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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

I would like to be reincarnated as less tired.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Calling the police when someone unfollows.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m so sick of these little 30-minute weekends.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Some folks go to college to delay being a bum.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

You know what goes great with helping your kid with math homework? Vodka!

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Dear God, thank you for the job I have. But if you have a lottery win planned for me, I’m ready! Thank you.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

The theory that two stacked beds can’t be converted into two regular beds has been debunked.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Men invented pool tables so they could watch each other bend over.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,020

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Beds are always the coziest when it’s time to get up and you don’t want to.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Waiting for my wife to approve my new year’s resolution of making independent decisions.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I suppose the supreme discipline for ninjas is sneaking up with flip flops.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Dear brain, please stop thinking so much exactly when it’s time to fall asleep.

Making waves on YouTube:

You’re the human embodiment of an “ugh.”

Making waves on X:

Animals are so crazy because, why is your mom only one year older than you?

Going viral on Reddit:

I was going to learn to play the violin, but it was too much of a commitment. I wanted something with no strings attached.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I’m so lazy that I get jealous when it’s bedtime in other countries.

Shared recently on Messenger:

They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.

Trending via Instagram:

I used to love going out with people. Now I weigh the pros and cons of human interaction, like it’s a business decision.

Funny convinced quotes

Funny convinced quotes are the perfect blend of wit and confidence that make you chuckle while nodding in agreement 😂💡 Whether you’re trying to persuade friends or just brighten your day, these clever lines pack a punch of humor and certainty 🎯😄 Ready to get inspired and amused? Dive into a world where being absolutely sure never sounded so hilarious! 🎉✨

New funny convinced quotes 👇

All funny convinced quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on WeChat this month:

I have some cake and now I’m eating it too. Not seeing the problem here.

46 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m “I can’t sit like that for too long” years old.

55 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If the earth was flat, cats would have pushed everything off it by now.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Terrible economy to ask a girl what’s wrong.

93 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I didn’t ghost you, I saved you from me.

47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Do people who do triathlons know that they don’t have to?

58 shares on Slack this month:

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

People my age are raising children, and I’m just here trying to bribe myself with treats into doing my own chores.

31 shares on Reddit this month:

(pausing the TV and turning to my kids) Now I want to talk to you guys for a second about what Bart just told that man to do.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

If I was a priest, I’d make my side of the confession booth really big so I could run around.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Social media is a great way to make new enemies.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You know you’re over 40 when you clean your house to the music you used to get drunk to.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Going to work has backfired on me so many times.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter sucks so much, but randomly there are such funny tweets, so I wait, like a frog, for one delicious fly.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The Netflix “Recommended For You” list is why I have trust issues.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I would love to have children one day. Two days maximum.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder if that football guy will be at the Taylor Swift game again today.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I could win awards for having a bad memory. In fact, I probably did. How would I know.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,712

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

I bought a bag of M&M’s and they don’t have M’s anymore. They all have W’s, for woke.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next, you’re preheating the bathroom before you go in for a shower.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Line dancing was created by women waiting to use the restroom.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

In a parallel universe, I go to bed early and wake up fresh and unstoppable.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Can’t believe we stayed up and screamed “Happy New Year” for this shit.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Got my mind on my money and my money is nowhere to be found.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Date idea: you hold my hand while I call the dentist and you tell me I’m so brave.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

If she forgives you, then 30 minutes later comes back mad again: that means she told her friends in her group chat, and the board of directors did not agree.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I say things I don’t mean on spicy chicken.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

The dead bodies on Mt. Everest remind me that it’s perfectly fine to stay home and be lazy.

Live now on Threads:

I wish other jobs let us solve issues by releasing diss tracks. Got some sick rhymes about Debbie from accounting and her poorly structured invoicing.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Pressure washing is like regular washing but with a lot of yelling and tight deadlines.

Just landed via YouTube:

Have you ever been in the car with someone who drives like we got extra lives?

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.

Just shared via Messenger:

Just once I wanna slide down a dinosaur at the end of my workday, is that too much to ask for?

Going bananas on Discord:

Today, I want to talk about how people’s houses smell funny, but mine doesn’t.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Coffee should just be free for anybody over 30.

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