Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Hide and seek, except it’s my husband searching for where he last put his pants.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Captain America taught me that I just need to take performance enhancing drugs to be loved by everyone.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

There are 400 billion stars in our galaxy and perhaps two trillion galaxies in total, and I just wonder if Miss Universe fully understands her achievement.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

My mayor is Muslim, my bagels are Jewish, my Dior is Christian.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Never let your job prevent you from acting unemployed.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

That moment when you clean the apartment and a year later everything is dirty again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Jan 2, 2026

3,605

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

I always have a bad connection in my head when someone tries to explain a card or board game to me.

Going viral on Discord:

Sorry, can’t. I’m currently nodding in class so the teacher doesn’t feel sad.

Spotted on Reddit:

People who lie all the time really think that we don’t know.

Spotted on Facebook:

I Knew Better, But I Did It Anyway: A Memoir

Breaking via Slack:

I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

Just shared via WeChat:

Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

Trending via Discord:

This Monday has Monday written all over it.

Trending via Facebook:

I like it when someone feeds me their food without me asking. I feel like a part of my inner child heals.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Lady on the streets, Cheeto crumbs in my sheets.

Broadcasted on Discord:

If you catch me smiling at you, chances are I am plotting my revenge.

Funny center quotes

Funny center quotes bring the perfect blend of humor and wit to brighten your day! 😄 Whether you need a clever twist or a lighthearted jab, these gems keep things lively and entertaining. 🎉 Ready to add some laughter to your feed? Let’s dive into the funniest lines that hit right at the heart of every situation! 😂✨

New funny center quotes 👇

When I’m on hold and the song ends, I always expect someone to pick up the phone.

0

2 months ago

always, call, call center, center, customer, customer service, expectation, hold, humor, i, on hold, phone, pick, service, someone, song, waiting
When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

0

2 months ago

center, humor, irony, learn, people, science, self-centered, surprise, universe
They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

0

2 months ago

call, call volume, center, customer, customer service, frustration, humor, invention, irony, normal, service, should, volume
Humans can accomplish so much, unless it’s parking at a shopping center during the holidays.

0

2 months ago

accomplish, accomplishment, center, holidays, humans, humor, irony, much, parking, shopping, shopping center, struggle
My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

0

2 months ago

amazing, center, doing, flowers, garden, gardening, humor, i, left, outdoor, where, year
“She’s so self-centered”—who’s supposed to be the center of my life? You?

0

2 months ago

center, humor, life, personality, relationship, sarcasm, self-centered
Please make sure you are only drinking as much water as you REALLY need. We need that for the data centers. If you’re thirsty, AI is thirsty too.

0

3 months ago

AI, center, conservation, data, data center, drink, drinking, humor, much, need, only, please, resource, sure, technology, thirst, thirsty, too, water
My girlfriend? You wouldn’t know her, she’s in a different data center.

0

6 months ago

center, data, data center, different, girlfriend, humor, joke, know, relationship, tech, tech joke

All funny center quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on TikTok this month:

My yoga instructor was drunk today. Put me in a very awkward position.

19 shares on WeChat this month:

Forget being the bigger person, I’m going to just start barking at people.

23 shares on Messenger this month:

Someone tongue kissed me recently in a way I can only describe as 5th base.

99 shares on Pinterest this month:

Thinking of starting a club for people who don’t like to leave their house. There are no meetings.

13 shares on Twitch this month:

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I am at work.

59 shares on Telegram this month:

Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.

77 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Friends with benefits but the benefits are you getting me an internship with your father’s network.

86 shares on TikTok this month:

One or the other, Lord – I can’t be broke and heartbroken.

40 shares on Twitch this month:

Plot twist: weed is addicted to me.

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you really wanna piss someone off when introducing them, make little finger quotation marks in the air when announcing their job title.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

To everyone who opens the fridge, stares, and closes it hoping new snacks will appear… You’re my people.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My two moods are eating a breakfast sandwich or wishing I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

He just walked right into my heart and switched on the lights.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

(pausing the TV and turning to my kids) Now I want to talk to you guys for a second about what Bart just told that man to do.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite conspiracy theory is that everything is going to be OK.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Having children is a pyramid scheme.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand the desire to rock climb. We have stairs for that now. Problem solved.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The year flies by when you’re scrolling.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

You’ll be having a good day and then someone your age says they’re buying a house.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,488

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Celebrities should not be allowed to name children.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Every single bad day happened because I woke up.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

People who live alone should get one practice conversation before they have to speak out loud for the first time that day.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

If you want to complain about my driving at least calm down and get off my hood first.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

I slept for 11 hours last night, just wanted everyone with kids to know that.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

It was the kind of movie that kept you on the edge of your seat, waiting for something interesting to happen.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Donuts have holes in them, just like acoustic guitars, but that’s pretty much where the similarities end.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s, where the hair shows up uninvited and looks pissed to be here.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Siblings are proof you can love someone and also dislike them at the same time.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

It’s important to listen to both sides of the debate because you need to hear both the reality of the situation and also the dumbest thing anyone’s ever said.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I wasn’t planning on moving, but I was just invited to the neighborhood fall potluck, so I guess now I have no choice.

Spotted on Twitch:

We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

Spotted on YouTube:

Choosing to ignore my strangely symbolic dream because I have a lot going on right now already.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Remember when you were a kid, you slept on the couch and without saying anything you found yourself in your bed. Now you sleep in your bed and if you say anything, you end up on the couch.

Trending via Facebook:

Please don’t flirt with me. I’m trying not to cheat on my crush who doesn’t like me.

Going viral on Instagram:

I just want to be treated like a hot little French fry.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

The only constant in my life are the accidental screenshots of my lock screen.

Shared recently on Threads:

I hate it when I do the math about where my money went, and it all adds up. No one robbed me; I didn’t lose it. It was really all me.

Shared recently on Slack:

Take me down to the Moria city, where the girls are green and the boys are stinky… and even Gandalf said ‘Nope, too freaky!’

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