31 Funny close quotes

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  2 days ago

  View →: Seeing people exercising outside my house really motivated me to get up and close the blinds.
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  3 weeks ago

  View →: Hotel towels are always the worst. So thick and fluffy that I can’t even close my suitcase.
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  4 weeks ago

  View →: Some people are storms dressed like sunsets. Beautiful from a distance. Dangerous up close.
• 

  1 month ago

  View →: I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.
• 

  1 month ago

  View →: Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say: “Close Enough.”
• 

  2 months ago

  View →: My hobbies include trying to close the elevator doors before anyone else gets on.
• 

  3 months ago

  View →: If you look close enough, everyone is insane.
• 

  3 months ago

  View →: Keep your fries close and your onion rings closer.
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  4 months ago

  View →: When one door closes, lock it securely, along with all your other doors and windows, before any inspirational quotes get in.
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  4 months ago

  View →: The Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range.
• 

  4 months ago

  View →: First date idea: I lean in close and surprise you with a wet willy.
• 

  4 months ago

  View →: People watching you so close, you’d think you were a Netflix series.
• 

  4 months ago

  View →: I hate hotel bath towels. So thick and fluffy, I can’t even close my suitcase.
• 

  4 months ago

  View →: Sorry I didn’t respond to your message, I got stuck in a cloud while skydiving and lived for 72 days by drinking rain and eating birds that flew too close.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Why is the debate at night time? Let’s get this thing started at 4pm. I don’t need to get riled up so close to bedtime.
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  4 months ago

  View →: That sound when you close the cupboard and hear something fall inside, that’s the sound of somebody else’s problem.
• 

  4 months ago

  View →: This gingerbread house isn’t even close to fire safety codes.
• 

  4 months ago

  View →: Betrayal only comes from someone we’re close to. Just like herpes.
• 

  4 months ago

  View →: If you stand too close to me in the check out line, you may as well pay for my stuff while you’re breathing down my neck.
• 

  4 months ago

  View →: What if they close grocery stores and we have to hunt for our food? I don’t even know where the little gummy bears live.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I’m getting close to that age where people applaud the things I’m “still able to do”.
• 

  4 months ago

  View →: If a door closes, you can just open it again. That is a door. Doors work like this.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: I’m not addicted to coffee. We’re just very close.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: “We should get tickets” is as close to a rock concert as I get these days.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: That beeping of the parking assistant when you get too close to other cars. I’d like that for people.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: What beautiful weather outside. I’m gonna close the curtains.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: If one door opens when another door closes, your house is probably haunted.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: When I’m at a party, I pretend to be Pac-Man. I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.

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