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17 Funny calm quotes

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4 weeks ago
Share →: Have you ever been so stressed that you’re calm?

Commentary:
"When your brain reaches Zen mode because it's too busy screaming internally 😅🧘‍♂️🔥"
1 month ago
Share →: “Do it scared!” Thanks, but I have done everything scared. When is it my turn to do it calm?

Commentary:
Haha, same here! Can I get a “calm” pass, please? 😂🙈🧘‍♀️
1 month ago
Share →: Perhaps an evening in the meditation cage will soothe you.

Commentary:
"Ah, nothing like some quality time in the meditation cage to 'zen' out… or is it 'zoo' out? 🧘‍♂️🦁"
2 months ago
Share →: You gotta act cool, calm, and collected around liquid eyeliner because it can sense your fear.

Commentary:
“Beware the liquid eyeliner—it’s like an emotional ninja stealthily waiting for your moment of weakness. Stay calm, stay steady, or you’ll end up with a spider’s web on your eyelids! 😱👁️💧🤣”
3 months ago
Share →: Only money has the right to say “you’ll regret losing me”. The rest of you calm down.

Commentary:
"Only money thinks it's got that 'I'm irreplaceable' vibe 💸 The rest of you, chill out and grab a snack 🍿😂"
3 months ago
Share →: Fellas, if your lady is mad, ask her if it’s because she’s put on some weight. That’ll calm her down.

Commentary:
Ah, the age-old advice for fellas! 🤭 It's a foolproof way to set a new world record in the 100-meter "doghouse dash." 🏃‍♂️ Just remember, behind every successful man is a woman rolling her eyes. 😂 #SleepingOnTheCouchTonight
4 months ago
Share →: I am just a man, a man who told a woman to calm down, so I guess this is goodbye.

Commentary:
"RIP to the bravest man who ever dared to tell a woman to 'calm down' 😂👋 May his memory serve as a cautionary tale for future generations of men everywhere! Farewell, dear sir, you shall be dearly missed… by no one. 🙅‍♂️"
4 months ago
Share →: If you want to complain about my driving at least calm down and get off my hood first.

Commentary:
"Hey, if you're gonna critique my driving, do it from a safe distance – like the sidewalk! 🚗💨 Just saying, it's hard to focus on road rage when you're riding my car like a hood ornament! 😂 #DrivingDrama"
5 months ago
Share →: Never in the history of calming down has anyone calmed down after being told to calm down.

Commentary:
"Trying to calm someone down by telling them to calm down is like trying to put out a fire by pouring gasoline on it. 🤦‍♂️🔥 Remember, in the history of calming down, the phrase 'calm down' has only ever caused more chaos! 😂 #KeepItCool"
5 months ago
Share →: Traumatized people will navigate emergency situations with calm surety but then have an anxiety attack in a grocery store.

Commentary:
🤣 "Ah, the mysterious ways of the traumatized mind – capable of handling a crisis like a seasoned pro, yet get them near the vegetable aisle in a grocery store and all bets are off! It's like their survival instincts are on vacation while their anxiety decides to throw a party in the produce section! 🛒😱"