 weeks ago

  adventure, bring, expectations, humor, i, know, madness, men, place, relationship, tell

• Airlines be like: “Oh, wow. Oh, God. We didn’t think everyone would bring a bag!”

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  3 weeks ago

  airline, bag, bring, everyone, God, humor, luggage, oh, passenger, surprise, think, travel

• I always bring a glass of water to bed with me so I have something to knock over in the middle of the night.

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  3 weeks ago

  always, bed, bring, glass, humor, i, knock, knock over, me, middle, night, over, routine, sleep, something, water

• Bring me a higher love. You have 24 hours. No cops.

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  3 weeks ago

  bring, cops, demand, hours, humor, love, me, relationship, time, urgency

• Taking screenshots of the screenshots buried in my photo library to ‘bring them to the front.’ It’s not a great system, I admit.

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  3 weeks ago

  admit, bring, buried, clutter, digital, digital mess, front, great, humor, i, library, mess, organization, phone, phone use, photo, photo library, screenshot, screenshots, system, taking, tech, tech humor

• Them: Money doesn’t bring happiness. Me: Pass the money over here, I like to be sad.

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  3 weeks ago

  bring, happiness, here, humor, i, irony, me, money, over, pass, perspective, relationship, sad, sarcasm

• If you’re curious what the priciest item in a store is just bring a kid along because they’ll definitely find then break it.

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  3 weeks ago

  break, bring, child, curiosity, expensive, humor, item, just, kid, mishap, parenting, shopping, store

• I don’t want to adult today, I just want to dog. I’ll be lying down on the floor in the sun, you can pet me and bring me some snacks.

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  3 weeks ago

  adult, adulting, bring, carefree, dog, floor, humor, i, just, lying, lying down, me, pet, procrastination, relaxation, snacks, sun, today, want

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