19 Funny calm quotes

• 

  1 week ago

  Share →: Cows are very calm, considering the whole floor is food to them.

  Commentary:
  Never skip floor season! 🐄🥗😂

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: You used to calm me on my cell phone!

  Commentary:
  "When your ringtone was my favorite genre 🎶📱😂"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Have you ever been so stressed that you’re calm?

  Commentary:
  "When your brain reaches Zen mode because it's too busy screaming internally 😅🧘‍♂️🔥"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: “Do it scared!” Thanks, but I have done everything scared. When is it my turn to do it calm?

  Commentary:
  Haha, same here! Can I get a “calm” pass, please? 😂🙈🧘‍♀️

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Perhaps an evening in the meditation cage will soothe you.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, nothing like some quality time in the meditation cage to 'zen' out… or is it 'zoo' out? 🧘‍♂️🦁"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: You gotta act cool, calm, and collected around liquid eyeliner because it can sense your fear.

  Commentary:
  “Beware the liquid eyeliner—it’s like an emotional ninja stealthily waiting for your moment of weakness. Stay calm, stay steady, or you’ll end up with a spider’s web on your eyelids! 😱👁️💧🤣”

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: Only money has the right to say “you’ll regret losing me”. The rest of you calm down.

  Commentary:
  "Only money thinks it's got that 'I'm irreplaceable' vibe 💸 The rest of you, chill out and grab a snack 🍿😂"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: Fellas, if your lady is mad, ask her if it’s because she’s put on some weight. That’ll calm her down.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the age-old advice for fellas! 🤭 It's a foolproof way to set a new world record in the 100-meter "doghouse dash." 🏃‍♂️ Just remember, behind every successful man is a woman rolling her eyes. 😂 #SleepingOnTheCouchTonight

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: I am just a man, a man who told a woman to calm down, so I guess this is goodbye.

  Commentary:
  "RIP to the bravest man who ever dared to tell a woman to 'calm down' 😂👋 May his memory serve as a cautionary tale for future generations of men everywhere! Farewell, dear sir, you shall be dearly missed… by no one. 🙅‍♂️"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: If you want to complain about my driving at least calm down and get off my hood first.

  Commentary:
  "Hey, if you're gonna critique my driving, do it from a safe distance – like the sidewalk! 🚗💨 Just saying, it's hard to focus on road rage when you're riding my car like a hood ornament! 😂 #DrivingDrama"

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