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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

You know you’re getting old when you and the grocery store have the same playlist.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

I found out my wife was cheating on me at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, and I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Kids don’t love anything as much as they love arguing with each other.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

I want someone to care for me as much as Netflix cares if someone has logged into my account from another device.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

My retirement plan is recording a hit Christmas song. I just need to learn how to sing and write music.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

We use our phones to watch videos that remind us of what life was like before we had phones.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

If I walk into a girl’s house and she got like 50 plants, I know she’s a keeper because she already takes care of a bunch of useless things. What’s one more?

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Therapy is nice but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

I love single sign-on because you only have to sign on once, 8 times a day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,600

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Money talks, and also waves goodbye.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

How many exercise videos do you have to buy before you get some results?

Making waves on Slack:

I named my wifi “The Promised LAN” because it always connects, but occasionally leaves you wandering in the desert looking for a better signal.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Bought some coconut shampoo, but when I got home, I realised I didn’t have a coconut.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’ve got midlife crises older than you.

Breaking via Pinterest:

The thing I’ve always found tricky about money is knowing how much I should have.

Trending via Facebook:

There are two wolves inside me, but please no one tell my landlord.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Taking yesterday’s bad mood on a multi-day tour.

Just landed via Reddit:

I don’t want to be dramatic, but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Funny convinced quotes

Funny convinced quotes are the perfect blend of wit and confidence that make you chuckle while nodding in agreement 😂💡 Whether you’re trying to persuade friends or just brighten your day, these clever lines pack a punch of humor and certainty 🎯😄 Ready to get inspired and amused? Dive into a world where being absolutely sure never sounded so hilarious! 🎉✨

New funny convinced quotes 👇

All funny convinced quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m fairly certain the person who put the first “r” in February also decided how to spell Wednesday.

43 shares on Instagram this month:

Gonna go walk the beach and stare annoyingly at couples. May even growl as I pass by.

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

I was not meant for Microsoft Teams.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

Congress taking an entire month off in a country where most people don’t get more than 2 weeks’ vacation is awesome.

74 shares on Instagram this month:

Just done a HIIT workout and if anyone sees me trying to do that again just go ahead and hiit me in the face.

41 shares on Messenger this month:

Gordon Ramsay is making us dinner. It’s a four curse meal.

80 shares on Instagram this month:

I can’t wait to see my older sister so she can point out I have more gray hair than she does.

24 shares on TikTok this month:

I’d change my name to laundry if it meant you’d think about doing me every day.

21 shares on TikTok this month:

Going viral on X is like winning a lotto during the apocalypse.

93 shares on WeChat this month:

A wise man once said: “Yes, darling. You’re right.”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I only go for nature walks with people I can outrun.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite part of The Godfather is when the guy wakes up and screams because the Mafia has stolen the bottom half of the horse he keeps in his bed.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Political ads be like: send us money so we can send you more ads.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Male birth control is free, and it’s called wearing Crocs with socks.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey (with the intention of going to sleep).

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is a highway: Too many cars, not enough bathrooms.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t be ashamed of who you are, that is your parent’s job.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Hi, I’m online. Would you like to argue for an hour about whether a hotdog is a sandwich?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

We need a Disney princess who’s a greedy profiteer, so we can cheer for the poison apple.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,599

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Straight man stuns they/them by ordering in fluent woke.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Due to personal reasons, I’m evil now.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

This quote is invisible. Only people who masturbate a lot can read it.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

My ex said I had commitment issues but this giant jar of Nutella says otherwise.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I can show you the stars, we just have to stand up really fast.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

The cashier said, “Have a good day,” but she doesn’t mean it.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

I always bring luggage when visiting my mom because I know she’ll send me on a guilt trip.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Did the people you had a crush on always like you back or are you funny?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

What’s it called when you mentally want to be horny but you’re physically not at all?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Everyone thinks they’re brave right up until a goose starts chasing them.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

Coffee should be free for everyone Monday through Friday.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I’m afraid that AI will quickly realize that the biggest problem on Earth is humans – and then solve the problem.

Just shared via Twitch:

If you don’t realize that you’re a werewolf, then you’re actually an unawarewolf.

Trending via Slack:

Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

Spotted on Twitch:

According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

Making waves on TikTok:

Pilot is one of the few jobs where you can get fired for going above and beyond.

Seen just now on Telegram:

A lobotomy and a forehead kiss would fix everything.

Seen just now on Instagram:

If I shook my head at every stupid thing I saw, I’d have permanent whiplash.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Adulthood means trying to convince yourself that the font is just too small and that it isn’t your eyesight going bad.

Breaking via Threads:

A Tinder type app, but it matches you with sandwiches.

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